I feel guilty my 17 month old loves tv so much

(76 Posts)
Cupcakemummy85 Mon 17-Dec-12 22:28:28

I feel so guilty about this and don't have a go at me all at once lol but my dd loves watch tv. Mainly peppa pig and Ben and holly. I try and make sure we r out once a day but I'm 32 weeks pregn and starting to feel rather tired now. My friends say don't worry it's fine but I can't help feeling bad especially when my dd has a massive tantrum after I switch her programme off. It's not all day she watches it but a bit in the morning and afternoon. My dp puts her programmes on for her all the time, even when I ask him to play with her. I feel like I'm going to loose sleep over this. I've got so many things to worry about with her, not sleeping through, not eating too well and now telly addiction :s if I don't have it on she sits by the gate to the kitchen and screams whilst I'm making a coffee or something like that. This evening I even read her favourite book 20 times (litreally!!) so she wouldbt watch tv. Lol am I really doing a bad thing by letting her watch tv. Please tell me it's not that bad :/

Cupcakemummy85 Tue 18-Dec-12 13:33:38

It's difficult with having my dd in the kitchen as its brick floors and if she falls over that's a gauranteed head cracker!! But I could get my dp to try and baby proof it. She has broken a few things of mine in there as we have exposed shelves and its too dangerous. I need to get her in crafts. It would b so much easier as I love doing that sort of thing!

Indith Tue 18-Dec-12 13:39:56

Hard kitchen floor- get one of those foam mats that go together like a puzzle. Easy to pop down in teh kitchen when you need it, easy to wipe clean and great fun to be had with it in other rooms too. here

aprilrain Tue 18-Dec-12 13:43:40

I do think 17 months is too young to be interested in crafts (beyond eating paint and glue or smearing it in their hair!)

I think giving her pots, pans and plastic kitchen tools to play with near to you while you do the cooking is the best solution for now.

Cupcakemummy85 Tue 18-Dec-12 13:45:18

No he works from home but in the evenings when I cook dinner he sometimes watches her and I ask him to play but he says she doesn't want to and let's her watch tv. I dot have the energy to have a full blow row about it so I just try and make an extra effort to make sure she doesn't watch too much after dinner.
I don't feel too bad now though. I see a lot of mothers do the same as me smile we can't all have little angels that play by themselves whilst we cook and clean lol. And we can't all b Mother Earth and spend every second with our kids ;) I will try my hardest but I won't give myself too much of a hard time. Thanks you for all ur advise. I will defintely try the dough (I remember now my mum did homemade dough for me!) and I might be brave and try painting and gingerbread. As I need to make more anyway. I can't wait til she wants to bake, if I should say. As I'm a keen baker and want her to b my right hand man in the kitchen next Christmas lol

Cupcakemummy85 Tue 18-Dec-12 13:46:50

What a fab idea indith I'm going to go and purchase one of those. Thank you

ChristmasKnackers Tue 18-Dec-12 13:50:09

Dont feel bad! I have a 2.5 yr old and 14 week old, I couldn't survive the day without TV. Sometimes you need some down time too and childrens TV these days is mostly good quality. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Make sure you are chatting to your toddler about the TV he watches so he is being 'interactive' with it. Mine also plays on the iPad too when I need a cup of tea!!!

Indith Tue 18-Dec-12 13:51:41

Baking is fab smile Plus you get to eat the results! I see it as the perfect excuse to eat chocolate educational activity. Cookery, numbers (weighing stuff out), motor skills (cracking eggs, grating lemon rind, stirring), colours with icing plus you get to entertain them while making it, then again once it has cooled for decorating it. What's not to love?

I'd be giving your dp a kick up the bum though and telling him to play with his child. Do you have things like duplo or wooden blocks? That's what my dh loves to play with most with the kids. He never goes in for teasets and stuff but stick a bucket of duplo next to him and he is off building stuff for with them (well, lego now the big ones are older).

givemeaclue Tue 18-Dec-12 13:52:37

I think you do have a problem with your dh refusing to play with her and using the tv as a babysitter instead. Understand tired at end of the day but surely he amtad ad her a story or something before he puts the tv on

FunnysFuckingFreezing Tue 18-Dec-12 13:57:53

I wouldn't worry. Stop stressing about this. She is 17 months and likes TV, it's not the end of the world. She doesn't have a TV addiction and likely as not if you don't make a big deal she will soon get bored and want to do other things. My 2 DC who are nearly 3 and 7 have been allowed to watch whatever TV they like and as a consequence really will take it or leave it. They enjoy certain programmes but rarely ask to watch it and will do any number of other things instead.

Oh and 17 month old children mostly don't eat or sleep 'properly'. You really need to give yourself a break.

naturalbaby Tue 18-Dec-12 14:04:56

We have an open plan kitchen so have never been able to keep the kids out! we have a high chair in the kitchen so my toddler can sit with me to have a drink and snack while I'm busy, and they are allowed pretty much free reign in a couple of the cupboards which only have plastic things in.

Mine will sit at the table drawing and squishing play doh for ages, and I collected a bag of (clean) milk bottle tops then put them all in a big plastic bowl and gave them a couple of big spoons and cups to play with - and then the dust pan and brush to help tidy up when they've finished.

I have been pregnant with a toddler - twice, you do anything for an easy life!

RyleDup Tue 18-Dec-12 14:17:23

I'd turn it off if its not being watched, but other than that you're fine. Don't beat yourself up about it. I'm sure your child won't turn out to be a deviant for watching a bit of telly each day. Fwiw I did the same when I was pg with dc2. Dd learnt loads of good stuff from the tv. I was quite impressed grin

Bibs123 Tue 18-Dec-12 14:17:54

There is no evidence to say a bit of tv is bad. It does my head in when people ( mostly on mumsnet) tell you that letting your child watch ANY TV is the most terrible thing a parent can do, without anything to back this up. I would say as a parent you make the judgement call and act accordingly, i wouldn't listen to some of the know it all militant mums on here and trust that you know whays best for your child. I am sure a bit of tv is doing no harm. If you think she is watching too much do some jigsaws or read some more books or go to the park.

SleighbellsRingInYourLife Tue 18-Dec-12 14:31:25

Nobody said it was the worst thing a parent can do.

But it's not great.

And being pregnant is no reason to be a lazy parent to your toddler.

But sure, if you think an hour a day of completely passive, useless sitting and staring is harmless, then have at it.

ChunkyPickle Tue 18-Dec-12 14:40:47

YOu know that people said terrible things about children and books when they first became common too?

DS absolutely loves Abney and Teal, and he watches all sorts of ABC/kiddie songs videos on YouTube.

He can now sing his ABC (completely taught by the TV), knows more verses for the wheels on the bus than I knew existed, and often comes over and surprises me with other new things he's learned.

He also runs around like a nutter, plays cars ad infinitum, does crafty stuff at playgroup, helps me cook, 'reads' his books and magazines etc.

As part of a balanced diet there's nothing wrong with some TV in my opinion, in previous times kids had a much more boring, uneducational time of it.

SHoHoHodan Tue 18-Dec-12 15:04:12

Honestly, stop beating yourself up about it. Don't forget that small children soak up knowledge from all sorts of things, so it won't be 'passive staring' at a tv. They learn numbers, letters, colours, language - all kinds of stuff. Just because it looks like mindless drivel to us adults, doesn't mean that it is.

DS2 used to watch a fair amount of tv (he's 5 now) but now prefers to do crafts (thank you Mr Maker and Art Attack). His reading and numberwork levels are significantly higher than many of his peers and he is outgoing and sociable. TV is not the evil that many seem to think it is, really.

FunnysFuckingFreezing Tue 18-Dec-12 15:44:31

Sleighbells that was entirely uncalled for. Why is allowing your child to watch TV being a lazy parent? Children need down time as much as adults. IMO the best way for my boys to chill out is to sit and watch some TV, in much the same way as I do.

I really hate this attitude that allowing your child to watch TV somehow means you are being neglectful or lazy.

jellyandcake Tue 18-Dec-12 16:07:36

The other week I was ill with a tummy bug. 23month DS watched CBeebies literally all day. I felt really guilty! What annoys me is that I don't even know why I feel guilty - there doesn't seem to be compelling and convincing evidence that a moderate amount of tv is harmful (all day is obviously not moderate but that was unusual circumstances!). There is just all this anxiety attached to it so like you, OP, I feel worried when I put it on but don't feel like there is anything concrete to back that worry up. I think if you vary your activities over the day/week, read books, play games, chat and interact you are doing a good job. And I personally think having a bit of a break during late pregnancy is fine and not lazy at all!

DomesticGoddess31 Tue 18-Dec-12 18:56:51

Good god, I'm shock at how judgey some people can be about a bit of tv. I've watched tv every day for the whole of my life and I'm alright!

My DD is 18 months OP and she watches about the same amount as yours, it goes on for 10 mins while I have a shower in the morning(she's in her cot), while she eats her snack in the afternoon so she sits still and doesn't trapse food everywhere, and she has cloudbabies or similar just before bed. If she's up at silly o clock I might stick it on for a bit while I get myself a caffeine injection. 30 mins to 1 hour tops.

I'm currently a SAHM and my DD is not interested in crafty stuff yet either. I do leave paper and crayons out for her which she likes to tip everywhere and eat. Its SO hard to fill day after day with a toddler who isn't yet into all that stuff and just wants to cling to your leg all day. Oh, and mine is still not sleeping through either [sob].

Cupcakemummy85 Wed 19-Dec-12 15:13:27

I'm glad to hear my dd isn't the only one that doesn't take an interest in crafts. I tried drawing peppa pig but she just ate the crayon. And when I say ate it she really did eat it!! Lol everything has to b in her mouth at the moment or smooshed into her hair lol. I will keep trying with crafts.
I think sleighbells u r being very harsh on all of us who let our children watch tv and perhaps u r from a different generation to me but I think no tv at all is really extreme and unrealistic. U haven't seen the things my dd and I do together and my circumstances, surroundings etc. I do feel u r a little to quick to judge. I would never be that harsh to friends never mind complete strangers!
I think many of u r right, we should give ourselves a break and enjoy watching a bit of light hearted cartoons. Especially when the weather is as bad as this!!!! sad

Mamarunner Wed 19-Dec-12 16:19:59

This is really difficult. I am having the same worries about my 2 year old. DH showed him some of the Disney Pixar DVDs and now all he wants to do is watch those. If it was just him I would just turn it off and distract him with something else, but I also have a 3 month old baby who just wants to feed and be comforted all the time which makes it impossible to always be able to sit down and play with DS1 enough to distract him from wanting the tv on.

At the moment I'm trying not worry about it as we generally go out and do an activity most days and as DS2 gets older he will change and we'll be able to get out and do more, and therefore get away from the tv.

naturalbaby Wed 19-Dec-12 22:12:22

sleighbells obviously has no idea what it's like to be heavily pregnant, exhausted and to have a toddler to look after. At least the toddler isn't strapped into the buggy in front of the t.v with a packet of crisps and a bottle of coke for company.

RyleDup Wed 19-Dec-12 22:17:59

Nowt wrong with a packet of crisps and a bottle of coke Naturalbaby. grin

naturalbaby Wed 19-Dec-12 22:24:52

exactly, so long as they're organic. grin

RyleDup Wed 19-Dec-12 23:07:03

And I just had to google it. You actually can get organic cola. I've learnt something new!!

ZuleikaD Thu 20-Dec-12 06:36:35

I am heavily pregnant with two toddlers and we still don't have tv.

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