anyone's lo started pointing later than 18 months and they have been ok?

[nappyaddict]

i'm concerned about my ds. he's 16 months.

he can talk a bit - says mummy, mimi (for grandma), baba (for baba seahorse swimming lessons we go to), baa baa (when he wants you to sing baa baa black sheep), shakes his head and says no and waves bye (sometimes) if you ask him to.

the thing is he is not pointing at all. if you call him he doesn't turn around. he doesn't bri ng me things he is interested in and doesn't really play with his toys-prefers to just crawl around aimlessly.

he also does this thing and has done since he was quite young where he sort of clenches his fist, bares his teeth, shakes his head and and makes a straining noise.

and he hates having any dirt on his hands. he gets really upset until you wipe it off.

forgot to mention although he can walk holding my hand and with his walker he has no balance and is uncoordinated aswell. he can't do shape sorters at all and he has a toy money box which you post plastic coins in. he knows the coin has to go in the slot but no matter how many times he tries (he's had this toy since june) he just can't do it.

sometimes if he gets really upset the only way i can calm him down is to put him in his paddling pool or the bath cos he has an almost abnormal interest in water, bathrooms, taps and toilets.

Nappyaddict, you sound very concerned about your DS. Have you spoken to your health visitor? I think that would be my first point of contact. She will probably say that he is too young to do anything yet but that doesn't mean that you can't talk to her and see if you both need to monitor him more closely.

The way you have written about your DS I can see why you have cause for concern but on the other hand, each of those behaviours is not by itself, necessarily a problem. I know several children who have walked late, for example and all children have their little idiosyncracies which might seem weird to the rest of the world but which are normal.

You mention that your DS crawls. How old was he when he started and how old was he when he first sat up? Does he understand what you are saying? Do you know if he can hear you properly?

Try not to worry too much (I know, I know, easier said than done). It could all sort itself out yet.

he doesn't seem to understand what i'm saying. the only thing he will do that i ask him is wave bye bye which he doesn't do every time.

spoke to the hv yesterday she didn't seem to think there was anything to worry about but i've never had much faith in her tbh.

I wouldn't worry too much about it to be honest. All children develop differently and at different ages, some even say boys are slower to develop than girls?!

Has he had a hearing test at all? The only reason I ask is because you talk about him not turning around and doesn't seem to have good balance skills - could this be related to his hearing? If you don't have faith in your HV, you could ask your GP to carry out this test for you.

I think if you are concerned and the HV isn't doing anything I would bypass her and see the GP. It's worth getting your ds' hearing tested again first and ruling out any problems there first.

would bad hearing have relation to not pointing?

Certainly sounds as if it could be a hearing problem. If he was apparently understanding then maybe not. But if you don't think he does, go to the GP and get his hearing checked. Tbh, the HV should be able to test hearing but if you have no faith in her by-pass her.

Just as a matter of interest you say you can get him to wave but sometimes but what else does he respond to. If he is having swimming lessons how does he cope with instructions there. Is he responding to gestures or is he listening? Does he make eye contact with you at all and does he respond to you when you try and play with him?

Hi, I think you should go to your gp and ask him to refer you to a paediatrician.
I understand that all children develop at different rates, however milestones are for a reason, and if there is anything not quite right,you should talk to your gp. My health visitor was rubbish, and told me it was normal for my ds to not be babbling at 1 year old. He didn't point either, he didn't clap, (doesn't do these things now).
Does your ds smile when you smile at him?
Does he copy your facial expressions?
It is good that he waves, my ds does not .
If he says mama to refer to you, that is an excellent sign of 'normal' development. My ds does not call me mama, or mummy or anything. I say 'normal' because mama is often one of the first words learned, according to my ds paediatrician, along with dada or mimi etc. so that is good about your ds.
If he is not walking, he may not be able to bring you things, iyswim, he probably needs his hands for crawling, esp if he doesn't have good balance.
My ds did not walk until he was 27 months old, and never brings me things he is interested in.
Alot of children like water, my nt ds loves water too. My asd ds will not calm down when he has tantrum,no matter what I do.
Sorry, I don't know if that was any help,Ido tend to waffle on.
If you are worried, approach your gp and ask for referral to a paediatrician.

I always had 18 months as my cut off for pointing with ds2 and ds3 (who were at high risk for autism). DS3 wasn't pointing at 16 months. I told my HV I was getting ready to have him referred to a paed, but also (slightly long story) swapped him from cow's to goat's milk. The lights went on and within a week he was pointing and beginning to talk.

I think understanding 'no' is a good sign and having a 'no'. In your situation I would probably wait until 18 months (partly because I think it aids sanity to have a cut off), but I would insist on a referral at 18 months if there's no change. If your HV is difficult perhaps try your GP. Ask them to administer the CHAT test (not diagnostic, it's only a screening test- but it will help you push for a referral to a paed).

Good luck- but in asnwer to your question yes- ds3 wasn't pointing at 16 months. He's almost 3 now and absolutely fine.

I can't understand why people post not to worry as all kids develop differently, when clearly the poster is worried enough to post. I would book a GP appointment and talk over your concerns. I really feel that HV's know nothing.

Fair point NAB3 but it was actually the HV who got the ball rolling about my DS1's AS and he has never seen the GP about it in 4 years. It depends on how good your HV is. Mine is great, nappyaddict's isn't which is why we said see the GP. I rarely see our GP but from the very little I know of him I suspect he might have tried to fob me off. He also would not have done what the HV did and which was go and observe DS at nursery and talk to the nursery staff before she got a referral from the GP for us. She did a great job.

I think we are all saying don't worry as it is too early to make any developmental delay diagnosis. There are plenty of children who don't walk, talk or do things that their mothers' think other children are doing but it really is to early for most intervention unless it is really obvious.

I suspect that nappyaddict is thinking some sort of ASD or dyspraxia (forgive me if I am wrong nappyaddict, but your description seems to indicate that is what you are thinking ) but it really, really is too soon to tell. The earliest dx I have ever heard of for that kind of thing is 3 or 4 and I was told it was difficult to give an dx before the age of 5 or 6. Of course it depends on severity but nappyaddicts DS is crawling, beginning to talk and communicate and can be calmed so he doesn't like there is necessarily a problem at all. I am however, no expert except as far as my own children go and a good general knowledge of child dev. from my studying so maybe I am wrong.

The best thing she can do is try not to worry and to keep an eye on her DS. Talk to the GP about a hearing test and tell him the concerns but it probably is just a case of wait and see. As yurt1 says he could yet get himself together and be fine.

To be fair, my HV was brilliant when it came to my concerns re DDs speech, it was more that she had stopped talking that prompted her to refer to peadiatricain. Everything is ok now though but it put my mind at rest.

Nappyaddict, i would definately go the GP, your health visitor should have referred you simply because you are worried. Like lots of people have said here, it will probably sort itself over time, but if there is a problem the sooner it is recognised and adressed the better for everyone.

Good luck

My HV was good with general child-related stuff but not so good with knowledge of SN. Some are good, others not so good.

I think it's worth asking for a referral to a Paed (once any hearing difficulties have been ruled out). The waiting lists are so long that you may find that you no longer need the appointment when it comes up and can just cancel it. OTOH if there are still problems then your ds will have been seen relatively quickly.

It may be harder to get a dx at a very young age but early intervention can still be started. My ds2 was given a provisional dx of ASD when he was 2. It was made official when he was 3. During that year he received help from the SALT, OT, Paed, Child Psych etc.

Another thing you could try is contacting your local portage service. Ours started working with ds1 before he was seen by a Paed, and their reports and observations of ds1 at home were helpful in getting a dx for him.

yurt when did your ds3 start to point??

oh at swimming they don't really have to listen to instructions-it's more parent led. ds is one of the oldest there the youngest is probably about 8 months so they don't expect them to follow instructions.

i try and play with him he's not interested - he just crawls off.

niecie
my son was diagnosed at 2 years old - in fact two years and 4 months.

.... and my son was perfect at walking ( before a year) , crawling, talking and pointing. It was still pretty obvious that something was going on.
I do take your point but I also get a little frustrated with the wait and see thing as it means time, valuable time, can be lost.
Mothers worry - of course they do. But mothers also tend to know when they are looking at something and it feels not quite so.
I would always press to see a GP or, if poss, a specialist because of that.

My son was diagnosed with ASD as he turned 3. I know quite a few children diagnosed that early & esrlier Crawled and walked within normal range. He could have been diagnosed earlier- we wasted a lot of time 'waiting and seeing'.

I should clarify my 'wait and see' extends to waiting until 18 months (because you have more ammo then to push for a referral). Give yourself 2 months & if your ds is like ds3 things will suddenly fall into place. But don't do what we did with ds1 and wait over a year (we were fobbed off). It's too painful & unecessary.

Haven't read all the posts but a lot of the behaviour your ds has is very similar to my ds who turned out to be hearing impaired. The only thing different from your list is that my ds did point though. And my ds had other behaviours mainly due to frustration, enormous violent tantrums, self-harming etc.
I would seek advice sooner rather than later if I were you..but that's because I've managed to bring up 2 deaf children without realising it (the second one had different problems - mainly speech delay), and I wish I had got help sooner for all our sakes.

if i go to the docs before 18 months will they give him a hearing test?

I can't remember my dc ever pointing at anything, and the oldest is now 13 (that's years not months). I suppose they must have done it but I probably wasn't paying attention.

yep- they'll do a hearing test- & always worth ruling out- ds1 was very difficult to assess hearing wise. I knew his hearing was fine as he could hear me open a cupboard from 2 rooms away - but it was hard to get him to face the right way etc. Eventually he was tested with special lighting up puppets in a posh room and he 'passed'. They also did the thing where they bounce a sound against the ear drum- again difficult to do- and he had slight hearing loss in one ear, but not enough to explain the problems.

Don't feel you have to wait until 18 months- I told my HV that I was getting ready to refer ds3 and I was happy to wait until 18 months but I would expect him to be referred on then if he didn't start pointing- you just have sightly more ammo after 18 months and can complain if they say 'wait and see'. It's harder to complain about that pre-18 months.

My point was we were told DD's problems would sort themselves out. We went privately and she is now fine and what was wrong would not have sorted itself out, and if we had waited until the NHS deemed there was something wrong, it would have been too late.

By all means wait and see if you want but some things just need seeing too a lot sooner.