Ridiculously clingy 3 year old!! urgent advice needed please

[sportyspice]

DD1 is so clingy it is really beginning to cause problems. She's been at her nursery school for quite some time but still cries every time i leave her even though she's always happy and tells me what a nice time she's had when i pick her up - it really is a 'hanging off the leg' situation everytime i leave her. Now that she is 3 i want her to be able to participate in ballet classes etc as loads more things open up to them at this age but every time i leave her she just screams and cries and gets so upset and it never gets any better with time or familiarity. I left her doing a class the other day for 30 mins and she cried the whole time and already she's crying again at the mention of going back. Even if i leave the house or she can't find me she gets ridiculously upset even if dh is there and it is totally out of proportion to the situation. All these things i've planned to get her involved in for her benefit just end up making me feel so bad yet in the back of my mind i know i can't just keep her at home with me 24/7 never leaving my side because how on earth will she cope when she starts school one day?! I know it's all part of natural development to become a bit more independent and start doing activities whereby i leave her and wait in another room until the class finishes but she is always the one i can hear screaming and going burserk. I just don't know what to do as it's really affecting our days, even if i leave her with dh to pop to Tesco or something for 30 mins the aggrevation it causes and the panic she expresses when i tell her i'm popping out is just so ott. This is a bit rambly i know but i would appreciate some advice on what to to. When she was younger and like this i thought she'd grow out of it but if anything it's getting worse.

[Kaz33]

My 3 year old is clingy, though not as bad as your daughter - he is still at home with mum so never had to deal with the whole leaving him somewhere scenario. He only gets left with family and babysitter. But if we go to a playgroup or a playground he will not happily amuse himself like other kids, if mum starts wondering off after DS2 then he will follow even though he knows I'm not going anywhere. He has got better recently, but I really have to be switched on to his needs ie: making sure I wave to him when he is on the slide on the other side of the playground, talking to him about what I am doing, loads of reassurance, loads of praise...

I know how frustrating it is and think you just have to be patient and go at her pace. You can't force her to enjoy things, maybe if you relax on the social life she will relax a bit. Personally I think it is tough for any 3 year old to be left on their own in an unfamiliar environment and she is already dealing with nursery ( quite well from what you say - other than the you leaving bit ).

[LissaQ]

Hi there, I don't know if this helps but my DS went through a very clingy stage at the beginning of the year, leg clinging at nursery, so bad I thought I was going to have to give up work! 9 months makes a lot of difference, he now goes to a 1 hour Gym class and swimming lessons unaccompanied every week and loves it. Though he still doesn't like me to go back and lock the front door whilst he's sitting in the car in case I go into the house - distance from car to front door 10 feet! So some things never change!