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22mth old DD started waking screaming at 5am

17 replies

MonkeyMargot · 20/09/2010 21:28

Hoping I can get some good advice here. My 22month old DD, who has always been a brilliant sleeper, has recently started waking very early (between 5/ 5:30am) screaming. Previously she slept until 6:15/6:45am and woke up happy, chatting to her toys etc.
This started 2 weeks ago when we went on holiday to France, and DD had to share a room with our 12 week old twin boys. (They actually sleep through until 7am, but I think their snuffling may have woken her when she comes into a light sleep at around 5am, and then she just refuses to go back down).
I hoped this would resolve itself once home, but she keeps waking at 5.15am screaming. Have tried leaving her to cry, but she refuses to go back to sleep. If she was waking up happy at this time I would be less concerned.
She has one daytime nap after lunch - used to be 1-3pm but recently this has shrunk to around 1 hour. She has also started waking from her daytime nap screaming and unhappy. She goes to bed at aroun 7:15/7:30pm.
There are some teeth coming through but incisors not molars.
Any advice very welcome. It isn't that I am unwilling to get up early - it's more that I feel DD isn't getting enough sleep.

OP posts:
TicTac · 20/09/2010 22:28

Hi, I'm not sure I can help but I thought I would offer support. Your dd is going through a lot of changes while rapidly growing and developing herself. I think the key is to be consistent and don't switch to a new plan daily! Also keep her bed routine tight and don't let her go to bed later then usual as this usually has the adverse effect!

I have a 4.5 yr old who was a good sleeper from 10 weeks but she also switched to early distressed get ups but I think we got through it after a few weeks. Good luck. X

MonkeyMargot · 21/09/2010 06:45

thanks TicTac. I agree there's a lot going on in a toddler's world - exciting new words to learn every day and so on.

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Ineedsomesleep · 21/09/2010 07:00

Would she go back to sleep for you if she had some milk?

MonkeyMargot · 21/09/2010 08:09

Ineedsomesleep she doesn't drink milk at all actually as she isn't keen on it.
This morning was better - she woke at 5:50am and although whimpering wasn't full-on screaming. I went in and explained it was still nighttime and then went back in at 6:15am. She didn't scream just moaned a bit.
I'm hoping this is a step in the right direction...

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chitchat09 · 21/09/2010 10:13

Sometimes a nappy change a little bit earlier than this wake up time, and rubbing some teething gel may avoid this, it has with my DS2. Some children suffer more with teething than others. My 2 suffered, on and off, not constantly. It mustn't be nice to wake up with a nappy that doesn't feel comfortable, and gums that hurt - not easy to settle back down!!!

MonkeyMargot · 23/09/2010 13:39

thanks Chit-chat. Do you mean I should go in and wake her before the usual 5:15am wakeup time, and change her/give her gel? Today she woke at 5:15am, I went in at 5:25am and changed her/ gave her gel, and then left until 6:10am. She cried constantly and didn't settle. Then spent the morning being really grumpy and saying she wanted to go to bed. Aghh...!

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madamefreckle · 23/09/2010 16:55

Hello! The fact that the earlier waking has coincided with a reduction in her afternoon nap makes me think that perhaps she would sleep longer at night if you could try to extend her lunch time nap again. I've always felt that the more they sleep, the more they sleep...if you see what I mean Hmm. So even if DS ended up have a 2 1/2 hour nap in the afternoon when he was 3 years old, I could be sure that he would sleep well at night. However, if he didn't nap well, then night time would be more unsettled. This, however, doesn't solve your problem if she just wakes up early from her nap and won't go back to sleep does it?

By the sound of it, teething might well be playing a part. Now I think about it, I remember DS going through a bad sleep phase at that age so you might just have to ride it out. If it was me, I might just give some teething granules, then let her come into bed with us and tell her she has to go back to sleep or I'd take her back to her room. We definitely did this for a while with DS, and he eventually got over it!

Keep us updated! Good luck.

MonkeyMargot · 24/09/2010 06:50

DD woke at 5:05am today, even earlier than normal. I tried the Gro-clock last night but it hasn't worked unfortunately.
Today I left her for 15 mins, then went in to change nappy and give her teething gel and left her til 6am. She just cried continually and won't settle.
At 6am I tried bringing her into my bed for a snooze but to no avail, so now we are downstairs until I feed the DTs at 7am.

She has never had a phase of waking this early before. And she is still going down for both daytime and nightime sleeps very happily, chitchatting as normal, and asleep very quickly.

MadameF I can't seem to fix her daytime nap - she has an hour and then wakes sobbing. It then takes her at least half an hour to stop lying on the floor crying.

I don't want to keep trying new things every day. Not sure if I'm better just leaving her to cry without going in, or doing the nappy change/teething gel and then leaving her to cry for a bit. either way, she isn't going back to sleep....and then she is really grumpy and complains mid-morning she wants to go to bed.

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crumpetsolo · 24/09/2010 07:19

Not sure I can help, but just to reassure you someone else has the same problem. The waking up inconsolable from afternoon nap and in the morning is horrible isn't it? DS is 23 months and will wake up between 5.30 and 6.30 (yay) am. If I try and get him to sleep again if he wakes up at 5.30 it's met with even louder screaming. Might be teeth, but there doesn't seem to be much that makes any difference. He just wants to come downstairs and have breakfast. Won't come into our bed, or stay in his own.

I've found he's generally in a better mood if I catch him JUST as he wakes up from his afternoon nap and let him wake up gently, tickle his feet etc. This usually avoids the half hour of screaming on the floor.

Good luck, I hope things sort themselves out.

chitchat09 · 24/09/2010 17:07

MonkeyMargot - no, don't wake her. Change her in her bed. She might half wake, but hopefully not completely if you keep lights very, very low (or use a torch). Try to put her in pyjamas that are easy to get into without moving her too much. I make sure my DS has his cuddle blanket in his hands as I change him, then I very gently stroke his head, as he settles back down into a deep sleep.

jammietart · 24/09/2010 17:54

My DD started to do this when we moved house. Unfortunately that was 4 months ago and she is still doing it. I think the screaming is because she has woken up too early and too quickly and is still tried and feels sleepy but is awake and can't go back off. It could be the room sharing and an environment she isn't used to that started for your DD but hopefully she will settle down over the next week or so. I sympathise with the mid morning tiredness - I have to give DD a 10 min nap mid morning if she wakes pre 6am.

All the advice I have been given is to leave her to cry until either it is a sensible time to get up or she has fallen back to sleep. What we actually do is take it in turns to get up with her to allow DH (or me) and my DS who is 5 to get another hours sleep. We have had some success with rubbing her back until she falls asleep again.

Hope she starts to improve.

jammietart · 24/09/2010 17:56

DD is 22 months which is what prompted me to post as I realise I haven't given you any advice at all! But like you say 22 month olds are a tricky business.

MonkeyMargot · 26/09/2010 08:30

Thanks jammietart and crumpetsolo.
Yesterday DD woke at 4:40am (makes me think it might be teeth?) but went back to sleep til 5:25am. She then said she wanted to go to bed mid-morning, but I was keen to stick to her normal routine, so kept her up til 1pm (she was literally nodding off over lunch at midday but then revived). However she then got very distressed at being put down for her nap (this is following her second settling in session at nursery) and for the second day on the trot refused to have a lunchtime nap at all.
So made decision to put her to bed early last night and she fell straight to sleep at 6:20pm.
However she woke at 3:05am this morning and just would not go back to sleep......what next?
I also need to move her into her new toddler bed in the next month as need her cot for the twins.

OP posts:
Flowergarden1 · 26/09/2010 20:26

I found a protein snack (piece of cheese, bit of yogurt etc) immediately before nap usually prevented DS waking up crying and distressed and often increased length of nap (protein leaves you feeling fuller for longer).

Impala · 27/09/2010 14:52

Hi Monkey,
My 22 month-old DD occasionally screams on waking up from her nap and I agree with jammietart that it is usually because she has woken up too early or quickly. We also had a month or so of early wakings too which was hard work! And I don't have twins...
Have you tried putting her down to nap mid-morning and seeing what happens? I know you want to stick to her usual routine and I guess with your twins as well you want to have as manageable a routine as possible for everybody, but since my DD dropped her morning nap a few months ago she's been having her main nap of the day anytime between 10am (if we're driving somewhere say) and 1pm and she usually sleeps for at least 1h15 minutes, but normally longer. I prefer her to nap after lunch if at all possible, but at least once a week she has an earlier nap if she's very tired for some reason. If she has had an early nap I then put her to bed a bit earlier in the evening and I've found it has no bearing on her wake-up time the next morning. It also seems to be enough to keep her going for the rest of the day. Could it be worth a try? I know you say you don't want to keep trying new things every day, but it could help.
You also said that she's starting at nursery - will she be staying a full day there and having a nap? It will be interesting for you to see how she gets on. My DD actually seems to sleep better at nursery than she does at home and only wakes up screaming very rarely and only once has she needed to be put down for her nap earlier than scheduled since moving up from the baby room (they all go to sleep at 12.00 after lunch in her room). If she naps well at nursery then it will hopefully continue at home.
It could also be linked to development, as you say, there is a lot going on at this age. My DD often wakes up first thing in the morning repeating all her latest words so there's a lot going on for them.
Fingers crossed things improve soon for you.

MonkeyMargot · 27/09/2010 21:18

Hi Impala. DD had her first full day at nursery today, and like at yours, they all sleep on mats on the floor. I anticipated she wouldn't sleep at all - but au contraire, she managed 45 minutes. Totally shocked!
This morning she woke at 5:45am and happy so an improvement.
Thanks for the tips on napping. I think next time she is dog-tired mid-morning and complaining she is tired, I will put her to bed there and then.
I feel as though this is a battle of her will - to assert her toddler-authority on us.
Hey - since your DD is also 22 months, how come we never met on the Nov 2008 antenatal thread? It's still going strong!

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chocolategal · 28/09/2010 14:25

Hi monkey
As you know my DS is also 22 months, he's never been the best sleeper but is getting better.
We went through these early crying wakenings a few weeks ago.
I would lift him out of cot, he'd scream to go back in. When he was back in he'd want out again! He was so frustrated and tired and I had no idea what he was wanting.
We took the sides off his cot and this really helped, no idea why as he doesn't climb out of cot but I think because he knows he can he is happier being in it if that makes any sense!?
So maybe putting DD in her toddler bed might not be as bad as you think.

Also on the early wakenings days I let him have his nap earlier, normally 11ish then give him his lunch at 1 when he woke up.

Hope you can get something that works for you.
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