6 year old cries about EVERYTHING and I am at wit's end

(11 Posts)
Tgger Tue 04-Dec-12 20:42:14

And yes, the tiredness certainly contributes a lot. DD (just 4) had lots of tears over silly things today. I tend to just ignore them and they pass grin.

Tgger Tue 04-Dec-12 20:41:10

What do you do when he cries? Obviously if he hurts himself you give him attention, but if it's something ridiculous do you tell him it's ridiculous? DS seems through this now (on a good day), also 6, but I think we would do something like acknowledge the feeling, re-classify his upset as minor rather than major, ask him to stop crying, if not then tell him he'd have to go and carry on in his room- normally enough for him to stop. Sometimes I would ask if he wanted to chat about it, to check there wasn't something else upsetting him, but normally you can tell if your DC is out of sorts because something has upset them and they need to talk, or if they are being ridiculous.

iseenodust Tue 04-Dec-12 16:39:50

All these things seem to get worse when the DC are very tired. It's been two long half-terms and all the excitment at school in the run up to Xmas has started.

BeaWheesht Tue 04-Dec-12 16:28:53

Ds is almost 6 and is sometimes like this - in fact he's just been crying because it is the 4th and not 5th of December. Last memorable one was a few weeks ago when out for a walk and feeding the squirrels and said squirrel ate the nut his sister threw and not the one he threw.

CailinDana Tue 04-Dec-12 16:22:20

Oh and don't shout or project negative ideas about his personality - it may be annoying but he's only 6 and doesn't deserve to be frightened or put down. There are things about everybody that we don't particularly like but that's no excuse to treat them badly.

CailinDana Tue 04-Dec-12 16:20:36

I agree, just ignore. Ask once if he is ok, then tell him you're going to do other things while he has a little cry and to come and talk to you when he's done. He'll grow out of it eventually - do you see many 20 year old men bursting into tears when they drop cake on the floor? It's just one of those annoying stages children go through, don't make a big deal about it and it'll eventually stop.

Journey Tue 04-Dec-12 13:38:33

I'd send him to his room the next time he cried. Tell him he can either stop crying or if he wants to continue crying he can do it in his room. There is absolutely no way I would give my dcs any attention for behaving like that at age 6.

When he had calmed down I would ask him what he could of done differently. For instance, he could of just asked for another piece of cake when he dropped the cake he was eating. When his Lego fell down tell him he could of shouted "crash" and laughed.

I think he needs a little help with coping strategies.

boredtotears Tue 04-Dec-12 11:36:18

There is a chance that by cuddles you could prolong it. I know just how hard it is to ignore one of your kids, When our little boy (He has always been sensitive - hubby says he is a mummy's boy, but he is just sensitive) first started doing it, I cuddled him everytime & it made it so much worse, he done it more & more. And yes, the first few times I had to ignore him I had to go into the kitchen and I stood there and I howled, (I'm nearly in tears now just remembering!) ignoring a child while its howling is horrible but in the long term it may be worth a try.

DippyMummy Tue 04-Dec-12 11:28:00

Thank you, Boredtotears. Glad someone else has been going through this too! I might try the ignoring trick - but I wonder if it might make things even worse as this isn't (I am fairly sure) an attention-seeking thing. I don't think he is actually trying to "achieve something" by crying. It seems to be a genuine inability to deal with life's little ups and downs. Though maybe if we ignore him then this will help him realise that his "tragedies" are in fact quite trivial..? I just don't know whether that the way to do it, or whether it's best to go back to giving him all the comfort and cuddles that he seems to need ("mollycoddling" as the grandparents call it, of course!)

boredtotears Tue 04-Dec-12 11:12:34

I do sympathise, Our 8yr old daughter went through it & now our 5yr old boy has been doing it for about 6mths. The main thing to remember is that you are NOT a failing parent - Nobody is perfect!

With our son, who would stand & howl just for dropping a cake on the floor etc.. what we would think of as silly things, we tried being nice, telling him off & then progressed to putting him in his room until he had finished. None of this worked. What we have been doing for the last 6-8 weeks is ignoring him. Totally. Walk around him, don't look at him, just pretend that he isn't there, even if the wailing & howling turns into a full blown paddy. Keep within earshot just incase of an outburst, but don't let him know you are keeping an eye on him. Like I said, we have only been trying this for 6-8 weeks, but it is starting to make a difference, he dosen't do it half as much now. But if you try this, you must stick with it once you start so that he knows it wont achieve anything.
Good luck!

DippyMummy Tue 04-Dec-12 11:00:40

My 6 year old boy is a very bright child, seems popular at school, doing well in class, and doesn't seem to have any particular worries (I have asked). He's an only child (so gets bags of attention), but enjoys having friends round to play, and also has lots of confidence in the company of adults. HOWEVER he bursts into tears at the slightest little thing. He always has done I suppose, but now that he is six, and a "big boy", it just seems way over the top. Last night he howled because his apple fell on the floor. The night before he howled because I told him it was time to get out of the bath. The other day he burst into tears of rage because I told him to go to the loo before tea. This morning he bawled his head off because a brick tower he was building fell down. He will cry if he tastes something he doesn't like. He'll cry if he hears music that he doesn't like. And this isn't just a little temper-tantrum thing, he cries and cries, inconsolably, as if this is the worst thing that ever happened to him. It's just really awful open-flood-gates uncontrolled emotion. Just recently I have started getting cross with him when he cries, in the hope that telling him off will bring him to his senses. I try to explain that his reaction isn't appropriate, the people will think he's a baby, etc. (He'll do it when he has friends round to play too - they always seem quite taken aback by his extreme reactions). But I realise this probably isn't the best way to handle it - it's usually just me off-loading my own irritation/anger/shame/frustration at his behaviour. My DP has also started responding to DS this way, but he REALLY gets angry, shouts at DS, issues "time out" punishments, etc. I do accept that shouting at DS is not going to stop the crying business, but we have been trying to handle it for years now (at first with lots of cuddles and sympathy) and it's just not getting any better - the shouting has started because my DP and I feel that we can't stand it any more, and we're also coping with guilt of course - guilt about shouting, and also wondering where we've gone wrong and why our son is such a "baby" compared with other boys his age. The thing is, when he's NOT crying, he is as I said a really easy-going bright confident little boy, very creative, inquisitive and apparently happy. Anyone else got a similar problem, or any good strategies? Really feel like a failing parent at the mo. sad

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