Mumsnet Talk

Dh gets this pleasure every day when we stop all the clocks cut off the telephone, prevent the dog from barking etc while he spends half an hour every morning "contemplating his day" in the bog. I NEVER get to have a quiet poo, without being interupted by DD looking for something, or needing a wee erself, having to play peek a boo or sing to DS to keep him happy, or the doorbell or phone ringing. It makes one rather anally retentive, let me tell you.

YANBU and your post really made me laugh.

It reminded me of the mumsnetter who once posted a thread complaining that every time it was time to get all the kids out of the house with bags, kits, coats, hats, scarfs, yadda yadda yadda, her dh used to go for his "emergency poo".

Can you not get into the toilet before your dh in the morning. Take a book and "contemplate your day" for about 45 minutes. That should cure him.

Couldn't agree more! It really gets on my nerves and has become a standing joke that when the in-laws are round I can actually go and use the loo on my own!! One day, I ended up with DS sitting on my lap while I had a poo just cos I couldn't stand the noise of him screaming and the mess created by him waving the loo brush at me - his other favourite past-time!!!

If your dh is taking half an hour in there, pack him off to the GP. There is something very wrong if it takes him half an hour to evacuate his bowels!

I feel your pain yanbu - i dont thnk i have finished a number 2 properly in weeks! Was that tmi?

I can also sympathise! DS2 has a fascination with me on the loo, and as our door on the bathroom is so warped that it doesn't close I can't keep him out!

You need to go to Pauls house

drinkmoretea - I was just about to suggest Paul's House

YANBU

I, too, have contemplated "doing a poo at Paul's" purely to get some peace and quiet, regardless of what it smells like

I don't even know anyone called Paul though

drinkmoretea you have really made me laugh. not having a poo in peace is one of the things my mum remembers from me and my bro being little, so it is obviously something that affects lots of people.

YANBU. If I'd ever thought having a solo-poo would make my day I don't think I'd have had kids

Iwish I also have a rubbish door, must call an odd job person to get it sorted. OH doesn't understand as he usually goes at work - saves on toilet paper

love this thread.
our house is just the same Grisette. It drives me mad. I can't remember the last time I used the loo in peace.
I've done the same Bethylou!
but why is it when ds1 is a nursery and ds2 is having a nap, I never need to go!!!

darn, drinkmoretea got there first....

that's what going to work is for

seriously, how old your dcs? because i have made a deal with dd1 (3 1/2) that she can keep me company for no 1s but nos 2 are private (although i have to promise to call her when i am done and ready for a week

dd2 unfortunately still wants to be very much involved wih the whole process at 16 months...

Mine are 8 and 11. It doesn't get any better. They just bark at me through the door. I feel your pain - my DH is just the same.

(sob) this has made my day! DH goes in the loo with either his Blackberry or my iTouch for about 20 mins.

I have to leave the door open so my 18mo DS2 doesn't scream himself unconscious and can instead attempt to put his toys down the toilet while I am on it, hit my back repeatedly with the open lid then flush while I am still "working on it".

Oh to have a few moment's peace in a day....

Grisette - I'm with you (not on the loo obviously ).

It's a standing joke in our house that I say "OK then before I go to see Paul (see the advert thread) who needs to know anything/where stuff is/what's for tea/wants help with homework/etc, etc" because as sure as eggs is eggs I'll just get started comfortable and the door will fling open with the cry of Mommmmmmm where's ..............

Thankfully mine are both at senior school and take themselves so I have now trained myself got into the habit of going in the time slot between dh and the dcs leaving the house and me having to leave for work. Ahh Peace at last

that was supposed to read "ready for a wee", not a week!

If it makes the balance any better my dad used to complain he "never had a poo in peace" :D

lol, glad someone suggested a poo at paul's! I don't understand why men have to make such a song and dance about pooing. I can't see why it takes so long, every man I've ever known seems to pride themselves on taking forever and a day on the bog.

Curiously this gender difference in bowel habits seems to be also manifesting in my offspring!

DD - gets on, gets done, gets off.

DS - "Have you finished?" - "Not yet Mummy!" for about 15 minutes whilst I stand there, wipe in hand.

My DH plays his guitar on the bog, drives me effing mental.

DH actually told me that he knew of someone, a male friend, that used to... and I shudder to even recount this...

..he used to eat his fecking breakfast while on the lav. doing his No2s.....

I'm not sure what I found more disgusting, either the fact that he did this, in one end and out the other thing, or that his fecking wife supported this and flaming served it all up to him on plate/tray whatever.

We're talking coffee, cooked food, the lot!!

my ds and dd are the same pjmama, never thought about it before. DS despite being over four still announces his poo and wants help and a big fuss whereas dd (only just 3 a few days ago) quite often just leaves a little poo present in the potty without anyone noticing.

Oh, apparently it was the only way he could 'go'.... wouldn't work otherwise.

Unfortuately DS is 5 months so it might be a while before i can negiociate a peaceful pooing deal with him.