Worth causing a ruckus over?

(45 Posts)
CheerfulYank Tue 29-Jan-13 06:52:33

I'm due in May and would like to use the middle name Rose.

I think it would be nice for a spring baby, and also my grandfather (who died about seven years ago) loved roses and grew them until he was very ill. He used to leave them on my grandmother's grave when he went to visit her, and when I would call him and ask what he was up too, he'd often say, "oh, just watering m'flowers!"

I really, really loved him. I mean, most of us love our grandfathers of course smile, but he was honestly one of my favorite people on earth, and I miss him so much. So I'd really like to use Rose in the middle in honor of him, plus it goes well with the girls' name (Margaret) we're semi-settled on.

HOWEVER. It is my aunt's name. She's my mother's sister (the grandfather I'm speaking of was their father). She and my mother do not get along AT ALL. They're currently not speaking, which is preferable honestly. They fight bitterly when they do talk.

I haven't seen her since my wedding six and a half years ago. She lives a thousand miles away and though we are pleasant on FB etc, we aren't really close. And I feel like "Rose" is not such a unique name that it will seem like I've named the baby after her.

However, my mother has told me categorically not to use it before. She has somewhat of a bonkers controlling personality. She also desperately wanted to name a puppy "Rosie" once but couldn't bring herself to do it, despite the fact that my aunt a)is NEVER called Rosie and B) would never know my mom had named the dog that!

So...worth it, or not??

LadyMargolotta Tue 29-Jan-13 13:47:34

I think you should call her Margaret Frieda Rose.

Or look at other flowery names - Flora, Blossom.

MolotovCocktail Tue 29-Jan-13 13:48:37

Just checked out Nameberry and it says that Fred is a diminutive of Frederick, which means 'peaceful ruler'. Maybe find a girls name that has the same meaning?

MolotovCocktail Tue 29-Jan-13 14:05:23

Names that mean 'peace' or 'peaceful':


If any of these tickle your fancy, I can elaborate upon meanings or give alternatives.

(From The Complete Reverse Dictionary of Baby Names by Amanda Elizabeth Barden)

Arithmeticulous Tue 29-Jan-13 14:07:11

I'd either use Elfrida or Rose and stuff your mother grin If she doesn't get that it's your decision not hers it's for your grandad not his sister, well... what if when she takes against something else?

I also have a controlling mother. My grandmother died when I was pg with DD. DD has her middle name as her middle name. My mother was horrified that I would do that to her (my mother). It could have been worse, I could have used her first name which was the female version of my nasty grandfather. It was one of many things she felt the right to comment on.

CheeseStrawWars Tue 29-Jan-13 14:16:26

Princess Margaret was Margaret Rose. Lots of people born around the same time as her got that name. I'd shove another name in between Margaret and Rose if your mum really hates it.

Girl varient of Fred - Winnifred? Though inevitable "Winnie the Pooh" nicknames...

Personally, I hate the name Margaret, not that it matters. It is a bit 'marmite'.

CheerfulYank Tue 29-Jan-13 14:37:33

grin I get that, Cheese. I'm prepared for people to not like it. It is meaningful to DH, however, and he rarely expresses a preference, so I know he must really want it. And I love Maggie.

I do somewhat like Primrose for the middle, but that just may be the hormones talking. smile

I think I should probably look for another name. It's hard because my mother's gotten my back up about this baby for several reasons, so this feels like another controlling measure. However, this is probably different and has the possibility to be hurtful. I don't want to do that. I'm loving the suggestions, thank you so much! smile

CheerfulYank Tue 29-Jan-13 14:40:11

Also Cheese it wouldn't help to put another name in there; I can forsee a ruckus if I use Rose at all. And most Americans are only vaguely familiar with the princess and wouldn't make that connection.

Lostonthemoors Tue 29-Jan-13 14:42:37

I had a similar situation to you, in that one of my two all time favourite boy names was the first name of someone who treated my mother very badly as a teen. I couldn't use it because I didn't want her to wince inwardly every time DS's name was mentioned.

I wouldn't go for Margaret Rose because of princess M - was first thing I thought reading your post.

I like Rosalind, Rosamund, Rosa or Rosina if you want to stick with roses.

Or what about Flora, which I adore - meaning flowers?

gnushoes Tue 29-Jan-13 14:59:43

Primrose is really lovely. But it sounds to me like you should really ignore your mum on this.

Ooh I know of a baby due soon who will be called Maggie Rose!


I have a Meg, just Meg, which is a lovely NN for Margaret.

CheerfulYank Tue 29-Jan-13 17:48:14

I like Meg too, but I am Megan so she'd be Maggie. smile

I have a feeling this isn't my last DC, either, so maybe I'll just wait and use Frederick in some form for a DS.

nickelbabe Tue 29-Jan-13 18:59:19

the thing is. and ths is going tp sound morbid.
your mum is not goingto be alive forever.
you're going to choose your daughter's name based on what your mum wants.
what about what you want?
what if you give in to your mum and she dies in a couple of years? you'll spend your life regretting not choosing a name for lovely reasons.

nickelbabe Tue 29-Jan-13 19:03:08

og and

your mum has had a go at naming her own babies. it is your turn now and none of her damn business

Viviennemary Tue 29-Jan-13 19:09:43

My Mum was like this. She'd get a bee in her bonnet about something and never let it go. But if you explain that' it's nothing at all to do with your aunt and you want to use the name in memory of your grandad. Could you reach a compromise if you can't persuade her.

LentilAsAnything Tue 29-Jan-13 19:40:55


MumOfMissy Tue 29-Jan-13 19:54:56

Call your daughter what you like. The good thing about middle names is they are hardly ever seen or heard except on passports or birth certificates. You could even quietly name her Margaret Rose and not tell your Mum she has a middle name. I think it's lovely, love Maggie for short x

Rhubarbgarden Tue 29-Jan-13 22:40:46

Floribunda or Eglantine? They are types of roses. I think they'd make wonderful middle names! I also love Primrose.

Maggie is a great name by the way.

mathanxiety Tue 29-Jan-13 23:23:17

How about Margaret...
Rosaleen (Rosaleen is a poetic name for Ireland, in case you have any Irish connections)
Rosanna - v pretty
Romy - German diminutive of Rosemary, a stealth Rose...
Raisa -- yiddish 'rose'
Zytka -- polish 'rosebud'
Roisin (should be a fada on o and second i) -- Irish

CheerfulYank Tue 29-Jan-13 23:43:10

Those are pretty Math. I do love Roisin. I adore names with the soft sh sound...love Saorise too. smile

I have thought about Ruusu, which is Finnish for rose.

mathanxiety Wed 30-Jan-13 00:01:43

Oh that is a lovely name indeed.

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