I need help, to help my god daughter with her grief

(10 Posts)
Everlong Thu 25-Oct-12 21:30:58

No problem McPhee x

McPhee Thu 25-Oct-12 21:24:35

Oh everlong sad

Thank you for sharing your experience x

Everlong Thu 25-Oct-12 21:07:18

It's a good thing that she goes to the funeral imo. She's nine so old enough for you or her parents to talk to her beforehand and explain what happens.

My ds was 9 when his older brother died very suddenly. We talked to him about whether he wanted to go the funeral and explained as much as we could what it would be like. He was very brave, he held my hand the whole time. But it was the right thing that he attended.

A way to say goodbye.

McPhee Thu 25-Oct-12 21:01:06

Thank you.

I'll take a look at the suggestions/links. It;s been decided that she'll go to the funeral, she wants to go but part of me thinks/feels it's a bad idea. All of me wants to protect her from all this, but I can't sad. Granny will be cremated, and as far as I know, no one has actually told her what will happen. But does she need to know? I'm worried about what her reaction will be when the curtains close. We're all struggling with losing such a wonderful lady, just three weeks after she was diagnosed.

You can't protect them from everything though can you sad

QuickLookBusy Thu 25-Oct-12 12:55:24

It's still very early days. You will all still be in shock and coming to terms with it, just actually believing it is true takes a while.

My DD lost her best friend last year and I think it took me a long time to realise I can't make everything better for my dd, that is the instinct of an adult.
The only thing that would make everything better would be for her friend to come back and that isn't going to happen.sad

It's a long hard road, so take your time, offer to help in what ever way the family needs and let your God DD know you understand how sad she is, that its ok to be sad and that you want to be there for her, she can come and talk to you, help with your baby etc.

littlemrssleepy Thu 25-Oct-12 12:28:03

Might be worth checking out the Child Bereavement Trust www.childbereavement.org.uk I worked in a hospital and this was known as a good resource if children were struggling with grief.

Everlong Thu 25-Oct-12 12:23:16

Letting her talk and cry about her granny is a start. She may feel that she can't do that so easily at home.

Maybe buy her a lovely photo frame and get a photo of her granny and give it her?

Just be there for her.

mrsmplus3 Wed 24-Oct-12 22:21:35

Spend time together talking about it all, crying, remembering good times, have nice snacks, go walks with your baby in pram etc?
If you're her god mother you guys must be religious yeah? Talk about how happy and peaceful the gran will be in heaven and that she absolutely would not want you guys to be too devastated for very long, especially with a lovely new baby around too.
Death comes to us all, it's natural (presuming she had a long and good life?)

lorisparkle Wed 24-Oct-12 22:15:57

The charity 'Winston's Wish' is very helpful and has some information on their website.

Sounds like you are being a fantastic Godparent.

McPhee Wed 24-Oct-12 21:12:45

My gorgeous, wonderful 9 year old god daughter, lost her granny to cancer 9 days ago. The poor soul is really not coping. I mean how can she when everyone around her is grieving too. It's the first ever death she's dealt with, and her dad, whose mother has died, has totally shut down. My friend, her mum, is being left to hold everyone up, and tbh I'm also very worried about her.

I've got a 16 week old Dd I'm struggling with, but they need me. I'm grieving too for this wonderful lady we've lost.

Where can we get help for my god daughter?

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