My DS is just over 3 weeks old and I can't stop crying. He's a perfect little boy. He eats, he sleeps, he is just lovely. But everything makes me upset and I cry all day long and all night long. I worry that I've injured the baby, obsessively checking for dislocated limbs, bumps on his head. I wake up screaming that I've lost the baby, or that somebody has taken him. I am in a constant state of high adrenaline and anxiety. The place is a mess. My husband keeps asking me what's wrong and why am I crying. I just have no real answer. He is concerned about me having postnatal depression. But it's just the baby blues, right? I don't want to talk to my doctor as I'm worried they'll take my baby away from me.
Hello lovely. Congratulations on your lovely baby boy. It's normal to feel weepy in the early days, as is worrying whether the baby is okay. But crying all day and night does sound an awful lot. Please speak to your GP or your health visitor about how you are feeling - no one will take your baby away from you, I promise you. You have to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your son. Big hugs x
What you describe sounds very different to the 'baby blues. Certainly sounds like you need to see your health visitors and GP re possible post-natal depression/anxiety.
Part of this depression and anxiety is irrational thoughts about your baby being taken away. This won't happen in the circumstances you describe, but hopefully you'll be able to get some much needed help.
Do you have a history of depression or anxiety at all?
Please speak to your GP - this doesn't sound normal to me at all and you should be able to enjoy your baby more than it sounds as though you are. No one will take your baby away, but they will be able to help you to feel more like you would like to feel.
you've reminded me of the intensity of that fear when you've got all those post birth hormones kicking around. When DS1 was born i was petrified to tell people anything about anything because I thought my perfect little boy would be taken and never returned.
I made things unnecessarily hard for myself.
Your midwife and health visitor will have seen every extreme of emotion in dealing with new mums and if you are able to tell them how you're feeling will no doubt be able to help you through these early weeks and if necessary and you want it get you extra support.
Your health needs to be looked after for you to be the best person you can to look after your DS. Please don't try to suffer silently. Even if to start with its just having a proper good cry on your health visitors shoulder to let it all spill out.
Wishing you all the very best, this will pass even though with the physical and emotional exhaustion of early parenhood its hard to think about each day passing let alone the future.