Mumsnet Discussions - to be really annoyed at this teacher?

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to be really annoyed at this teacher?

(23 Posts)

By Wed 04-Nov-09 22:43:16 Add message | Report | Contact poster

My friend is really upset about one of her daughter's teachers - daughter is same age as my DD, 11, and in first year at high school. Apparently FD (friends daughter!) came home with a note in her planner from this teacher, but the teacher had used a nickname for FD that is a short form of her name. My friend has always been against that particular nickname as it's very easy for children to add to it to make it a nasty name. Well, last week my friend put a note in FD's planner to the teacher asking for her to call FD by her proper name.

FD came out of school today, said the teacher had said she taught 5 girls with the same name (all in different classes) and she calls them all something different. And if FD's mum didn't like it then tough, that's the way the teacher works.

My friend was really upset but worried she's overreacting; I'm furious because of the teacher's apparent attitude (of course this is all through word-of-mouth of FD at the moment) and think that if a parent has an issue with a particular name the teacher should take account of that.

There's a parent evening in 2 weeks; I don't think my friend should wait, I think she should call the school and set up a meeting with the teacher to explain her point of view and INSIST on a different name for FD.

God that got long! Sorry all. Didn't mean to go on for ever.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Fri 06-Nov-09 14:32:03

In my grand daughters class there are two girls with the same name. To differentuate between them they are known as Sophie H and Sophie B and that works fine.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Thu 05-Nov-09 10:25:44

yanbu, i think its wrong of the teacher. FD should tell her clearly that she doesn't like it, and her mum follow it up? if the teacher persists in it still then complain higher up, it is just rude. Also it could be seen as the teacher is bullying her in a way

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Thu 05-Nov-09 00:44:43

I don't think the teacher should have said 'tough' though - was that from the daughter - sounds odd thing to say!

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Thu 05-Nov-09 00:42:00

I think your friend should call the teacher and have a chat - as a secondary teacher - this seems to have blown out of all proportion and what is said in class/what is relayed can be different! - it could be easy for a class teacher not to know not to shorten her name if a note was made to her tutor/in diary - class teachers don't get the chance to read everyones diary. Having had 6 jessicas in a class - it is normally good practice to call them different things even if it is Jessica B or Jess - but they normally decide on it themselves iyswim - not forced into being called Jessi etc.

what was the note for??

Either phone or reply to the note saying prefer full name.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Thu 05-Nov-09 00:32:37

Not that it is ideal, but if the nasty teacher is insistent that she can't cope with calling fd her real name (which does beg the question is she fit to cope remembering all she is supposed to be teaching if she can;t even manage names...) is there a different nickname you could offer up as acceptable?

for example, if her name was charlotte and you hated charlie and chaz but didn't mind Lottie or lotta?

And when speaking to the teacher, definitely worth explaining how this child has been bullied with this nickname previously so it has bad connotations, if she is insisting she wants to use it then she can call one fo the other 5 by it and call the fd the right name.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Wed 04-Nov-09 23:24:31

i think the ignoring thing will just signal to classmates that she is riled by it, tbh.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Wed 04-Nov-09 23:23:56

I've never heard of this nickname solution. If there are lots of Janes, for example, then they get called Jane Jones, Jane Murphy, Jane Parker and so on.

It seems a very odd thing for a teacher to stick to their guns on.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Wed 04-Nov-09 23:18:03

YANBU

I think if your fd can then like someone else said ignore the teacher whenever she calls her by the wrong name.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Wed 04-Nov-09 23:12:02

Mmmcoffee I've been an outspoken, stroppy cow all my life, see! It's okay most of the time but it's got me into some scrapes on occasion!

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Wed 04-Nov-09 23:08:05

Well done valhalla I'm impressed!

I think my friend should call the school PDQ too edam. She's popping in tomorrow and we'll have a proper chat about it and see what she wants to do. I might print out this thread and give it to her!

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to be really annoyed at this teacher?