Mumsnet Talk

After four years am just getting my head round the fact that I may possibly want to do the baby thing again and this thread is encouraging.

Had a dreadful birth leading to PTSD (still benefit from counselling) and damaged rear end (still under specialist clinic), undiagnosed PND, then my cancer symptoms started when DD was 8 months old but not diagnosed for 7 more months, thought I was going mad, PND got worse before it got better, DD is now 4 and am in remission, life been very bad blah blah.

But happy that I am even considering it, I thought I never would:-)

Ahhh these stories are so good to hear! Sheldon - I am Tizzy. Name change. X

Me too.

Was on AD's for 7 months after ds1 was born. Got myself right again with counselling too and had ds2 2 years after ds1. No sign of it at all. I do still have some dark days, but not like the terrible black hole I was in when ds1 was a baby.

I was looking for it when I had ds2, as I'm sure you will be too, if it does come you'll know what to do to get better and probably seek help earlier, both of which will help.

Good luck OP

Me

Horrible, crushing PND after DS1. It took a couple of years to feel 'better' and to come to the decision to try for the very-much-wanted second child.

DS2 is 5mo now and I've been peering round every corner for the PND and DP and I have been ready to deal with it, but it's just not arrived.

It's not been sunshine and lollipops all the way second time, some moments have been gloomy. But that gnawing, desperate bleakness isn't there. Massive Fucking Relief..

all the best, OP

Sure PND is all hormonal.
I think looking back it was because I had a very unpleasant pregnancy and was unprepared for a baby. I was 37 and it was a biological clock decision to have a baby. I had never so much as held a baby before DS1 was born. No friends or family with babies. I was just pole-axed by it all. I reached the lowest point when DS was 4 months and then started to improve.
With DS2 I knew I wanted a baby, when he arrived I felt physically and mentally on top of the world. no comparison with first time.

MyLittlePuds he's 9 weeks. My experience sounds similar to Tizzy's, plus v low mood & general despair! I've been on sertraline for 4 weeks now and it is helping a lot, still not totally normal tho.

Hi Sheldon. How bad? As bad as mine?! Do you think it was hormonal? I'm worried that as I'm such a slave to my hormones that it'll just happen again

Yes and I never admitted it. Still haven't told anyone even on anonymous MN how bad it was.
Not a hint of it after 2nd DS thank goodness.

Same here, dd is 9 months and we would love more fairly close together. Although in the process of coming off a low dose AD I'm apprehensive of how I'll cope.

How old is your DS1 Emblosion?

This is v reassuring to read. I'm still in the midst of it all with ds1, but would like more eventually and have been thinking about this a bit.

@tizzy similar to you, more anxiety based, social phobia. I just went mental. But managed to fool the outside world. My angel was in the form of a lady who had a baby a similar age, she actually knocked on my door and we made friends, we both had PND and we got each other through it.

Second time, I was not taking any chances, still had issues, anxiety BUT I did not go to that really dark place.

My friend also went on to have another and 3 days after the birth, she went to the mental health team and she got help, not as bad for her either.

It also depends on the baby, my second was way calmer, and had no colic.

Yay I'm loving these stories. Does anyone think there was a hormonal factor to their PND? Mine was anxiety based - panic attacks, derealisaton etc that were very out of the blue. It was like a trip to hell but partly because I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me? Perhaps this time, if the worst does happen, I can think 'oh well I feel totally weird but I know why.'

Yes, here, bad with DS1....undiagnosed for 2 years.

DS2 saw it coming in hospital, and got counselling right away. Was great, no pills, yes I had issues but it was joy compared to DS1 issues.

I think the trick is not to think that you can just do nothing, have a plan in place.

Yes!

I had horrible pnd the first time to the point of having "visions" of things happening to my baby. It was terrifying, and I spent my entire pregnancy with DS2 on tenterhooks.

He is now 8 months, and whilst I have had days where I don't feel 'right' (but doesn't everyone?), I have been a completely different person. I am a lot more relaxed this time around and, even though I have more environmental factors that might be a recognisable trigger (I am horribly isolated from friends and family this time due to a cross-country move) I have no symptoms of depression. It's a lovely feeling.

Good to hear Merlion

Another one here! I had bad pnd with ds and was also terrified that it would reappear with dd but she's nearly 15 months now and I've been fine.

I had suffered from depression previously and although the pnd was different it was mainly the thought of being depressed again and what it had taken me to get through it before that bothered me the most (if that makes any sense).

I think generally I was so much more relaxed 2nd time round plus the fact that I didn't have the feeding issues I had with ds made it much easier for me. I was also a lot less hard on myself and more willing to ask for/accept help from anyone who offered!

Congratulations on your pregnancy btw!

Watching with interest. I had severe severe PND with first baby and have just found out I'm pregnant with second. Would love positive stories. Congrats on pregnancy OP!

Thank you for your response. It gives me hope.
I'm actually a MW myself so it won't be a problem about it being on my notes , to be honest it was my HV that helped me the most. I'm very lucky that she's still around (close to retirement) and still is in touch. It's just terrifying to have been in such a dark place, as I'm sure you're aware.
Pleased you're well.

Yep.

I had severe PND after my first baby - at times I was suicidal. I was very concerned that it could happen again after my second baby but so far (he's 7.5 months now) it's been ok.

I did struggle with antenatal depression the second time but tbh I think that was more situational than anything, the pregnancy was very unexpected and couldn't really have come at a worse time. I was fine within a week or two after the birth though.

If you're worried about PND have a chat with your midwife - mine had it plastered all over my notes that I had had it the first time just so that it couldn't be missed!

I am 14 wks preg with DC2 (a little premature in thinking about this, I know). I had severe PND with DS, took medication that worked well and I was able to successfully wean off them 4 months later. Been fine ever since.
I am, obviously, very concerned about a recurrence with this baby. I am hoping someone will tell me it can actually be ok second time around....