Mumsnet Talk

I'm delighted that my daughter and son in law are expecting their first baby in August - as are my 2 granddaughters aged 4 and 8. But for some reason it will will to me that the 8 year old will come asking exactly how it got into Mummy's tummy. What do I tell her? She is very fond of her step dad - I really don't want to put her off him in anyway but I don't want to lie. We have already done the whole giving birth thing but that was easy in comparison. I would welcome any advive particularly from those whose new baby has a diifferent father from their elder siblings.

My DD was only 18 months when DS was born (is 4 now) but she did ask how he got there later. She already knew he'd grown in my tummy from a "tiny seed and a tiny egg" and the "daddy gave mummy the seed" line has been sufficient up to now. When she wants more detail I'll tell give her the "special cuddle" line. Drip feeding is good here. She knows I have periods because my body builds a nest for the egg in case I want to grow a baby: nest needs to be cleaned away when I have decided not to make a baby.

Saying I'll explain when she's older works if she asks too much, TBH she hardly ever does.

How much she already know and her parents' wishes are Very Important factors. How did you explain with your own DC?

Bump

Brilliant answer about special cuddles. I wondered about that myself. Watching with interest.

Can't remmeber what i told my own daughter and neither can she - too long ago! All i know now that she would be delighted for me to take care of this and thinks it's very funny that her daughter comes to me for answers! The tiny seed and tiny egg is fine for wee ones but i think an 8 year old needs the whole story - i think the 'special cuddle' line is creepy. I think we'll have to go find some books. Anyone any advice on literature? The annoying thing is that she proabably knows the whole story already and will just be teasing me - in fact i have a sneaking suspision that's what my daughter thinks and they are all winding me up. Most unkind i think

I had this book how a baby is made I had it when i was young say3 or 4. t is clear honest and uses the right words eg penis and vagina. i am hoping my mum still has it so i can use it with my son.

I just bought 'mummy laid an egg' by Babette Cole after seeing someone else recommend it on here for my 5 year old.

I told mine the truth when it came up. Obviously in language they could understand. They totally accepted it and said no more about it. I knew my kids wouldn't be pacified with 'special cuddles'etc. It would just lead to more questions and I'd end up telling them the details anyway. I do totally understand that what you say has to be appropriate to the child and their age. I think an 8yr old is old enough to hear the basics of sex. It won't be long and he'll be hearing all about it in school.

Surely this is something that her mum needs to decide how to deal with, rather than you? There's your get-out-clause

At 8? Tell the truth. Too old for "special cuddles"! She should know already, in my (not very) humble opinion.

I agree, at 8 it is really time that she knew the basic facts about this.