Mumsnet Talk

Hello
Have just got back from hv and yet again feel a bit sad/worried/inadequate. I know the scales are based on formula fed babies and I and I am ebf but... my ds is 20 wks and is just under a stone, he has put on 12 ounces a month for the last 2 months so is dropping on the percentiles. I am happy with him in himself, he is very smiley, has started rolling over, is generally an active baby, he is not the biggest daytime sleeping fan but even that is improving. I don't think he is skinny he has little chubby legs and double chin????
I said all this to the hv and after initially recommending I start him on baby rice (which I would rather not do as I would like to keep ebf until 6 months when I am hoping to do baby led weaning) she said that it was up to me and if I'm happy I don't have to, but this felt more like "well if you think you know best.......".
i just feel a bit confused now as I know what I would like to do but obviously more than anything I want to do the best thing by my DS?
Do you have any thoughts?

IMO HVs do not under react. I'd imagine she'd assumed you'd be dying to wean, and meant it literally when she said "if you're happy you don't have to"

The 6ms is just a guide line. your baby may be ready for solids before then. Mine was at 5 1/2 months and i dont know anyone who got to the 6m on milk alone, bf or bottle.

If your baby is active he is burning off calories doing that as well as growing. So if his typical weight gain is slipping it could be he needs more calories. Even if he does have chubby legs!

Does he finish his bottle quickly? does he often want more? Does he seem frustrated that its all gone? If he is then he may be telling you he is ready for solids.

messymissy, there are plenty of people who got to 6m on milk alone. DD is 26 weeks tomorrow and so far has had about half a carrot stick and a few sucks of bread. The OP is breastfeeding.

If you are happy that he seems alert and healthy, plenty of weeing and pooing, interested in life, not "sickly" then I don't think it's very likely to be a problem.

Have you compared him with bf centile charts? I think they can be found online if you look around - that might show that he is doing as expected.

Another thing to consider is what you and DP were like as babies/toddlers - my DS started big but dropped down the centiles after a few weeks and continued down to, frankly, skinny as a toddler. Which he continues to be even now (16). But it didn't worry me because I have pictures of my dad and brother at various ages and skinny would be the only word to describe them too, so I know where he gets it from.

DS is 10+ mo and never had solids. He has health issues (cleft palate, PRS, heart problems, severe reflux) and is tube fed a milk free fumula but is the chubbiest little chap ever! He weighs 18lb60z this week and has always dwindled along the 9th centile. His cardiologist said he's def in the chubby cheeks category!! All babies are different, you know that. Trust your instincts if you want to leave weaning for a while then do so. You really only need to worry if your little one plumits down the charts

messymissy - my DS is a few days short of six months and is still exclusively BF.

OP - I would feel v reassured by your baby's behaviour. My babies all start out MASSIVE (DC3 was off the charts!) and turn out small and skinny. It's a bit demoralising, but they have bags of energy, are bright eyed and are developing normally, which a lovely HV said was the main thing.

BTW, baby rice is not going to help put on weight anyway! It's lower in calories than milk

Thank you
I am not going to stick religiously to the six months as I know all these things are developmental so vary baby to baby. He still demand feeds and is happy when he finishes, he has recently got quicker but I think that seems normal. I don'y mean to sound particularly negative about hv I just find that from my one I come away with more questions than answers and feeling more unsure and worried.
My family are all fairly slim but my DP is a fairly big build, I'm sure its ok I just worry. i am going to look up the bf centile charts now that's a very sensible plan. Thanks again.
What do I need to look for to see if he his ready for BLW? He is not quite sitting up in high chairs, more trying to fold himself in 2!
I suppose I am just a neurotic first time mum.

If a 20 wk baby is still hungry after feeding then feed him more regularly, not necessarily needing solids yet, as someone else said, no nutritional quality in Baby rice anyway. Less calories than milk as pointed out.

yes 6 mths is a guideline but ime (5 dc's ) hv are keen to get babies onto solids far too early.

My ds was 10lb born on his due date and dropped right down to the lowest line over time, doc even suggested I get him checked for cystic fibrosis , I don't know why he was born so heavy but he's stayed naturally thin, eats very healthily and like a horse, just burns it all off, this may be your dc too.

He's your child, you know him best.

Hi Littlemai Go with your instincts. You know your baby best. I agree with AMuminScotland - If he's happy, alert and sleeping well then he's fine. My HV suggested I change my DS to a bottle as he wasn't gaining quickly enough in HER opinion. Luckily I had confidence to carry on feeding him myself. I knew he was a content baby and anyway all kids in DH and my families are beanpoles!

You're so not neurotic, you're doing a fab job! There is SO much presure on us to monitor our babies weight, wean them, progress them forward etc. Your DS will be ready when he's ready and not before. If you go to the Change 4 Life website, there is lots of info on there re weaning. They have a banana test which will help giude you and it's a bit of messy fun too!!

If you DS is not sitting well unsuported, is not putting everything into his mouth and watching you eat with huge interst, then I'd say he's not quite ready. Take your time and make sure you feel confident before you start weaning. Make it fun for both of you, not pressured.

My DD has always been a skinny bean. Just like her dad!
I too constantly got the HV saying she wasnt weighing enough, pushing me to feed her more and wean early. I did BLW with DD and waited till 6mths. She has always been happy and healthy so ive not worried too much. She hit all the milestone ahead of her time so ive not really worried.

Even now at 19 mths she is still a stick. I have such trouble getting clothes for her. Elasticated waists are a godsend! She is still in skirts and sleeveless csardigans etc aged 6-9 mths!

Dont feel pressured into weaning early if you'd rather not.

Thank you again- it is just so reassuring to hear from everyone. I am looking forward to weaning but am not in a rush to do it. I have to at least wait for the blw book to arrive
Think i'm going to hide from the hv for a while (and my MIL)

Just so you know, sitting up unaided, loss of tongue thrust reflex, pincer grasp and ability to pick up food, bite it, chew and swallow are the signs. The theory behind blw being that if they can eat it, they're ready.

My dd was nearer 7 months before she had anything other than milk. And she got to a whopping 25lbs on milk alone.

Certainly a hungry baby needs more milk, not early weaning.

I'm glad you feel reassured.

You don't have to see the hv you know.

Interesting to read many stories of babies reaching beyond 6 ms. thats great, never met any.

DD was sitting up unaided and making a grab for my food and mimicing chewing - even licking her lips whenever I ate something - before 6ms. She would look at me with such expectation!

Baby rice was not a success it is bland and she never liked it preferring instead foods with more flavour.

echo showofhands - you dont have to see the hv or maybe next time tell her that her advice worried you.

mine would often comment on DD's slimnest and slow weight gain and I would have to remind her I was tiny too so unlikely to have a whopper! New HV happy though as long as height and weight are in proportion.

Pigleycheg - i have found that Debenhams clothes are good for slim toddlers - they have the length but are better on the width (being narrower than other brands) especially tops and dresses and often have adjustable waist bands on trousers and skirts. Tesco do nice skirts with adjustable bands too.

Littlemai my DD weighed 6lbs at birth and by 20 weeks was still only about 10-11lbs i think. Some people are just littler! She was exclusively BF for 6 months, then we did BLW. She's 15 months now and still tiny thing, we discovered this morning that a coat from John Lewis aged 3-6 months fits her perfectly . But she eats like a horse! Fast metabolism I guess.

Don't feel under any pressure to wean early, as others have wisely said, that baby rice (which to my mind has all the nutritional value of wallpaper paste) has less calories than milk. If a baby is hungry they need more milk at that age, not low calorie mushed rice.

BLW is great. DD has never had a single mouthful of baby food, eats fantastically (and is totally unfussy) and uses her own cutlery now. Whereas her baby food fed friends are all going through a bit of a nightmare feeding phase at the moment. So I think it also has long term behavioural benefits too! Plus she has outstanding hand-eye coordination which I'm sure is to do with feeding herself since she was 6 months.

I do understand the worry though - but remember, someone has to be at the bottom fo the charts or the charts wouldn't be that size!

Thank you KiwiPanda, I think DS is probably going to be quite slim, I feed him on demand and wait for him to come off. After my last hv visit I slightly obsessively fed him (maybe force fed him) and for the first time he turned into a sicky baby- so I assume he didn't want the extra. He does PLENTY of wet nappies and poos, he has demonstrated his weeing ability regularly at our massages classes with me often walking home with more than one wet patch! I completely agree that someone has got to be in the bottom, and I also don't really understand how weight is a particularly accurate health measure on its own? but i suppose its the easiest to measure. (oops possibly beginning to just rant now).
I am excited about BLW the book arrived yesterday and it just seems logical to me.
I love hearing positive stories about it! And will start buying the mess protection equipment soon x

Hi Littlemai, my ds is a wee one too, he's 14 months now and is about 19 pounds. I just checked his baby book and he was 13lb 9oz at 18 weeks, so pretty much like your son. He was ebf too and I didn't wean until around 24 weeks, it was obvious he didn't need/want it.

He's fine and healthy and thriving and I don't think he looks particularly skinny or undernourished. Some babies just aren't as big as others! My dd was the same - she's only 2 stone now and she's 3.5. Not all adults are the same size so why should kids be? Just enjoy him and at least your back won't break carrying him!

Hi Littlemai,

My DD is FF and we waited until 25 weeks and 3 days () before we started weaning. She was always small and from various advice (including from my Mum) that weaning would help her put weight on, I'm glad that I went with my gut as it made no difference at all!

DD is now 9 months, she is only on the 9th centile and only weighs 16lb 7oz, even though she does eat well. I have resigned myself to the fact that she will always be small.

And to put your mind at rest, had to take her to a paed last week, totally not related to size/development and he didn't bat and eyelid at her weight. So please try not to worry.

HTH

Ignore advice to feed a perfectly happy, alert baby more just because of his weight. There is a colossal range of healthy weights for babies. Nobody ever seemed bothered that my ds1 was long and skinny - it's not as if he would have continued growing in length if there were something wrong with his nutrition. He's still far taller in centile terms than he is heavy, iyswim. Looks just like his Dad, who is also very tall and thin. Funny that...