Mumsnet Talk

DS has always been a lovely little boy. kind, considerate and polite. however, he has been misbehaving lately. he has been ungrateful when given treats. throwing temper tantrums, he is disruptive at school (we moved house last may) and his schoolwork has taken a proper nosedive.

today he went to his best friends birthday party and we had to leave early because he was so badly behaved. he was rude, wouldnt sit down to eat, threw a tantrum when he didnt win musical statues and I was thoroughly ashamed.

I have confiscated his wii and ds for at least a week, I also sent him to bed early, but i am worried about him. we are testing him for dyspraxia for issues at school (handwriting/motor skills/speech) but I dont know whether to cut him some slack or be firmer with him.

In hindsight, we probably have pandered to him a bit, but this behaviour is a new thing. is it normal?

.

bump

Hi, I did a post on Sunday about my ds... If I could link it I would but don't know how. He is almost 7 and also can be hard work. He strips if he doesn't get his own way, can be rude, cheeky, too rough with little sister etc. I dint know the answer but we had a particularly bad weekend with him and have been quite tough on him the last couple of days and it has helped. Good luck... Will watch the thread with interest.

Thank you. We've not really had to punish him before, he's always been so well-behaved. But just lately its as if he's a stranger!

Thank you. We've not really had to punish him before, he's always been so well-behaved. But just lately its as if he's a stranger!

My 8 yr old daughter has suddenly become super sensitive. She has always been a little sensitive, but not to the extreme she is now. She cries at anything and is even frightened of the songs (some sad themes) they are practising in the school play. I too was sensitive and neurotic as a child and want to support her through this. I'd like her to be less sensitive and I'm trying to explain things factually (she's currently fixated with reincarnation and death). I became a morbid teenager, and I don't want her to be the same (If I can have any influence that is). Any ideas why she is acting 'hormonal' (there is no sign of early period)? What can I do to help her?

I did wonder if it was hormonal. I dont know what to do though. do I ignore?

It sounds like there's a lot of stuff going on in there .

You really have to figure out your own kid. Is he unhappy? How are things at school, especially if you moved? Is he out of certain friendship groups he would like to be in? How are things at home between you and his Dad? Anything that may be getting to him?

My ds1 gets truly awful when he is feeling rubbish. He is 6. The other day he was behaving badly, was winding his Dad up, his Dad started getting angry with him. I intervened and took him out of the room. I gave him a big hug, told him he's a really special boy, I love him etc. He started crying and crying, saying he's not special, he's rubbish and then stuff came out about school, I just kept cuddling and telling him lovely things. Then we had breakfast together and he sat on my lap. The rest of the morning he was an ANGEL. He was totally obedient, helped his little bro and sis with their shoes, washed up the breakfast dishes - without any asking. He was just amazing.

But that's my ds1. I know when he's going off the rails that he's feeling bad about himself. It makes it twice as hard to love him, but that's really what he needs. I was the same. The worse I felt about me, the more I tried to prove I was unlovable. I needed someone to break my cycles. Not saying this is your ds. But it may be worth trying out, and seeing if there's anything going on.

Oh, just to add. Discipline when ds is like this makes him worse. If it helps, then perhaps it's what he needs. If it makes him kick off MORE then maybe it's feeding the problem.

He is incredibly frustrated with all the stuff that's happening at school, and while he is popular and has a lovely relationship with his best friend, he is v immature (one of the reasons we are getting him tested) I have always responded the way youy describe to his tantrums, but that doesn't seem to be working now and he is pushing his luck/boundaries to excess. I am losing my temper with him, which I rarely do.

He is incredibly frustrated with all the stuff that's happening at school, and while he is popular and has a lovely relationship with his best friend, he is v immature (one of the reasons we are getting him tested) I have always responded the way youy describe to his tantrums, but that doesn't seem to be working now and he is pushing his luck/boundaries to excess. I am losing my temper with him, which I rarely do.

My ds1 is very immature too, but has been behind since Nursery...I am in primary ed on Dyspraxia thread myself! Sounds like he's really frustrated if he's falling behind, and feeling bad about it. Is there a way he can 'vent' his frustration? Does he talk to you about it regularly? Yes, discipline and lots of talking to show you do understand and care, but that he needs self control and boundaries even when he is angry and upset.

I do think he is frustrated by it. He is very clever, but gets carried away and is starting to be disruptive in class, which isn't him at all. He desperately wants to start playing rugby, we have told him that once his behaviour starts to improve we will take him, but at the moment, I don't think he can cope with something so physical iykwim.

It may help him, get some of that aggression out! Maybe he is just bursting...let him go and see if it helps.

lissielou- could have written your post my ds 6.6 (diagnosed with dyspraxia due poor fine motor skills last year) is really pushing things - I think it is a combination of tiredness and frustration... I'm trying constant boundaries- like a toddler as his level of tantrums and tears is so high, but also trying to find something that builds his self esteem outside of school- we are trying drama which he seems to enjoy...not too sure about the rugby I did think of it for ds as some of his friends go.... but his catching is so bad thought it might make things worse the other thing I'm going to try is trampolining and/or cubs when he's 7 ...hth

thank you, he has been much better behaved this week and has been making a real effort at school. he asked again about rugby, so dh is picking up a ball tomorrow and taking him over to the field to practice catching.

He gets so upset though, and is convinced that he is "stupid". it breaks my heart.

what age was DS diagnosed?

It was jan/feb last year his yr1 teacher suggested it was something more than immaturity/summehttp://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/1400951-nearly-7yo-DS-unrecognisable-at-the-momentr born/left handedness and we got a letter from the school SENCO (Special educational needs co-ordinator) to our GP who did the referral to the Occupational therapy team, as they do the diagnosis- so he was about 6
that bit took a couple of months then we had to wait 3-4months for a course of 4 sessions with an OT - we now get a review every 4months or so thats it...

we do have activities from the OT to do with him but it can be tough fitting them in as he finds them hard so more tears and 'stupid' which is heart breaking as he is definately not we talk about how different people have different skills.....

He can read well and is very articulate - but I also had him checked out for any eye issues by a behavioural optometrist as recommended on mn as that can also be a factor for some.....http://www.babo.co.uk/

The school put him on school action so he gets one session a week with a TA on fine motor skills...and therefore gets reviewed....his target for the year (yr2 ) is to be able to write a legible sentence with a capital letter at the beginning and spaces between the words and a full stop..

That sounds so much like ds. He had a spelling test today, and he knew every word. But it was illegible. No spaces or capital letters (even in his name ffs) and while he spelt them orally perfectly, he could only get 2 right because you couldn't read the others.

That sounds so much like ds. He had a spelling test today, and he knew every word. But it was illegible. No spaces or capital letters (even in his name ffs) and while he spelt them orally perfectly, he could only get 2 right because you couldn't read the others.

My 7 1/2 yr on DS2 has dyspraxia. Diagnosed at about 3 1/2. It affected his speech as well as his fine motor skills, so he has has issues with communication, socialisation skills and writing. He has struggled since starting school (also had a move of schools almost 2 years ago) BUT this year - in fact really over the last two months - he has come on in leaps and bounds. We had one of our termly meetings with his teacher and SENCO this morning to update his IEP and they were basically saying that he is a changed boy! Communicating well (will even stand up and talk in front of the class now), has lots of friends and now has pretty much legible handwriting. I'm not telling you this to show off, but to hopefully give some light at the end of the tunnel. I think a large part of his change has been due to him maturing. He/ we obviuosly still have hurdles to get over, but its great to see some improvement. BTW, his behaviour when he got (still gets) frustrated has been terrible at times.
So, no advise as such but lots of well wishing and hopefullly as your son gets older you will see similar chnages

has he been tested for allergies? i have heard of some kids reacting in such ways as a response to something they were allergic to, I know it sounds rather weird but you should check it.