To be cross about DP waking me up EVERY night?

[LockedTheLastOpenDoor]

For the past few months, DP has been getting up in the middle of the night EVERY night to go to toilet. He's not quiet with it though, he gets up quickly, makes loads of noise etc and wakes me up. I have insomnia so if I get woken up during the night, I'll never get back to sleep.

Last night I was really angry. He got up, went downstairs to toilet, came back up making lots of noise, turned on the bedroom light, shuffled stuff around, make a lot of whinging noises, turned off the light and then turned it back on again and started moving clothes etc around. This was 4am. I asked what he was doing and apparantly the phone was making lots of noise and he was trying to find it as it was "Keeping him awake".

Its really starting to bother me. I've never known any adult have to go to toilet in the middle of the night EVERY night, its ridiculous.

Would I be out of line to mention that it bothers me? he'll only go off in a mood like but if it was me doing it I'm sure he'd complain

[Iklboo]

How's his prostrate? Or is it some form of sleep walking/talking? DH is prone to sleep talking and can carry out full, lucid conversations even though he's asleep

[castille]

Perhaps he should have his prostate checked, if it's a recent thing and nothing else has changed.

Maybe he is quietly worried about it too and subconscioulsy wants you awake to help calm his fear?

[AgentZigzag]

Is he still asleep do you think? Turning the lights on and off and looking for the phone sounds like he's not quite with it? Although only you'd know if this was a normal state of affairs for him

YANBU though, I turn into a totally unreasonable psychowoman if anything but a baby disturbs my sleep.

[fernie3]

If he is suddenly waking up like this I would send him to the doctors. It sounds odd and annoying to me!

[bluebump]

YANBU as I could have written this post, however there is nothing wrong with my DPs prostate, it is the fact he drinks a pint of water just before bed time. His side of the bed is against the wall and it seems beyond his capability to walk to the wall and then crawl up the bed, he has to get in where my feet are and climb across me instead. I have tried talking to him and it doesn't seem to have stopped him so now I kick him really hard and will see how long it takes for that to sink in that i'm annoyed with him

[Niecie]

My DH also wakes up every single night too, largely because he drinks a lot before bedtime because he has not drunk enough during the day.

It is a PITA, you are right, especially if you can't get back to sleep again.

Can't think how you can stop him though, short of rationing his drink intake after 7pm, like you would a small child trying to get dry at night.

As a revenge I am afraid if I were you I might well be driven to waking him up after he had nodded off again, just to tell him that he woke me up and now I can't sleep either. It might make he think twice about making so much noise next time.

YANBU

[chegirl]

My OH has been waking me up for nearly 20 flippin years!

He used to do it because he thought I would appriciate being woken for sex at 3am. Despite telling him otherwise this went on for a fair while .

Then there was the coming in late after raving.

Then there is the teeth grinding (that has to be the worst!)

Insisting on having a 150 tog duvet because his feet get cold (wear some bloody socks then)

Shift work (I know that isnt his fault but do you HAVE to turn the bloody lights on?)

Leaving to go on nights but a/leaving the dog outside so I have to get up, b/leaving the gate open so it bangs in the wind.

Now as we approach middle age its less of the sex and more of the teeth grinding, snoring and bloody fidgiting.

I do love him but would love my own room. I may get bunk beds.

[mathanxiety]

Ear plugs and one of those things you put over your eyes in a plane. And masking tape over the light switch. Plus put his phone and any other items that might conceivably bother him in the kitchen or elsewhere before you go to sleep.

But really, this is horrible. Sit down and have a long talk with him (you talk and he listens) sometime during the day about the fact that this is going to stop and what he is going to do about it. He will go to the doctor and get his prostate checked. He will not drink anything after 7 pm. He will sleep in another room if he keeps it up.

[LadyTeasmaid]

Michael McIntyre said there are two reasons which are acceptable when waking your wife. Either a celeb has died or it is snowing.

I agree with mathanxity. YANBU.

[purpleduck]

LOL LadyTeasmade!!!

[worldgonemad72]

Defo get him checked out at the doc's, my dad was doing this and annoying the hell out of my mum, he evenually went the docs and it was trouble with his prostate (sp?)

[rookiemater]

I go to the toilet every night,I just seem to have a very small bladder,but I don't switch on the light and flush in the morning.

[jellybeans]

My DH does exactly the same. Between him, a baby with acid reflux and my insomnia, I get very little sleep. It sucks!

[busybutterfly]

Turning on the light at 4am?!

He's lucky you haven't suffocated him to death with your pillow

[Longtalljosie]

My DH (then DP) used to come to bed at 2.45 on a weekend after online gaming. There was something about being woken at that time which made it impossible to get back to sleep so I asked him to either come to bed earlier, or to sleep in the spare room. But it kept on happening.

Eventually (after much nagging) one night after he came to bed at 2.45 as normal, I woke him up every half-hour to inform him I still hadn't managed to get back to sleep. It was the last time he did it

[Blondeshavemorefun]

ears plugs and eye mask may help

and a heart kick may help him to be quiet

[Blondeshavemorefun]

hearty

[lisbey]

If this is out of character for him is there something bothering him, he's hoping you'll ask him about?

I'm prone to getting up and making a noise when I'm upset and need someone to talk to

[choosyfloosy]

OK he deserves a discussion/GP appointment. After that, there is no law that says a couple have to sleep in the same bed. DP always has to get up in the night (he is on some real bastards of pills) but as I sleep like the dead it's no issue. If it were, I would buy a sofabed out of the local paper and sleep downstairs.

[Thingiebob]

I don't think it's that strange for an adult to get up to pee in the night. I don't think I've ever gone a whole night without needing to go at some point!

But if this is unusual behaviour then instead of getting irritated about it, you should address the issue. He may have health problems or be suffering from stress.

[YanknCock]

My DH is also up every night to pee and is only 33. I think he doesn't sleep very well due to his chronic back pain (repeated spinal surgeries). He also does things like sitting bolt upright yanking the duvet off me, then falls asleep again slumped forward. And he has a wandering monkey arm that seems to elbow me in the head of its own accord. And then there's the kicking...and the snoring...

But when he gets up he at least tries to be quiet, and he doesn't turn the bedroom light on. I can tell he tries not to disturb me, even though he rarely succeeds!

[ABetaDad]

This does not sound right.

Does he actually remember getting up? If not, he is probably sleep walking or has a quite severe sleep disorder. The activities you describe soudn a lot like it might be that.

If he is getting up with intense bladder pain he needs to go and see the GP and get to a bladder specialist. Having lived with interstitial cystitis for 15 years and got up virtually every night I know the feeling.