to want to have a poo in peace once in a while?

(66 Posts)
Grisette Mon 21-Sep-09 21:33:21

Dh gets this pleasure every day when we stop all the clocks cut off the telephone, prevent the dog from barking etc while he spends half an hour every morning "contemplating his day" in the bog. I NEVER get to have a quiet poo, without being interupted by DD looking for something, or needing a wee erself, having to play peek a boo or sing to DS to keep him happy, or the doorbell or phone ringing. It makes one rather anally retentive, let me tell you.

scotlass Mon 21-Sep-09 22:24:48

This has made me really laugh tonight, i thought I was the only one who got no peace in the toilet whilst DH somehow manages to read a whole effin magazine in there.

even worse our toilet is at the top of the stairs and my DD (10yrs) just loves to throw open the door so anyone coming to our door would get a lovely view too!

god I know exactly what you mean! grin
I even said to dp yesterday all I want is a poo and bath in peace, I even day dreamed the other day of getting a sitter just so I could have that pleasure blush

DD and DH both have no concept of bathroom privacy. They barge in and start blithering on at me, asking questions, etc. I've gotten a strategy down though: I run full-tilt at the bathroom with iPod in hand and slam the door, lock it, put the earbuds in my ears and get comfortable. Then I can't even hear them talking through the door!

I wish i could say it was all DD, but DH is just as bad. There's always something "vitally important" at just that moment. hmm

EvilEdnasTwinSister Mon 21-Sep-09 23:12:14

Was about to say "Can't remember the last time I had a poo or a bath in peace" when suddenly I do: it was 12 years ago just before I had my eldest DD...

I swear they know when I am about to um, go, and save the important questions/conversations/loud fighting until then. smile

MrsMonkfishToYou Mon 21-Sep-09 23:20:37

I remember having a poo holding my baby DS on my lap whilst my DD was trying to put a book onto his lap so I could "read it, read it, mummy, now!". And all the while the cat was weaving through my legs and I was just hoping his tail didn't find it's way under my bum and get poo on it.

Now it's a few years later it's not the DC's who are so much trouble it's still the cat who demands to be let in and given a drink from the bath.

muggglewump Mon 21-Sep-09 23:26:21

Which Mnetter was it whose DC banged a note on the xylophone each time she plopped one out?

I still laugh out loud at random moments thinking of thatgrin

gnomesrus Mon 21-Sep-09 23:36:42

Message withdrawn

LadyOfTheFlowers Mon 21-Sep-09 23:39:02

DS1 & 2 both have to come in when I'm on the loo.
They just have to be there, not necessarily doing anything, just stood, leant against the bath, supervising me.
Then commenting on how big my bum is when I get off.

mmrred Mon 21-Sep-09 23:47:42

My DS is actually very good about playing by himself whilst I go (or maybe I have good timing?) but I must have been taking too long one time and he came in and demanded I do something with him. I told him I couldn't do that because I was having a poo and I couldn't do it quickly, and he said 'do this mummy' and screwed his face up and made grunting noises. I couldn't go for laughing.

Can't believe I just put that on the internet.

gnomesrus Tue 22-Sep-09 00:01:06

Message withdrawn

Pikelit Tue 22-Sep-09 00:09:04

The children finally stop needing your undivided attention in the bathroom and all goes mercifully quiet. During this halcyon period, your bowels start to work normally again.

Until the blasted dog gets "Toilet Monster" mania and refuses to leave you alone lest the monster pounces and drags you down into its murky depths. I'm not sure whether the endless human demands were worse than the frantic barkings and scrabblings to be honest. Not that I could necessarily tell the difference...

My dp can happily be in the loo with his iPhone for over 40 min. I can hear him tapping away to his friends while he goes. hmm Needless to say he is never interrupted.

Muggins here ends up pooing while ds opens and shuts the door about 400 times screeching (his versions of) hello and goodbye, or turns the bath taps on and slaps the water around while I threaten and cajole (to no bloody effect I might add) and end up having to keep getting off the loo to stop him, and just as I get there he turns the tap off.

Sometimes living with a toddler is a bit like torture, except they've never heard of the Geneva convention. <eye twitches>

Bathsheba Tue 22-Sep-09 09:07:52

What I hate is how, if my DH needs a pooh he can just go - everything gets dropped, no consideration as to whether its a good time to disappear or not, he just goes..

When I need a pooh I need to consider oif the girls are happy/not in danger/not needing anything/not needing fed/answer 150 questions about Tom and Jerry...

But Dh just goes...

diddl Tue 22-Sep-09 09:13:28

YANBU.

That said, hubby isn´t guaranteed peace whilst in the bathroom in this house.

No one locks the door and others wonder in & out at will.

CyradisTheSeer Tue 22-Sep-09 09:22:20

My mom always tells me the first time she met my Dads father it was after dad knocked on the toilet door and grandad yelled "Cant i even get a fucking shit in peace in this house!" back at him. grin

GoldenSnitch Tue 22-Sep-09 09:22:32

"Sometimes living with a toddler is a bit like torture, except they've never heard of the Geneva convention. <eye twitches> " Genuine lol grin

GoldenSnitch Tue 22-Sep-09 09:27:02

I send DS to fetch me things while I go just to get him out of the room... cars, blocks, blooks, anything...at least I get a few seconds peace while he runs off on his little errand.

Poo-ing definietly has to be a private function for me. T'is the one thing I will never do in front of DH.

diddl Tue 22-Sep-09 09:36:54

GoldenSnitch-

Did you give birth with hubby there?

clumsymum Tue 22-Sep-09 09:37:48

Oh this is SUCH a familiar situation to me.

I CAN'T "go" if I have an audience, don't even like it if anyone in the family knows where I've gone.
I do find these days, when dh has a gone to work and ds at school bliss.

Over the summer hols it seemed the easiest time for me was when ds's guitar teacher came to give his lesson. I got a whole 1/2 hour to myself, once a week. Guess what I did?

countrybump Tue 22-Sep-09 09:53:04

This is so true - one of the best things about returning to work for me was that I was able to go to the loo unaccompanied!

My DS likes to know what I'm doing, and so does the dog! If I close the door it either gets opened by DS or my very large dog lies down the other side of it so I can't get out when I'm finished - punishment for not allowing him in in the first place!

StillSquiffy Tue 22-Sep-09 09:56:15

YABU

Rather like visiting exotic destinations, you should have done all your poos before your children were born.

MintyCane Tue 22-Sep-09 10:21:22

YANBU I have been thinking the same thing for 12 years now grin

Morloth Tue 22-Sep-09 10:23:23

LOL in our house you have to announce your plans to poo, tell anyone who wants to bathroom to go now - while you are finding your book...

Just close the door ignore the phone/doorbell.

thell Tue 22-Sep-09 11:01:18

MissM Tue 22-Sep-09 11:51:47

I'm reading this at work and crying with laughter. I have to read books to mine (3.5 and almost 2) - it's the only way I am actually able to sit down for long enough.

DH on the other hand always seems to find a minimum of 15 minutes to go each morning, even when he 'has to leave really early today'.

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