Can I correct my friend's spelling of my son's name after 6 years?

(16 Posts)
JojoMags Sat 18-May-13 20:29:09

My DS1 is called Wilf and is nearly six. My friend has known him all his life. Although she pronounces Wilf's name correctly, she always spells it 'Whif', which is so awful! In the early days we lived next door to each other and she hardly ever needed to write it. Also, I knew her less well then and didn't want to embarass her or seem rude by pointing out the mistake. We have now moved apart and write or email regularly and her referring to him as 'Whif', albeit accidentally, really bugs me (I'm honestly trying to see the funny side).

My friend's spelling is generally bad (I say this as one who loves her!). I know she left school early and is sensitive about it, and I suspect she is dyslexic. I still don't want to embarass/patronise her by pointing out her mistake, but she is the rare type of friend who I hope will be lifelong and I may be in for a lifetime of grinding my teeth at the 'Whifs' . Do I say something or let it go?

ChippingInIsMissingHerLatte Sat 18-May-13 20:32:03

Why not just say to her 'Now that DS is 6 and can write his own name we need to be consistent with it as he gets confused... he spells it Wilf, so it would be great if you could help us with this'.

Does it matter? When you email back to her do you spell it correctly? If you do and she still hasn't picked up on it then she probably genuinely doesn't notice the difference so pointing it out to her will only embarrass her and wont help her to get it right in the future anyway.....so she will probably just stop mentioning him or contacting you at all......and that would be sad if she is a good friend.

shallweshop Sat 18-May-13 21:04:46

I really don't think this is worth mentioning. Obviously you always spell it correctly in your emails - she hasn't picked up on it - don't stress. My friend always spells DH's name in a v bizarre way but we just let laugh and let it go.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Sat 18-May-13 21:06:25

I gave up with people spelling my name wrong. Its a constant battle, so I'm just happy when they start it with the right letter.

It's not even that hard to spell!

lollypopsicle Sat 18-May-13 21:14:07

If, as you say, you suspect she is dyslexic then pointing it out is not going to be very helpful. She's obviously not doing it to upset you. Think you have to let this one go and accept she is a special friend with a unique affectionate name for your DS (whether she realises this or not)

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper Sat 18-May-13 21:34:32

I would rise above it for the sake of the bigger picture.

I'm 39 and have had a lifetime of people misspelling my name. DD's Godparents mispronounce her name!

My neighbours think my son is called Greg - that's not his name. I always put the correct one on Christmas Cards but they still think he is called Greg.....we just laugh about it.

JojoMags Sat 18-May-13 22:01:49

Soontobe - that's funny grin. We have a similar problem with Wilf. Another friend always calls him Will. It's an understandable mistake but have actually pointed out a couple of times that it isWilf, signed it as such on cards and emphasise the 'f' when talking to them, but to no avail. We gave our subsequent children totally unambiguous names that no-one could get wrong!

Thank you for all the good advice. Am already letting go of the irritation!

I think it's an accent thing - they also think my younger son is called Kia but sometimes they spell it Kea.......the first time we met them and introduced the boys, they said "oh, like the shop?" - i think they mean Ikea grin we still laugh!!

I know they don't do it to annoy anyone and i am sure your friend is the same. It can be a wee story to use to embarrass Whiffy as he gets older grin

StellaNova Sun 19-May-13 00:05:06

I have a friend who always spells my son's name Jaime, although I always write it on cards to her children as Jamie. I don't really mind, but I suppose in that case it is at least pronounced the same

twentyfourcarat Thu 23-May-13 01:35:17

I think dyslexia and or predictive text may be a fault here. I really wouldn't stress. If he's every bothered by it he can say something, just make sure you don't ask for a personalised T-shirt or something from her for him!

Startail Thu 23-May-13 01:56:43

Being dyslexic I can see her problem.
Whif and Wilf both put lots of long straight lines next to each other, the shape looks sort of right.

DD1 took for ever to sort out l&i, "is that the one with or without the dot was a frequent question.

Do you correct her, I don't know, I'd go pink for 30 seconds then laugh, but I'm not very embarrassed by my crap spelling.

It's hard to know isn't it? I was that friend - I was working abroad when my best friend had her 1st child and we didn't see a lot of them for years. I somehow in my mind got his birth year wrong by 1 but always sent the child number birthday cards. It was only years later that it came out as being the family's inside joke. I was quite upset that they hadn't said anything - I thought we were good enough friends for something to have been said.

But the pps insight about dyslexia is probably more relevant.

squiddle Fri 24-May-13 09:26:50

My grandma always spells my dd2's name with an extra -e. she comments on it now but gran is 90 so I wouldn't correct her. I wouldn't correct someone with dyslexia either - and whif is kind of funny.

Yika Fri 24-May-13 22:11:23

I might say sonething like, 'it's very cute the way you spell it, it's actually W.i.l.f., but I kind of like Whif, it makes me smile,' in an attempt to draw
attention to it without criticising or pressurising in case she continued with Whif.

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