DD's used to last well over an hour sometimes and nothing would calm her down, remember when she had a really bad one in a packed shopping centre, I had to take her to the toilets as everyone was staring and I was in tears cos I just didn't know what to do with her
she's 3 now and I can manage to talk her out of them now (except when she's really tired).

oh god yes mysticmasseuse; my 2.5 yo wont nap now so she is like a coiled spring from 3pm onwards and bedtime is a blessed relief!

Just under an hour here . I left the room at one point and she followed me threw herself on the floor and continued!

ikwym about your DD expecting you to shout and get angry. It's almost as though there is a script that needs to be followed and it won't end until they get the ending they expect. I still get that with my DS1 but he is at least old enough to explain that we can break the cycle. With toddlers though, the key to managing them is exactly what you have done imo; not being drawn into it means she kicked off longer than normal this time, but I'm sure the next time it won't be as bad, provided you keep calm again.

We have managed to get DD to calm down by asking her to take a breath and blow on her fringe and keep breathing with her until she calms down and then asking if she wants a cuddle. Now, if she gets in a state, it'll only last a few minutes before she starts the breathing herself and asking for a cuddle, or i'll ask of she needs a cuddle, and she calms down and tells me what it is she is tantrumming about.

It does get easier/more manageable

My mum reckons the longest tantrum I had pre-school age was around 5 to 6 hours. She recalls that the gas boiler repair man came that day, I had started the tantrum about an hour earlier (she couldn't remember over what) and the gas boiler took a while to repair and I was still tantrumming when the boiler man left.

So your dd is not up to my tantrum standard yet

not unusual to reach 45 minutes with dd1 (3y 8m). she had the longest terrible twos in history, and was getting much much better until she's decided naps are for wimps now she's permanently tired and has become more tantrumy again

ds doesnt usually do tantrums but had one that lasted 1hr 15 min the other day - suspect he was feeling under the weather though in retrospect.

We used to regularly have 35-45 minute ones.... I can now almost smile at the memory!

PS Of course i put that last bit in to show I'm a half decent parent

DD (4.5)had one yesterday that lasted about 90 mins, and only ended when she collapsed into bed exhausted an hour earlier than usual.

It was very upsetting but I'm sharing cos I imagine many of you will have either have worse tales to tell or be comforted to know its not just yours.

I am almost sure it only went on that long because I would not shout and lose my temper, it really seemed like that's what she was after.