I dont deny or disagree with what the research says, just think that lifes too short.

Personally tv is fantastic at bedtime for my family (not saying its right for every family), my children have a bath, story then dvd and sleep perfectly well until the next morning. And I'm sure it would be good advice to anyone who's children have problems sleeping, it doesnt mean it would work in every case though, personally I believe as long as you wind down correctly then a bit of tv before bed isnt harmful.

But research has shown that in general, watching TV before bedtime disrupts sleep patterns. And it's not just one study: it's study after study after study that's showing this, and it's not just children, it's adults too, though children are of course more affected.

Your children may not be affected by this; but for those parents whose children sleep badly, it might be a very useful piece of information to know that using the TV to unwind before bedtime is possibly the most counter-productive thing they could do as it can lead to what researchers call "junk sleep" (ie sleep that is disrupted at the REM stage) and they might be better off trying something else. If they disregard the info, that's up to them, but at least they are making an informed choice.

Totally agree with the second part of your post

I have this big thing about live and let live it really annoys me when I see people tell others what to do with their lives, my children have a tv in their bedroom, they usually watch it as a way of relaxing at bedtimes (we live an active lifestyle) I suppose I was more annoyed at a previous poster who'd said that all children should read books instead of watch tv......my argument is what people choose to do is their own choice

LOL, what do you mean forcing?

I'm not forcing anyone to sit in front of their computer and read my post. They can ignore it if they want, no-one is forcing anything on anyone.`And while you may not be interested in obtaining info, some other people might be. If no one is, it doesn't really matter, as luckily we don't have to sit a weekly exam on information posted on mumsnet that week!

I agree there comes a point when children have to make their own decisions. They are more likely to make good decisions, if we as parents guide them in the right direction as long as we are able to - so to impress on them that TV isn't the default entertainment/ activity, it's just one of many, to encourage them to understand that if they spend too much time on screen activities that is unhealthy for all sorts of reasons; that eating vegetables is a Good Thing; that scoffing McDonald's for dinner three times a week is a Bad Thing; that taking exercise is crucial to their well-being; etc. etc. Even if we do all that, we can't guarantee that our kids will make good choices when they are teenagers and adults; but by taking some responsibility for the direction we give them while they are still young enough to be influenced by us, we give them the tools to make good choices. If they choose not to use them, there's nothing we can do about it, but we still need as parents to ensure that they have the tools to begin with.

But why do you feel the need to force information on people who obviously aren't interested? I say forget what others do and concentrate on your own life. People aren't aware because if it was the only thing in life they had to worry about they would make a conscious effort to be aware of it, their lack of awareness suggests they have more to life than to worry about a bit of TV.

And my personal view as previously stated somewhere on here is there comes a point when children HAVE to be allowed to make their own decisions rather than constantly having adults decide for them otherwise they'll never be equipped to make decisions in an adult world if they're not allowed to learn how to make sensible decisions as a child.

Ditto on the new tv tho

Yes we're all adults with freedom to choose.

But our children aren't.

I do have the right to impart information to people who may not be aware of it. If people choose to disregard the information, that is of course, their absolute right.

With one small caveat: the effect of your decisions upon a) your children and b) the wider society.

LOL at being urged to get a life. No no, I don't want a life, I want a new TV.

HerBeatitudeLittleBella.....actually nobody does have the right to tell anyone how much tv is too much, why? Because what other people choose to do is sod all to do with anyone else! I really think some people need to get out a bit more and experience life, lifes too short for half the bollocks people on this thread come out with! As long as your happy with your family then keep your nose out of others' business's and concentrate on your own life.....or lack of it!!!!!

TV or no TV......does it really matter, were all adults capable of making choices so who gives anyone the right to judge? Concentrate on yourselves!

Great post LittleBella.

Also, I had to come back and take issue with Pottytroll:

"If you're worried about the children having too much control over the tv in their room then your children obviously already run rings round you anyway controlling the tv in the room is just like controlling what your childs diet is when your childs bedtime is etc"

Controlling what DD1 & 2 are up to - no problem, they can self-regulate nicely with TV, computer games, sweets, crisps, biscuits etc etc.

DS - nightmare. He doesn't "run rings round me" because I don't let him, but he has no self regulation whatsoever. If he had a TV in his room, he would watch it whenever he could. As I need some sleep occasionally and also have two other children to spend time with, I cannot physically see what he's up to every minute of every day. So for me, the easy thing to do is not to have a TV in his bedroom.

Surely, once again, you tailor your parenting to your child? You are not a superior parent because you have a child without an addictive personality you know, you're just lucky .

Good post, HerBeatitude

“no one on here has the right to tell anyone else how much tv is too much”

Well actually, yes they do. If a child watches 8 hours of TV a day every single day, it is actively harmful to their physical well-being, their social skills and their behaviour. And actually it doesn’t have to be 8 hours, I believe it’s in the region of 2 hours. It is well-documented, it is not just personal opinion, people who have no vested interest in the subject have done extensive research on it. You can decide not to believe their research, of course, that’s up to you.

As for the “my DD watches a lot of TV and she is slim so that blows the obesity / TV watching link out of the water” – well, my grandmother smoked all her life and died at the age of 98, so that blows the link between early death, ill health and cigarettes out of the water too, doesn’t it. Er, no, it doesn’t. Just because individuals buck the trend, doesn’t mean the trend is non-existent.

I'm not anti TV. My DS has a Tv in his room. But I don't feel so insecure that I have to disbelieve extensive, respectable research if it challenges my parenting practices.

ermm but TV's are usually placed out of the on a shelves/furniture - whereas a bike does tend to rather get in the way .

But don't you think the 'in the garage' is the key part of that sentence, not 'once a month'?

Who has three bicycles in their hall, and one by the stairs, and two in the dining room and one upstairs in the bedroom but only rides them once a month?

That person must live alone I reckon.

"Why are people buying all these tellies and saying they don't really watch them?"

...... because it is useful on occasions to have them.

How many people have a bike in their garage and ride it once a week/month?.

Top Gear often clashes with other programmes that I want to watch

And I was joking .

If there's something on the (only TV which TV can actually be watched) then MY choice takes first place. And DS2 (5) can tell the time AND knows what time various programmes are on on Cbeebies - including the ones that clash with Horrid Henry (DS1's favourite) on Citv. I have never told him that - he's worked it out for himself - and no DS1 didn't teach him - DS1 (8) has only ust started to "click" with telling the time).

<<<<<<switches Wimbledon on>>>>>>>> (which clashes with Horrid Henry)

Besides - what's wrong with a child wanting to watch something on TV on in piece and quiet from younger siblings????

No worries Stillstanding, I didn't take it as a personal criticism it was just unclear from your post what you meant, thanks for clearing it up

ahundredtimes: "If you have a tv in your room, or your dc room, or a house with 6 sets, one in every room - we have learnt that it doesn't mean that they are watched more than if you have just the one set."

It doesn't necessarily mean that but it is a good indicator that they are, no? I'm not sure I buy this argument that you need 6 tv's because all the good shows are on at the same time ...

Some people seem to think that because others allow their children to have a tv in their room they have no control over how it is used!!

I don't think this is the case.
If you're worried about the children having too much control over the tv in their room then your children obviously already run rings round you anyway controlling the tv in the room is just like controlling what your childs diet is when your childs bedtime is etc

It doesn't make a bad person to allow children luxuries that the parents might not have had as long as the children understand moderation just like everything else

Kazzi79, I never said that your children were watching too much tv. I have no idea how much tv your children watch.

No one is telling you what to do or restricting your rights in any way. This is just a discussion with different views and you shouldn't take people expressing those different views as personal criticism.

What's the point of having a TV in the room if they are not watched?
If they watch so little surely you can all share one?
Unless you have the TV on all day yourself and want the kids out of the way so the house doesn't get messy?

Oh FAQ that's just silly
your children only know if something goo d is on if you tell them {unless your kids are older)
What is there that they really can't miss or that is on at the same time as something you really can't miss?

First of all Clemette, my 8 year old son is a fantastic reader and I would never discourage this, my 10 year old doesn't like reading books but instead chooses to read magazines and comics which are of particular interest to him (mainly football), I regularly read books to my 4 year old, a particular favourite being The Gruffalo and we love this quality time that we have together. I myself just do not find books a good way to have my chill out time, I would rather find other ways to relax.....thats just me if people want to condemn that then go ahead.

Stillstanding - you're entitled to disagree with my statement, thats what discussion topics are for. Personally I believe that the older children get (as previously stated my eldest 2 are 10 and 8) the more responsibilty you have to give them and enable them to make their own choices, if children don't learn to make sensible choices as children then they have no chance in an adult world. Yes children learn right and wrong from parents which is why I set the best possible example that I can to them. I find it interesting that you presume I let my children watch too much tv, firstly no one on here has the right to tell anyone else how much tv is too much, secondly me and my children live a very active lifestyle, its our CHOICE to use tv as a way of winding down.....no ones approval needed.

Posieparker.....tv at bedtime has never damaged any of my childrens sleep patterns, so as well documented as you think it is I'd rather do what works for me not what does or doesn't work for everyone else, and I don't condemn anyone else's parenting style......maybe its because I'm confident enough in my own style of parenting, sure there are people who do things differently to the way I'd do them, but thats their choice and they have every right to do as they please, I'm sure as a parent you would do some things that I think are wrong but that isn't any of my business, as long as my children are happy, healthy, well clothed, well loved and well looked after then other peoples judgements really don't matter

"Why are people buying all these tellies and saying they don't really watch them?"

because sods law dictates that the few times there are good programmes on the TV to watch - they're all on at the same time - so it's easier to have more TV's so there's less debate about which bit of (rare) decent TV is on the screen

Why are people buying all these tellies and saying they don't really watch them?

Why did they feel they needed to buy them all in the first place?

I am not mad on TV as it is "passive" and tedious entertainment for a lot of the time and often made by people I wouldn't allow into my house, let alone get them to espouse their world views to my DD...oh dear, I work in TV, can't you tell?

Quite right ahundredtimes

That has been the journey and the revelation of this thread.

If you have a tv in your room, or your dc room, or a house with 6 sets, one in every room - we have learnt that it doesn't mean that they are watched more than if you have just the one set.

FAQ, I agree that having a tv in the bedroom doesn't mean that they are up there watching it all the time and that children could just as easily be watching too much tv downstairs.

For me alarm bells would start to ring though when a need was identified for a tv in a bedroom or in fact for more than one tv in the house. It would seem to me that we were travelling down a slippery slope and I would have a long hard look at our tv usuage in those circumstances.

But in principle I agree - tv can be used to excess just as much in the living room as in a bedroom.

Thanks ruffallo

barnsley belle- I do apologise that was rather harsh. I have had a stressful morning and flitted over this briefly.
Sorry

So true FAQ... Children have toys, books, board games etc but they are not playing with each one of them all the time. Ds has books, toys, crayons and a tv in his room. Spends time with all of them and not just the tv.

dvds. Nothing wrong with them watching a children's dvd in their room, imo.

Lessening parental control is not always a bad thing. Children need 'downtime', not to be watched over and directed all the time. Bit of freedom, bit of control, bit of privacy... all good things.

you still have 'control' by providing only those dvds you are happy for them to watch, having rules on how many times a week they can watch them, a cut off time at night, limit on how long they can be up there (cos you don't want them up there all day every day)

but who says it's endless gaming? Just because a game station is there doesn't mean it's played constantly!

but what's it for then? endless gaming is probably worse imo.
I just think it lessens parental control and why do that?

ds had a sleepover and the played those ds machines for endless hours. The charger is lost and I haven't bothered getting another. Ds is just unable to stop when it's around. I think they are SO bad these games and particulaly hate the fighting ones, luckily ds only likes the football ones.

low and lady just because they have a TV in their room that's actually connected to channels doesn't mean they'll be watching it in the middle of the night.

*mrs ruffallo*... Woah, smug and depressing??
Am .
Sorry if i've come across that way.. am so not smug in RL.

What parts are smug and what parts are depressing?

A lot of research implies it can have a negative effect.

Why would people want a child watching the god knows what in the middle of the night when they're young?

Not in this house so far and I hope ever!

They don't need a tv in their bedroom, nobody does. Nobody needs one at all, but it's not a terrible thing, imo. Mine are 8 & 10 and have just been given one. It is hooked up to a dvd player and can only play their dvds (eg garfield, ratatouille, pink panther - the cartoon obviously ). They love it. They watch it a few days a week. It's nice for them to have their own space as well as be in the living room (where their wii and the computer are). they also spend time playing with their toys / reading in their bedroom. Don't really see how that's different yet you don't see people saying that all the kids toys & books should be in the living room. It's their own little piece of the world where they can shut the door and enjoy some time to themselves.

"and I suspect that tv in the bedroom can often equate to too much tv. "

But surely that only applies if they're up there watching it all the time. They could just as easily not have a TV in their room and watch too much TV downstairs......

and no - my children don't have a TV in their room - well there's on in DS2/3's room - but it's for weekend PS2 playing out of DS3's grabbing hands .

barnsley - I would be furious too but ............. I had to laugh.

Did your brother have a TV in his bedroom as a child?

And I don't think there is an anti TV brigade on this thread- just anti TV in bedrooms or anti tv watching at the expense of family life from what I can tell.
Yet another thread where people get defensive and dismiss anything a little bit against the norm as something to not be ignored or taken the piss out of.
This is getting me down
<where's flouncers corner?>

Can i just add that my very last post about porn on the plasma tv was written by my brother who stayed over at my house last night. he clearly got onto my laptop after i went to bed. I have found a horrible thread he started and he has commented on many others using my nickname.
I'm horrified and very cross and he thinks it's funny.

God, Barnsley Belle your posts are so smug and depressing.
You're 'not poor' , you've got a big plasma TV and 4 more in your house, you watch porn on it, whoop a de doo for you

Actually, Kazzi79, I couldn't disagree more with your statement that "children should have the freedom to choose how they relax and what works best for them". They are children and don't know what's best for them. That's what parents are there for.

And imo (supported by experts' research on the subject) too much tv is bad for children and I suspect that tv in the bedroom can often equate to too much tv.

"tbh nothing bores me more than reading a book"
Not condemening your preference but this makes me feel really, really sad. I wonder how many children "don't like reading" because their parents find it boring.

condemn, not condone

It's well documented that TV at bedtime is a very bad choice though. It damages sleep patterns.

Actually one of my dcs is not a big reader so I read to him instead, after his obligatory school book.

Of course people question other people's parenting choices, it helps us either confirm or condone our own choices.

My point is, children should have the freedom to choose how they relax and what works best for them, tbh nothing bores me more than reading a book. If a child chooses to read a book in bed thats fine, if a child chooses to watch tv in bed thats also fine, its no one elses business. I personally think the problem lies with people who look down their noses at other parents' personal choices, tv is only a problem if children aren't getting other stimulating activities in their life, if children have a fun life then a bit of tv doesnt do any harm.
Why force a child to read a book if they don't like reading? To me thats just bullying and bullying is wrong!
My children have happy lives and tv hasnt traumered them! I think I'd be more worried if I was the sort of parent who questions other peoples parenting styles and choices, usually those type of people are the ones that need to criticise others to mask their own lack of parenting skills

'We find watching porn on our 42 inch plasma...'

Whatever.

Yes you're right why make the dcs read when they can watch TV? I think I've heard it all.

Whats wrong with children having a tv in their bedroom? Its nobody elses's business what people choose to have in their own homes.
Not every child enjoys reading so why should they read a book at bedtime if thats not their thing? I personally find tv relaxing and my children have their own tv, they choose what they want to watch at bedtime and it usually sends them off to sleep.
I would argue my case with the anti tv brigade on here........but tbh I don't need anyone elses approval of how I choose to bring up my children

theyear... We find watching porn on our 42 inch plasma in the bedroom very conducive to relaxation and then sleep

I refuse to even have a TV in our bedroom - I just don't think it is conducive to sleep and relaxation.

my DD has a tv (no aerial) in her room and a dvd player. we put it in her room as a last resort as she will not sleep!!
we tried pretty much everything to get her to go asleep on her own but she just... wont!!
it is very frustrating and i cracked under desperation for sleep!! we found that putting a slow paced DVD on like in the night garden etc helpd to relax her enough that she will actually fall asleep within an hour or two of getting into bed whereas before the TV we would be lucky if she fell asleep at all before 2am we have a routine now after 3.5 years of no sleep and sobbing (me and her) and i now dont feel like drowning myself in my breakfast every morning
TV is my friend and noone slags off my mates
each to their own i say! dont bother your heads with the whys and wherefores of peoples domestic set up as you dont know the reasons behind them and judgy judgerson only sees the shades of jeremy kyle in the families that <<<gasp>>> <<shock horror>> allow TV in their childrens bedrooms!!

xx ei xx

We have one in the livingroom and dd1 has one in her room, which doesn't actually work as a tv, it's used to watch dvds on - which is her quiet-time treat on the weekend.
As patient and lovely as she is with the dts, the poor girl relishes her hour away from them watching Dumbo or Fox & Hound before commencing battle with the dts again
I don't see anything wrong with her having one as long as use is monitored and it's not used as something to keep her quiet and out of the way.

at QOD and Barnsleybelle

LOL at qod...nice one

<pauses the tv whilst wishing QOD good luck at with the anti tv brigade on this thread >

I have to say - we have 4 tvs. My dh is a couple of stone overweight and watches tv 6 hours a day - dd is very slim and watches 2 to 3 hrs
I am HUGELY overweight and watch an hour to hour half tops
So the one who watches least is fattest, so that blows the obesity link out the window!

Sometime ago somebody said something like why do they need 4 tvs if they are all training to be gymnasts and footballers. I presume that was aimed at my post from ages ago - sorry, went off to watch tele and drnk wine!!!! On a serious note, the family I spoke of are genuinely training to (hopefully) be successful sports people and do train hard. They are also genuinely lovely sociable kids. The four tvs enable them to actually watch what they enjoy for the relatively short amount of time they have to spend in front of the tv. Thats the advantage of tvs in each room!! When I was a kid I think a lot of people used to have family time in the evening staring at the box together (personally i was restricted with only watching very small amounts - not good when trying to be part of a group at school!). Difference now is that parents generally seem to do far more with their children as there is less freedom, so spend more time standing at football matches, swimming classes, etc. Therefore probably there is less time spent in front of the box so it is important to actually beable to watch what you want. In my experience - restrict it too much and it has negative effect and becomes wanted more. Allow it without restriction and boredom soon sets in.

I use it to my advantage for example if it hasn't been on all day and they are getting tired I iwll put it on for half an hour whilst I make dinner, as they haven't seen it all day they will sit and watch it, I don't mind an hour tops a day, we also watch a DVD a week too.

It's this constant blaring of cbeebies in the background that drives me insane

But that's the difference between using TV as noisy wallpaper, and using it as a valuable entertainment device.

Having said that, I'm glad my DC's are beyond the Cbeebies stage...

I can't stand that neither. One toddler group "friend" basically thought she was the mary poppins of motherhood but cbeebies was on permanently in her house and if it was ever turned off her dd would throw a fit. I believe a controlled amount of tv is good. My son is a big fan of Time Team and Grand Designs, I don't know if it makes him a geek but if he wants to have a good career as an architect now because of it then so be it xx

DD1 has a 4yo friend and when we got to her house the TV in the living room is on constantly with cbeebies playing and no one watching.

She also has a TV in her room and it's left on playing DVDs all the time too and she watches it when she goes to bed, it's just a matter of time before DD1 asks for a TV but she is not getting one. I cannot stand cbeebies on 24/7

My son has had his tv since being 5 (he's now 7). It never goes on during the week at all and it only goes on at weekend for ps2 or to watch a dvd before bed. As I am single parent this gives me some peace time to myself. I thiunk if its well controlled a tv can't do any harm (smile)

Oh and even though we have TVs in our house, and other electronic devices - we are all very well adjusted sociable creatures thank you We talk lots, share family meals, do lots of other activities, etc. We are just capable of doing all that and watching a bit of TV as well!

There are lots of things people have that they don't actually need. let's face it no one actually needs a TV at all.

7y DD doesn't have a TV in her room and I don't intend getting her one. She gets to watch enough TV on the TV downstairs. We d have a portable TV in our room linked tot he downstairs Sky but it is very rarely watched. Not sure I can remember last time it was. DD does have a CD Player/Radio/iPod docking station in her room which is used a lot. She also can take her laptop up there although I do monitor internet use and she needs to ask me for a password to go online.

I have no problems about what other people chose to do regards RV and their children though. Up to them.

hundred.... DD is not able to safely go upstairs yet, she's 22 months and runs around downstairs like a wild woman. What's wrong with ds wanting some peace to himself in his room if he wants it. FWIW DS is never sent to his room to watch his tv, but if there is something he really wants to see then if it's not appropriate for dd he happily scoots off.
posie... Ds is 7, Dd is 22 months... I was being pedantic when i said retired

I think it's because they're given them too ahundredtimes. My DS (10) has one in his room, solely because a friend was chucking his one out and foisted kindly gave us his new one. He doesn’t watch it v. much but I’m conscious that as he gets older, this bloody thing could present a problem. He mostly uses it for his playstation – another –ungratefully-- received gift from someone outside the immediate family.

Posie has got a roasting on this thread for quoting extremely well-known facts about the links between TV's in bedrooms, insomnia, obesity, class etc. None of what she is saying is particularly revelatory, there have been thousands and thousands of studies on TV watching. It’s probably the most researched medium in the history of the world. A few studies which contradict each other, the jury’s out. Masses of studies which come back with the same results over and over again, and it probably isn’t a conspiracy to make us feel bad about having TV in our bedrooms, there’s probably something in it. There is nothing wrong with TV's being dotted around the house (except aesthetically, obv) as long as you use it with discrimination; but many people who have a TV in every room, do not use the TV with discrimination and that is not the same as saying that everyone who has 5 TV's are moronic couch potatoes. Saying that there are links between things, isn't the same as saying "your child is fat and you are a bad parent because he has a TV in his room”, but some of you act as if pointing out very well known research is a personal attack. It isn’t.

Ah

I dont know who it was PP I am far to lazy to read back. OH! I see no, pp stand for previous poster

watched, not watch

I had a TV commodore 64 monitor in my room at fifteen years. You can ask me anything about Prisoner cell block H, which I watch on my black and white portable with a dial tuner and earpiece (not even headphones).

lol at all you bedroom porn watchers

I'm not sure I'll look at another bedroom tv set the same again. And there was I thinking people had them there to watch the early morning news <innocent >.

BB... How old are your children? You say they have retired
chegirl, It wasn't me who said about sneaky TV.

Really? Nobody can say - hey dd, don't go in there, he's watching a programme that might scare you? Come in the kitchen.

I'm still quite struck by the argument that everyone needs one of their own to meet their own individual desires. I do think it's a bit excessive. I also think I might be living in the stone age though.

X posts with profiterol

hundred
Ds has one in his room so that if he wants to watch something that may scare dd, like walking with dinosaurs he can do so.
We have one in the living room so that we can watch tv once the children have retired.
We have one in the playroom which has no ariel but is for the wii.
We have one in our bedroom so we can watch porn in bed.

That's 4 by my count.... all of which are watched in moderation, although dh would like more of the last one .

Well, this thread has been an education.

also lots of games are played on telly (wii playstation etc.) so it's not only used for watching tv as much as it used to be

Yes, and also as you Profiterole and FIS have pointed out - as others have - they're used for lots more than just watching telly. There's the digital radio, to be a screen for games etc and for dvds too.

I can completely imagine putting one upstairs when they're teenagers. For different TV watching, and also for games etc.

Though we'll probably all be watching TV on our computers by then.

When I write 'you' I am being lazy. I was making a sweeping statement, aimed at anyone who didnt agree with me

We have 4

kitchen (so I can listen to digi radio whilst cooking) and ignore the dc

sitting room (so I can watch West Wing dvds) and ignore the dc

our bedroom (so we can watch porn) actually hangover from when my mum was ill and staying in our room and she coudl ignore the dc

playroom (so they can watch elderly videos) and ignore me

so yes, can you see a pattern here?

I do think cheapness of tvs mean they are treated as bit of furniture rather than high tech equipment. Cheaper than an ipod or Nintendo ds now!

Who? Me? No, I don't think that.

Mine watch loads of television. We all like television.

I'm just interested in why everyone has so many sets.

took 10 years off not added them on!

I tell you what, I added about 10 years on my life when I put a TV in dd's room so they could play the Wii in there rather than downstairs.

It's also not connected to anything so all they can do is play the Wii on it (and we only have one TV that is actually connected to an aerial for some reason but tbh, given the teeny size of our house, any more tvs would look obscene).

You are half right there 100 times . The tv in our guest rm is a cast off from the living room (my dh is a sucker for the latest technology )

Do you think the reason why more poorer children have tvs in their rooms is because their parents dont give a toss about them? That they want to lock their feral offspring away and forget about them so they can skin up in the shag piled front room and neck a few special brews?

The middle class parents obviously adore their gifted, slim children and want to spend every minute of every day with them or taking them to improving activities?

Or maybe quite a few poor families live in dog rough areas and they dont want to let their kids out after dark? There are no decent organised activities or if they are they are too expensive for the families to participate?

There are lazy, bad parents who are middle class and lazy, bad parents who are working class. Some parents dont want to spend time with their kids so they shove them in a room with a tv. Most do not. I think those families are probably pretty evenly spread. But the more affluent parents I know would rather die than admit their kids have a barbie princess dvd combo in their bedroom.

Personally I think tvs are fine in moderation. IF any of my kids have turned them on when without asking their tvs have been removed. This does the trick.

a PP mentioned that you wouldnt know if even a well behaved, trusted child watched a bit of sneaky late night telly. Well I dont know about the rest of you but my house doesnt have seperate wings AND I go to bed after my children. So I do know if they have switched their tvs on .

What I do find a bit odd is that I have friends who will allow their toddlers to watch charity shop videos of 90's kids shows but will not let them watch live tv. Presumably if their children were toddlers during the early 90's (as were my kids) this would have been unnacceptable? Kids tv is much better now IMO. More diverse, more educational and seems better researched to appeal to kids. I am talking about preschool stuff not pseudo surreal, kidadult crap cartoons of course

I think televisions used to be very expensive, and were a huge outlay. Now you can get cheaper combi sets - which are even bought as presents - but nobody can quite bring themselves to throw away the old sets - that seems decadent. So that's why there's such a lot of televisions?

Who knew!

In conclusion, it really isn´t significant if childen have their own TV in their bedroom, or even if there is a TV in every room in the house. Nobody ever switches them on anyway!

We have four TVs, but not in the bedrooms.
Main one in living room
one in the kitchen
one in the playroom/guest room
one in the playroom/conservatory attached to a ps3

It's not very nice going to peoples' houses and the TV is taking priority over the people in the house. The telly is just sort of on and making a noise and nobody is actually paying much attention.

I don't like TVs in bedrooms. It's got nothing to do with the size of the house. It has a lot to do with how many tellies you are prepared to buy.

How about keeping a toaster in every room, just for those munchy moments?

We watch TV here. We all like TV. But MrsJammi - why not get rid of four or five of them then?

It's interesting though, because if I go into a house with lots of televisions, I do assume lots of television is watched. And this clearly isn't the case - but we do watch quite a lot, with our one set! <1963 emoticon> They've become a kind of accessory or piece of furniture - do you think that's the case?

Actually we have, 6 TVs in our house, and I can quite honestly say that personally I do not turn the TV from one day to the next, DSS and DS1 had theirs for various birthdays, the one in the middle room hasnt been on for months but it was an old one it seemed a shame to throw away, DSD wanted one for christmas one year, the one in the main room was initially the only one in the house (harping back to when there was just me and DS1, although he did have one on and off since 2.5) and the one in my room I only watch if I am having a bad night with the baby.

At the moment, in the house of 6 TVs, none of them is on, DSS is outside cleaning patio, DS1 is at rugby training, I am in the living room posting on mumsnet while waiting for food to cook and DH and DS2 are on the front drive chatting to the neighbours, after tea, DSS will probably go out, about 8 ish DS2 will go up with DH for his bath, DS1 and I will chat for a bit, at 9, me DH and baby will head to our bed for the nightly ritual of trying to get the baby settled and DS1 will finally get to turn his TV on.

Thats a fairly typical day in our TV addicted household.

Actually we have, 6 TVs in our house, and I can quite honestly say that personally I do not turn the TV from one day to the next, DSS and DS1 had theirs for various birthdays, the one in the middle room hasnt been on for months but it was an old one it seemed a shame to throw away, DSD wanted one for christmas one year, the one in the main room was initially the only one in the house (harping back to when there was just me and DS1, although he did have one on and off since 2.5) and the one in my room I only watch if I am having a bad night with the baby.

At the moment, in the house of 6 TVs, none of them is on, DSS is outside cleaning patio, DS1 is at rugby training, I am in the living room posting on mumsnet while waiting for food to cook and DH and DS2 are on the front drive chatting to the neighbours, after tea, DSS will probably go out, about 8 ish DS2 will go up with DH for his bath, DS1 and I will chat for a bit, at 9, me DH and baby will head to our bed for the nightly ritual of trying to get the baby settled and DS1 will finally get to turn his TV on.

Thats a fairly typical day in our TV addicted household.

Have to say I agree with 100x's posts on this thread. Also, I can't believe all these totally trustworthy children - DS (10) would be watching completely unsuitable TV at any opportunity! I could probably give dd1 a TV and she wouldn't watch it too much, but I still reckon she'd be watching unsuitable stuff on the sly. That's what kids do...isn't it??

my ds has a tv in his room and he is 4. it wasn't my choice in the first place, his great aunt gave it to him without speaking to me about it first and didn't have the heart to say no, but to be honest it doesn't really bother me now.

he can only watch dvds on it as no ariel and he watches a film in bed on saturday nights as a treat and something different to a book

i dont think there is anything wrong with this for my ds although i know many parents will disagree.

tips hat too 100x

Then why for the love of god do you have four televisions in the first place if you never watch them all that much? That's what I don't understand.

If everyone is off training to be footballers and gymnasts and cycling to scotland in the weekend and being incredibly winningly sociable with their friends- why have four televisions?

Is it because for the half hour you do watch television - you want to do it in separate rooms? Or watch your own thing?

I completely understand tv being a part of healthy, balanced family life. But I don't get why there have to be four. It's so decadent. Who needs four televisions? Why have a television in every room? Are they now like a piece of furniture? This is a sincere question.

barnsleybelle - why thank you. Usually if I join a thread it stops, so nice to be included in a discussion!!! One day I hope to have far more tvs than we currently have (two) - I want one in the kitchen, one in the study and I would love one in the bathroom so I can watch what I want with a glass of wine and bubbles. I am sick of having to watch alien films (dh), scooby doo (dd1), gymnastics (dd2) and cbeebies (dd3). I only get to watch what I want about once a week!!!! I would also love one of those beds where the TV rises out of the footboard. Brill. But then we are a three DS lite househole - but thats another thread altogether (I am obviously fully paid up working class with children that cant talk or read, with no social skills!)

DD has a TV in her room, and has done since she was about 3. However, in truth, she hardly ever watches it, in fact, the first time she used it this year was a few weeks back when she was quite poorly and needed to stay in bed. She watched her Numberjacks DVD and The Sound of Music.

It doesn't seem to have done her any harm, she is in the top 5% for her reading and writing and would much rather be in the garden playing with her bubble machine than indoors watching TV.

Everthing in moderation!

I know a man who drank three bottles of whiskey a week, smoked 20 cigarettes and day, had one lung and lived to 104 years.... all that stuff they say about smoking and drinking must be utter shit.

Good grief.
Some tv is fantastic, some is rubbish. My dd sign language is developing nicely, but I don't want to watch Mr Tumble. Ever!

We have 4 tvs (mostly acquired when people have upgraded!) but no aerial, so all tv is watched by decree/approval. If that means they slump on my bed to watch it, so be it.

BTW I always assumed adults had tvs in their room to watch porn - is that true

frogwatcher... you are my hero. This is what I and a couple of others have been trying to say. You have described it wonderfully.

We too are a 4 tv household but actually spend less time than most I know watching them.

my dd 3 has a tv in her room but no areal so all she can watch is videos she loves it . and she knows how to put the vidoe on to play it

I havent read the entire thread but will return to do so . I know a family who have a tv in every living room in their house - firmly middle class - so I think that means 5 TVs. Their eldest son is training for professional football, aged 10, their dd is a fantastic gymnast. All the family cycle miles on weekends etc, and are all fit and healthy with sociable pleasant children. The kids appear to watch TV they really want to watch. Compare with the family down the road who have one small tV in family lounge and have the attitude TV should be restricted. The kids seem TV obsessed as they dont get to watch a lot, and end up watching loads of crap with the parents such as golden balls, emmerdale etc just to get some TV time in!!! They too are wealthy middle class. Its not about how many TVs are in the house or where they are, its about what is watched and how and if there are other interests. Most of my friends have playrooms for their children and studies for the computer etc. They all have TVs in the playroom, and most of the computers have a TV card in so you can watch TV in the study too. However nothing in bedrooms so thats o.k. then!!!

It's also chewing gum for the eyes

'72% of working-class children have a TV in their bedroom compared with only 54% for the middle classes.'

...... that's because they have one in the 'playroom'

Have to reply because once upon a time I thought TV's in bedrooms for children under 13 were bad news....... I still think children watching TV to go to sleep is terrible as is unlimited watching/going from one screen technology to another without doing something in between is not good for children. ......Then I got DS and the autism that goes with him.

DS now has a tv because we don't necessarily want to listen to his programmes and we have an open plan downstairs. Sometimes he has to compromise and not watch what he wants down here, sometimes we have to compromise and let him watch TV down here and sometimes he has to watch what his sister watches. He is learning lessons about thinking of others but if he really needs to chill he can do it upstairs.

Second it improves communication in our house. DS and DH can watch the same sport in different places which they then talk about. Otherwise DS talks all the way through. If you have ever tried to get a child with autism not to do this it is impossible equals arguments and results in less family harmony not more.

No, no, no, no, no.
It ruins the family dynamics of togetherness, encourages separation, inhibits communication. Adverts are root of all evil because they work on such a subliminal level. If they have a TV now and you monitor it, it may be OK, but soon they will grow older and even more separated from the rest of the family, your embargoes will only fuel arguments. Compromise ( both theirs and yours) are part of living together and they will learn to respect and appreciate not only TV but you too.

OP, I still have no idea why children need their own TV, over my dead body that´s for sure. And the idea of 2-3 year olds watching on their own is slightly disturbing to me.

Watching TV is not akin to devil worshipping but is a BIT of an evil to me. When I set foot in the UK I am always horrified by the shitty children´s TV programmes and the fast pace of the advertising. I don´t think my child is missing anything though she has the choice of a few DVDS.

A BBC TV programme recently took away TV from a number of families for an extended period. The children were all HAPPIER for it in the end, the parents confessed they missed it and hadn´t realised how they depended on TV as a babysitter. Being with their children more meant they didn´t have time to get on with other things..

Nah. I'm not that bovvered. It's choice, really.

< taps fingers, and thinks abraid is tracking down more stats >

Tell them 'no' bad luck, you don't get to watch what you want all the time. Other people live in this house - there has to be a compromise. The adults have to compromise too.

Yeah, I rememeber 'compromise' from when I was a kid. I bet it hasn't changed much since.

We'd be watching something that we waited all week for and my dad would come in, turn it over 'just to see what's on' stand there for 5 mins then walk away.

Grumpy... I thought you had deserted us, wouldn't blame you mind, it's just the same old same old nonsense.

abraid. Lovely stats... but nowhere does it say how much time is spent actually watching it... EG All of the 54% may watch masses of tv alone in their bedroom where as half of the 75% may watch a large amount.

The stats mean zero in my book. Ds can go for days without turning it on... So he is one of the 74% but the 54% may have it on every night.

Gosh, I went away for a while to watch Wimbledon go shopping and feed and change DD3 and it's still the same arguments.

I am not denying that there are some kids who spend way too much time watching TV/playing Grand Theft Auto/scamming people on Ebay in their rooms.

Having a TV in their bedroom does not automatically mean that children become hollow-eyed degenerates.

And I was terribly smug about DD1 earlier, but she is brilliant.

<waves at Barnsley>

Oh, and here's the link:

www.psych.lse.ac.uk/young_people/press.html

'it does not depend on:
what class you are'

Here's an extract from a recent survey:

'72% of working-class children have a TV in their bedroom compared with only 54% for the middle classes.'

Actually the more I think about it, the more this thread sounds increasingly like everyone thinks it's the perfect solution to a problem - we don't all want to watch the same thing, let's buy another TV, let's have one each.

I don't get that. Tell them 'no' bad luck, you don't get to watch what you want all the time. Other people live in this house - there has to be a compromise. The adults have to compromise too.

It's weird. All this satisfying of individual desires by buying MORE and MORE of the same thing.

I've got 4 children who range from 16 down to 4 -all of whom like to read, go to clubs , chat, do sports, chat some more etc etc ( as loads of posters have said before!!)

The 16 year old has never been that into telly or games but the 14 sometimes likes to watch films, or play on his playstation , particularly when he has friedns over and whats suitable for 14 year olds usually isnt at all suitable for my 4 year old!

Thanks posie - does that show that it affects literacy levels or family/social development as well?

Goosey, there are lots. National Literacy Trust being one.

Does anyone know if there is actually any evidence of television in bedrooms leading to poorer family life?

My dcs (6 and 4) don't have them, have never asked for them and I hope they never will. They don't have play stations or watch DVDs much either - not really as a point of principle, it is just the way things turned out. They read a lot and play imaginative games.

Sadly, my son has poor social skills and often does not interact well with his peers. Dh and I sometimes get fed up of interacting with the kids and are snappy at them as a result. Perhaps I should encourage them to watch more television!

Oh I've got an unsociable ds without a TV in his room! But unfortunately he's not fat or stupid, so might not defy the profile in a helpful way.

I think my dc watch quite a lot of telly, and they do other stuff too. I'd worry about having more screens than the one TV we have downstairs, because I think it'd up the 'screen' time we already have. And while they are looking at screens, they are not doing something else. I think TV is great, I like watching it with them - I don't think it's THAT great though.

Probably I'm with balloonslayer, if my ds had it in his room I think he's spin off into a vortex of screen fixation. The other two dc would not. I don't think he'd moderate it as well as all these other children who are also SAT stars and keen sports people and wildly sociable. I think he'd never come out of his room again.

There are not there's
[must stop watching TV emoticon]

Most people on this thread have very clearly said that they don't fall into the stereotype that the research suggests. I do have a 'eeewww' response when I hear about children having TVs in their rooms and it does conjure up images of dcs shut away watching endless TV. I'll bet that there's lots of people I spend time with who have a 'middle class' TV tucked away for 'good' use in their dcs bedrooms.

I'm not saying that all TV is bad or trying to offend but I am responding to an earlier post and then many others that have claimed that it cannot possibly be true that TV activity has trends based on class/education.

haha I just read page one and posted then read all these people defending themselves posts lol

We have a tv in our room and DD1 has one in her room, she has a story everynight, could talk from an early age, she is out playing most days if we are not doing anything as a family and she is a bright and clever girl, she has had a tv since an early age she likes going to bed as she likes watching it for a bit before she sleeps. I dont see that this is a problem for my DD.

pretty much everyone I know in RL watches a fair bit of TV, from poor uneducated types <<resists urge to come overall OliverTwist in sarky fashion) to the Prof nextdoor. Many peopplejusthaveit on but don'twatch it- I dosometimes, I don't like thequiet- my parentsare thesame andhave it on for backgrondwhilst being avaricious readers. It's justtheirway.

All that mattersishow you use it- if you're combining with other things and notsat in front of JK all day gawping (I claim excusal whilst bf ) and don't own any books then it's possibly an issue

If you also do lenty of other things but of an evening after theday is done like to collapse in front of itwith a cuppa or glass then fine. Absolutely no harm whatsoever. Likewise letting your children watch a bit of cbeebies so you can get time to prepareadecent meal or havea shower- as long asyou read, exercise, play then what of it?

Build in extra factors such as elderly people, poverty (which does not indicate low intelligence, ewsp. in this financial climate!, special needs kids who cannot entertain themselves and frankly I suspect 80% of people occupy a trouble free mid roadwith the purists and obsessives spread out over the other 20%

I don't think you have a clue what you are talking about Posie. I certainly don't feel the need to justify anything to you- but think you are upsetting quite a few people with your sweeping generalisations based on 'research.'

Ruby... You're right what a big old waste of money those fools at the national Literacy trust have put into research. What's the point of any research really? After all there are exceptions and so we should forget the usefulness of any research.

I'm sure most people whose dcs have a TV in their room are academics and their children go on to be olympians, there's no research to suggest it but there must be one family out there.

Surely it's no great leap to think that uneducated people do choose the TV as their main entertainment? They're not the only people to watch it but probably watch it more than people who can afford to do other things and see the value in other 'free' activities like visiting a museum.

If it causes obesity maybe I should buy extra to stop my boys being so damned skinny?

(I, I admit, am obese though losing it steadily which IMO is what counts.)

Sink estate? Much like ExPats it sounds LOL, we do ahve a museum though right behind the house which the noys know by heart, and the amphitheatre / Roman Barracks all within 5 minutes jog.

TBH when we're not camping / walking / doing therapies / reading / exploring the area pursuing hobbies well I think tv is fine. And all those years dh worked nights and I was stuck in alone it pretty mich saved my sanity

exactly Ali!

it depends on:
age of child
maturity of child
family set-up
house set-up
parental set-up
parental choice

it does not depend on:
what class you are
what income you have
how clever you are
how well educated you are
whether you are a godd parent or not
whether you child is thin or fat.

Surely it depends on the age and maturity of the child as to whether they have a TV in their room.

Once they are able to make sensible decisions about what and how much TV they watch they should be allowed one.

Grump and Barnsley have said it all really .................. [enigmatic]

People have felt the need to defend themselves because of wildly innacurate negative accusations and assumptions about their families.

Statistics my arse!

No child needs a tv in their room, though I'm pretty sure most of them would like one.

grump... x posts me dear

I think people who have tv's in their childrens rooms are commenting on how active their children are due to the fact that a number of posters have implied that sitting and watching tv alone in a dark lonely bedroom is all they do. .

My children are not allowed to watch tv whilst eating any meals.

When ds does watch tv in his room it most certainly does not mean that we are all in different rooms doing the same!! Goodness me people have some sense.

Ds might want to watch walking with dinosaurs or some other programme or film that my toddler might find scary. It's not that ds is watching age inappropriate programmes in his room, it's that i don't want dd to see age inappropriate programmes in the living room.

DD chases him around like a lunatic and sometimes he likes to retire to his room for some much needed alone time... We need it for goodness sake and so does he!!!

He may go up and read a book, play with his toys or watch tv... his choice.

He does not watch tv just before bed or whilst in bed, it's under his high sleeper so he can't see it from bed anyway.

Any more questions i'm happy to answer.

Flog me, do what you like... i'm a 4 tele owner and i'm not ashamed.

I wasn't making sweeping generalisations I was merely stating the reasons that some may have for not putting a TV in a child's bedroom. Like the research shows it does have negative connotations.

I think posieparker we have felt the need to point out that our children are not fat, antisocial, deprived lardarses because the majority of your posts have been to the effect that children who have a TV in their room are invariably fat, lazy and live in a socially deprived area. Perhaps if you made slightly less sweeping generalisations and accepted that some children can have gadgetry in their rooms but can also lead a full and healthy life, we would not feel quite so defensive.

There is nothing like being made to feel that you are somehow a terrible parent to make you defensive.

It's a tv in a room ffs, we don't beat/starve/abuse our kids.

From my experience tearinghairout, once they become teenagers, they will spend hours in their bedrooms, TV or no TV.

I am very amused by the many posters who feel the need to comment on their balanced lives with reference to books and sports, noone without TVs in bedrooms have felt the need.
It would be quite ironic if we all had fat, antisocial dcs who also watched no TV!!!!

Oooh Grumpy no-one has every called me posh <proud emoticom>

I have always felt uncomfortable about TVs in bedrooms and totally agree with what Posie has been saying.

BUT.. my DTWs are nearly 16 and we have got to the point where one is watching Top Gear while the other one comes in & wants to watch Gossip girl.

So I am thinking of getting another TV. As has been said, when dch are small adults watch after the dch have gone to bed, but now that they are older, know how to read, will do their homework etc, maybe it would make life easier for them, but I still don't like the idea of them cutting themselves off for hours watching Tv in their bedrooms - they already spend enough time up there away from the rest of the family.

Will get one in the kitchen! (But will NOT be having it on at breakfast - can't bear that drivel!)

on saturday we had a chinese takeaway (a first for the dcs) and ate in the lounge in front of a film (cinema night!). the dcs thought it was the most exciting thing in the world (we had popcorn too...), and dd2 went into school on monday and told everybody on the teaching staff... who all commented on it at pick-up time...

@ showering and watching TV (but not Corrie!!) Also @ en-suite, you're posh Walkingwiththighosaurs..........

Oh and forgot to say, sometimes when I am in the shower I watch Coronation Street, because of the postion of the shower cubicle in our En-suite and the TV in the bedroom, you get a perfect view

Insommnia! It sends me off to sleep very nicely!

My DS (age 9) has a TV in his room, he is allowed to watch 20 mins each night, but this is DVD's not TV. He tends to watch cartoon type things. Currently watching Spacechimps. He still likes to bring duvet down when he is poorly and sit on the sofa, so the poster who said this would not happen if they had a tv in the room is wrong.

Oh and we are not fat (size 10) or lazy and we don't eat junk food. We enjoy a variety of programmes and in fact watch a lot of National Geographic, DS has learnt loads from this and watches with great interest.

Oh dear we have a TV in our bedroom too.

I watch it when I'm bf'ing DD3 at 1/3/5am. Insomnia? I don't have time for it

Now DD2, who is 4.5 does not have a TV in her room, she's asked, but she would watch it ALL the time. She does watch the TV in our room sometimes if she's tired and feeble and whining.

I think I am now officially the worst and most chavtastic mother in the world. I obviously cannot be a good parent if I have 3 tv's in 3 different rooms. My poor, deprived children with their bookcases groaning with books and their many sporting activities.

Oh well.

<goes off to buy staffie to replace middle-class border collie, along with many hooped earrings, crop tops and 20 Lambert & Butlers>

Posie, I have heard this, too.

Even adults shouldn't have TVs in their bedrooms. TV watching in bed is associated with insommnia.

(that would be ds1 who does ballet who wants to watch star wars. i would have thought he'd rather watch hsm tbh, but apparently not. despite the fact he was desperately upset he couldn't go the pta fundraiser 'mumma mia' (sic) night...)

and dd2 who is insisting on reading the hideousness that are beast quest. she's 5.

<orders more gender-stereotyping dvds and cancels ballet/swimming/brownies/beavers so they have time to watch>

dd1 has a tv in her room. it's not tuned (from laziness rather than decision lol).

it is truly fab for gender-stereotyping dvds although i do sneak in occasionally for a bit of a trip down memory lane... mind you, ds is causing a bit of angst at the mo wanting star wars various instead of hsm...

mine too are sporty, bright and obsessive readers. i force them into the bedroom with a dvd when they are whining i need to hoover and they are under my feet.

none of them have even asked if they can watch it in the evening. it hasn't occurred to them (they are too busy being middle-classed to within an inch of their lives)

i can't get excited over it tbh. we're moving, and in the new house i think it will probably go in the den/ playroom - but only because we'll have one, we haven't here...

I still don't understand when these children are watching telly in their rooms and not in the lounge, unless people have one room downstairs. Surely that means that all of the household are watching TV seperately??

Have just come back to this and am a bit disappointed that no-one answered my questions. Would be really interested to hear the views of those with TVs in bedrooms.

Also, I realise that TVs can be turned off and parental control is all, but with 3 children potentially watching TV in 3 different bedrooms, that's an awful lot of monitoring. How do those with 3 or more DCs do it?

97% of children from deprived areas (ages 9-13) have television in their rooms in comparison to 50% of their more affluent peers. These children were six times more likely to watch TV during an evening meal. These children are also more likely to watch programs too old for them.

Most studies use very negative language about TVs in bedrooms too, like 'the alarming fact is that 50% of the nations 3 year olds have a TV in their bedrooms. Every wellbeing program about child they take Tvs out of bedrooms and limit time on the family TV too.

Now whilst many don't neatly fit into that box it is a frightening statistic isn't it?

But.... it can be turned off you know....
Ds is 7 with a tv in his room. He watches it when i say, and turns it off when i say.
It's about parental control.

It also depends on the child too, surely.

My two elder DCs are 7.6 and 9.

If DD (7.6) had a telly in her room she would probably only use it to watch educational programmes as part of her interminable "playing schools" with whichever hapless younger child she has managed to capture and force to play with her (usually a kid who hates school who has naively thought that coming over to play with DD would be a welcome change from all that hard work). Her school progress would be - predicatably - unaffected.

However if DS1 (9) had a telly in his room, he would spend the entire day watching endless repeats of Spongebob/Drake&Josh/Hider in the House, playing Playstation, picking his nose/toes/arse and only emerging for meals. We would never see him. His school progress would go right down the drain.

Some people have DCs of one type. Some of another.

And yes of course I have met the year 7 children with the big black rings under their eyes who tell you all about their prowess with Grand Theft Auto, which you can just know guess was all earned during the small hours, with the sound off so Mum and Dad can't hear... DS1 would be like this given half a chance - he can whistle for his telly.

I just don't get the thick, lazy, tv in bedrooms connection. It's surely no more thick and lazy than having an x-box in the house or a dvd player or a wii or a psp or whatever other piece of modern gadgetry we happen to be talking about.

It's the noughties people. Our kids can have a lot more than we had and we don't have to keep them in caves with linen finger puppets and a wind up radio (though I'm sure that too has it's place).

For me, I'm off to watch tv with a bottle of Bolly and a nice bowl of olives and in the morning I'm off to John Lewis to buy dd that portable tv we've been planning on getting for a while.

grumpy

Oh go on then Barnsley. I am just imposing my teetotality on everyone (3 week old baby so still off the booze grrrrrrr). I'll sip tea and you can quaff wine.

I'm watching tv too.......

We are soon to join the Dark Side. Mostly because of a massive age gap between kids and frankly am sick of world war three after tea every night.

And would occasionally like a bit of peace and quiet.

Have not braved it yet though.

grumpy... can i settle down with wine instead . Oh yes, and the tv is on too.

Erm DD1 has a TV and a DVD player and a Laptop and an XBox in her room.

She just got level 5's in her SATs (the highest level), she's got a reading age of 14 (she's 11 BTW) - she just chose to spend her hard-saved pocket money on 3 books. Oh and she's on the school football and netball teams and does martial arts twice a week. Oh and she likes spending time outside on her bike or the trampoline.

She watches tv on a Friday evening or the weekend, uses the laptop for supervised homework sessions (we have endless 'nanny' programmes to stop her getting on the tinterweb without our permmission) and the Xbox is used very rarely.

She does watch lots of tv though, downstairs with me and DD2 and DD3, I grew up watching lots of tv and my mum has a degree , she's a feckless single mum though......

Poor little thing, she's so uneducated, stupid, thick, poor, lazy..............

I'm some of the above though, only GCSEs for me <really thick/poor/lazy/delete as appropriate emoticon>

<settles down with flask of tea and biscuits with che and barnsley>

mummy.. well said.

As is your survey Noonki - admittedly, watching TV for 12 hours a day whilst stapled to the sofa eating only Big Macs and necking fruit shoots is probably going to assist in a bit of weight gain, but allowing children to watch TV away from the rest of the family is not, in itself, going to cause obesity or any other "negative" attributes. Admit it, you are implying that people who allow their kids to watch TV in their rooms are lazy and stupid, and are raising lazy and stupid children. This is simply ridiculous, prejudiced and wrong.

I'm with chegirl and barnsleybelle on this one.

no way, no TV and no computer om their rooms...why? because then I can't monitor what they are watching. Have you seen some of the dodgy vids on youtube? Parents should keep an eye on all this stuff - its their job!

Balloonslayer, my husband hearts you but he's annoyed that he's taken up valuable time getting engrossed in this thread!

He loves your sense of humour. Thank gawd we're happily married or he'd be talking to you about the possibility of a tv in dd's room rather than me

The Atlantic, shiny. Paris, in fact. Madrid. Seville. London.

Ahhh thanks shine but technically I was poorly educated - in Harringey in the 70s .

Expat- loving your 'crossing oceans' line... Images of you, determined expression on your face, single handedly sailing across the Pacific to reach the museum.

chegirl- I think you do yourself a disservice describing yourself as poorly educated. You're not. Can tell it from your posts. Education is not about qualifications anyway.

posie [eye rolling whatever back atcha! ]

My ds has had a tv in his room since he was three. I live in a small flat and my dc would be bored to tears without it. FWIW he is advanced in his reading. I take them out to the park for a couple of hours every day rain or shine and we visit museums and libraries regularly. I live in London so these things are very accessible for us. My dc watch quite a bit of tv and I do worry about that sometimes but they do alot of other things too so it balances out I think.

I don't have tons of money actually but I don't think I fit the stereotypes mentioned on here. This weekend I took my dc to a large open air paddling pool on Saturday for the day and took them on the train to Hove on Sunday. On Wednesday after school we will go to The Natural History Museum We are out and about all the time.

My children have always had tvs in their rooms. I guess we fit the steryotype. I am poorly educated, we live on low income blah blah.

But just because I let my children have a tv in their bedrooms does not mean I allow them to watch it whenever they want.

My children have to ask permission to turn ANY tv on in the house. They are not permitted to go to sleep with the tv on or watch tv after 6 (for the younger ones) or 9 for the older one.

My DS1 is 15 and he has to ask to watch his bedroom tv.

It is not the case that you either have only one tv and care what your kids watch OR they all have tvs and sit up watching the playboy channel till 2pm.

One of my DS's has SN. I allow him to watch more tv than the others ever did. Not to shut him up and get him out of my way but because he gets so much out of it. I have never seen a child so involved with the programmes he is permitted to watch. He uses props and joins in with the story and learns vocab etc. He is 6.

We do a lot with him aswell and do not relie on the tv to educate him but its bloody helpful.

None of us are overweight either and we have several games consuls about the place (I hate the bloody things). And guess what? Even though we are dreadfully non U we dont let the kids play Zombie Killers Mash up the Mall with a bottle of cola rammed in their gobs.

Well, we have 4 tv's. One in the living room, one in our room, ds's room and the play room.
We watch a fair bit of tv, all together and seperate too.
I'm a size 6, dh long and lean, ds very slim and as fit as a lop due to his footie and cricket obsession, dd still a lithe little toddler.
We have a very active social life but also love our tv.

TV=Obesity are not mutually inclusive by any means.

but mummydragon, that's about as conclusive as saying that my granddad smokes 20 a day and is still alive at 93.

Hardly means smokers are less likely to get cancer.

I can assure you that nobody in my family is anywhere near overweight (I'm a size 6), we don't have speech or learning difficulties, and our social skills are not hampered by the fact that we have - gasp! - 2 TVs in the house.

I read a study that concluded that there is a correlation between the number of tvs in a house, the number of hours watched per memeber and obseity.

The more tvs/hours watched = greater obesity (no shock there then)

but the article I read also said that out of the many studies done that only two had a positive outcome for children:

1.watching less than 20 mins a day provided some stimulation, (any more and the effects becamme negative)

2. and communal watching could improve family quality of life.

so having a TV in a room would be unnecessary.

I'll go and try and find it.

I really do admire those parents on MN who are able to single-handedly amuse multiple DC for days on end without resorting to TV. Are you superhuman? Seriously. Coz I love my children to bits but I am human and I need a break from them - and if that means that they sometimes watch TV in a different room from me, well, I have absolutely no problem with that at all. I cannot spend all day, every day, with young children without needing some time to myself. This does not make me lazy/a bad mother/a monster. Even if my DC were old enough to read by themselves (as per the OP) I still would not have a problem with this. Same thing with chocolate: I'm not prepared to give it up, which means my DC are allowed to eat it too. I simply cannot see what all the fuss is about.

[rolls eyes emoticon]

Oh, shiny, I've visited many museums. I've crossed oceans and changed continents to see particular museums. Nothing wrong with museums. I just don't see how they are somehow morally superior to seeing other things, including TV or films.

weebob ds has had a tv in his room since he was 2.5, he is now 13, when he is ill, he still brings his duvet down and watches TV on the sofa with me, how does having a TV in his room preclude him from doing that??

<<waves at expat- although somewhat tentatively as didn't realise you had never visited a museum. You're not really my sort of person. >>

My DC both have TV's in their rooms. They don't have ariels in so they can't watch tele, its just to play on game consoles and and on a saturday night they are allowed to watch a DVD for an hour before they go to sleep.

Every other day they are allowed to read for half an hour before they turn their lights out.

I really do get pissed off with people who make huge sweeping judgements about a family just because they allow their DC to have a TV in their rooms!

<< waves back >>

Hiya, shiny! Yes, I'm a poor, deprived, uneducated thicko living in a conservation area sink estate who also allows her children to watch TV. I watch it, too. I am so unimaginative and thick I don't know how to read at all.

The nearest museum is fairly far from here, and it involves either driving much farther (somehow I came to know the difference between further and farther, but it's a miracle that escapes my pea-sized brain) or a ferry crossing, so we yokels have to do what we can.

I can't believe some of the bollocks being spouted on this thread.

I'm not poor, I'm well educated, I do not live in a deprived area, I'm not dead common (well, not so you'd notice in public) and my children aren't sent to bed from 5pm, out of my way, to watch inappropriate TV in their rooms.

I'm just normal. And make normal choices, one of which is to allow my kids - well, my 2 year old- to watch his DVDs in his room.

Somepeople on here couldn't be more up in arms if I posted I was thrashing them nightly with a big stick.

Good post BS.. How are you by the way?

Checking out the link you texted BOF, just as soon as my little guy has finished watching The Exorcist in his room.

Waves to VT.

And Bella.

Well maybe that says a whole lot about the sort of people you know!

FFS, I am writing ENGLISH right?
I said the only people I know.

posieparker - The only people I know whose dcs have TVs in theri bedrooms watch an awful lot of TV, dcs watch inappropriate programs aimed at older children and watch TV way past, what I would consider, an appropriate time.

You don't know me, so don't assume and generalise.

Oh and when we did that tanya Byron thing back along, she admitted to using the TV sometimes for her child whilst she worked (was part of the study group thing)- som moderation is fine IMVHO

As Dh is off work ATM when I am on MN either the boys are at school and ds4 asleep, or DH is playing with them. Or they are watching TV. A little is fine IMO.

Noone is saying that all TV is bad, most people are explaining their reasons behind hating the idea of a TV in their children's bedroom.

Perhaps when people are on MN their dcs are reading alone and playing together???

I think most people assume, wrongly, that TV in a bedroom is to shut children away, make bed time easy, let the whole family enjoy a range of programs at the same time??? The only people I know whose dcs have TVs in theri bedrooms watch an awful lot of TV, dcs watch inappropriate programs aimed at older children and watch TV way past, what I would consider, an appropriate time.

When I spend a long summer at my parents (which on a good day is as cool as 32degrees) my dcs have a TV in their rooms as their lounge area has crap AC and my parents like a little peace and quiet in the main lounge.

Well mine don't have a TV in their rooms, they ahd DVD's but they trashed them.
DS3 has a PSP with 2 films available.

Neither do we: just wouldn't use it.

However....... I may let ds1 have one after he turns ten. He does read- reading age has doubled 5 years in past year with the literacy scheme they are now using- but due to his ASD he sleeps very poorly so we may let hi9m have one with appropriate child controls. As its either that or nightkly meltdowns/ trashed bedrooms / da,aged siblings it's worth it I think- heck if it works DH and I might get our first hour off since November 2007 LOL! gotta be worth it!

MummyDragon - but please please don't generalise - thank you, you have hit the nail on the head there...

'MN activity is not subjecting children to TV is it?'

But it's hardly reading and talking to your children, either.

weebob is right, there's this idea that TV is all bad and children shouldn't be subjected to things like TV.

BalloonSlayer if you're ever in Bournemouth, can I buy you a coffee?

There is quite a sinister undercurrent to some of these posts - that parents who allow their kids to watch TV in their bedrooms are lazy/bad parents. To my shame, I used to believe this too, until I had a chat with a mum at my son's school. She is a single parent, works part-time, and lives in a flat with her DS (a very lively aged 5) with no garden. She has no family living nearby to help her, and the exP is not a part of their lives. She allows - gasp - the 5-year-old to have a TV in his bedroom. If she didn't, she would probably go insane. Can anyone honestly say that they wouldn't do the same thing if they were in her situation? Honestly?

My kids don't have TV in their bedrooms, as they have no need for them - but they do have a shared TV in the playroom and I think they benefit greatly from this. And, re. some of the above posts, my DH and I are privately-educated, have Honours degrees and we are certainly not "poor" so we don't fit the absolutely dreadful stereotype that some of you are peddling. I can see why you are, but please please don't generalise so much - there are always exceptions to everything.

When I was little I didn't have a tv in my room. When I was little and ill I was allowed to bring my duvet onto the sofa and watch tv.

I do this with ds and he thinks it's great.

If we had a tv in his room we wouldn't be aable to do that

2004 National Literacy trust says the same thing.

PP, 1991 is not 11 years ago

Expat, I was responding to a post.

MN activity is not subjecting children to TV is it?

'That's not to say less well off people are thick, uneducated and unimaginative it's just more likely that they will watch TV.'

Yes, because all TV fans are thick, uneducated and unimaginative.

LOL at all these 'we don't have a TV' ponces and then if you look at their name they spend hours and hours on MN alone.

PP 1991 is nearly 11 years ago your not serious.... Watch MTV cribs see how them rich people watch TV in the bath whilst there having a wee!!!!

My Friend is quite rich he has a TV in every room in his 8 Bedroom house including his GYM his 3 year old has a bigger TV than me in her bedroom and she can switch it on herself using the remote loool

Please not all poor people watch TV they can't afford the TV licence

I also was a deprevied child I think I was allowed to watch 20mins of TV on a evening even in the winter no TV in bedroom now I love TV I could list you what I watch on a daily basis.... So maybe not letting children watch TV is worse for them when they get to adulthood!!!!

Until a few weeks ago, we only had one tv, downstairs. Now we have a small one with DVD player built in, in the SPARE room, for my cousin who is coming to stay for a few weeks. DDs will not be having tvs in their own rooms for some time to come. DD1 is 5.5, DD2 is 9mo.

Plus also I would really like to be watching the news with them - children can watch things and be quite upset/worried about them. It's fine if you've got the kind of child who'll come straight to you and ask about it, but a lot of children wouldn't.

LOL Balloon!

Of course they have to have a T.V in their room. No adult should be made to watch iCarly [shivers]It's inhumane.

Our television is only switched on once a day to view the news (BBC of course) followed by Newsnight.

The DCs are welcome to share our viewing but prefer the "dumbed down" approach, entertaining each other by performing Shakespeare plays through the medium of organic cotton finger puppets. The theatre itself was fashioned from a redundant Abel and Cole box. DD (7) is just beginning to sew another set of curtains for it as she feels that the comedies do require a different colour palette to the tragedies in order for their qualities to be enjoyed to the full.

The thing that concerns me is not being able to explain or give context to things that they're watching if they're upstairs in their rooms watching TV alone.

For example, DS loves watching Top Gear which is on pre-watershed. Last night they had a piece with Stephen Fry in which he described an app on his iPhone called Grinder which you could use to identify "cruising homosexuals" in the vicinity. As it was, DS wasn't watching it, but if he had been, I could have answered any questions etc. I know you can level the same criticism at book-reading but it's easier to keep an eye on them reading one book over a number of days as opposed to many different programmes on one evening.

None of us have got televisions in our rooms. Sometimes I think I'd like one so I can go to bed and watch television rather than falling asleep on the sofa.

Don't be so ridiculous, why would it be out of date have class distinctions and values changed enormously, no I think not.

1991!? - that study is obviously incredibly out-dated and no longer relevant.

Vinny, you will have to get a copy of the Echo tonight for my email to make sense...then again, it will probably be on Granada Reports if you can't bear to read

Comstock and Paik 1991, just one of the studies that I could find quickly that says less affluent people are more likely to watch more television that more affluent.

DD has a tv in her room but has only had one for about 2 years (she is 13). It is not plugged into the aerial, is a DVD/TV combi which my mum bought her for Christmas a couple of years back. I wouldn't really have wanted her to have one when she was little, but don't mind now that she is older. She likes to watch a huge load of crap which I wouldn't want to (she has just borrowed the box set of Midsomer fricking Murders from my MIL fgs - she can watch that in the privacy of her own room thank you very much!)

Having a telly has not made dd reclusive - far from it! She is very sporty and social.

There is only one other telly in the house - in the sitting room - and there is a Playstation 3 there as well, however all of us are lousy at games sop it is only used as a jumped up DVD player and the only Playstation games we have are Sing Star and Guitar Hero!

link please vinny..

BOF i cant check hotmail in work (blocked) will have to read it later (hope its not important?)

gah, i am being bashed by the bookworms, been told i must be dyslexic, ignorant, stupid, low vocab all because i dont enjoy a good novel

It is about choice - not bad parenting, not bad sleepers, not watching too much tv...

It's none of my business - I know that.

But if I were to think about it, then it would suggest to me:
- the children don't have good sleep habits and TV is being used as an easy way out; or
- the parents watch a lot of TV, so they want to be watching at the same time as the dcs.

Neither of these are features I would like to be part of my parenting. But I don't think people are the worst parents on earth if they end up in that situation - it's pretty common.

Still, no way in the world my dcs will ever have one in their bedroom. (But I wouldn't countenance one in any bedroom...)

We don't have a TV. However that said I watch tennis on line, the occasional programme on iplayer, and DD watches Peppa Pig on DVD sometimes in the evening and Postman Pat on a Saturday morning, but only after she turned 2. So, to all intents and purposes we do have one I guess, we don't happen to have an actual television set. I feel in my experience with a toddler, it is tempting to put it on, even though my more thought-out longer-term parenting views are not to use it. I would imagine that would amplify for me if I had a television, and more again if I put one in her room.

Psst, Vinny, I have emailed you...not about tvs though

My 13 yr old has one in her room, but she only watches it if I can't bear another Friends re-run downstairs. My DP's son (14)has one in the room he sleeps in when he visits too because I don't particularly enjoy Match of the Day. The kids generally prefer being with us in the evenings though and we might watch a movie or play boardgames.

Basically I'm glad the tvs are there because it means I can sling both the older kids upstairs by ten at the latest and then smoke and shag on the sofa spend quality time with DP. Everybody's happy with that arrangement.

It seems, although I maybe wrong. That the majority of people on this thread have older children.
My ds is 4 and a half. I don't want a tv in his room becuase I believe his room, at this age is for playing in and sleeping in. His space. He watches tv in the living room, when he's tidied his room and if I think he's been good enough during the day.

I'm a cruel mummy!

When he gets older then I may let him have one. Right now though it's not really on the agenda.
I know my sis had a tv in her sons room from 3. It's certainly done him no harm at all. He's an incredibly bright child and an amazing gymnast (I'm just bragging now).

I certainly don't judge anyone if they do have tvs in their kids room. It's not my place.

We got ours from freecycle - it's the only one we have in the house. I can't see ours having a tv in their room anytime soon and don't really know why some do but then they're only tiny now so who knows what I'll give in to in the future.

We don't watch it much but only have the 4 channels and they are all crap.

you can get free TV's on freecycle

Tv's are not cheap either

ruby... I know... and imagine the cost having it on 4 tv's

'poorer families are more likely to watch TV' what bullshit Pah!

Do you know how much Sky costs these days!!!!

mumeee... I know that ds doesn't need a tv in his room just like we don't need one in the living room, just like we don't need a microwave or a radio. We've got them all because we want them. You say your dd's didn't get televisions until they were 15. Why 15? What danger lurks from the tv that eradicates itself once 15 hits them? Just curious...

They don't need a telivision in thier room. DD2 and 3 have got TV's in thier room but they are 19 and 17 and didn't have them umtil they were 15.

YABU - Why do you care?

People in higher demographic households watch less TV....

tabitha.. You've missed a good few weeks of house i'm afraid and it's been better than ever! Cuddy and House snogged last week

We have sky plus which stops most arguments. DD (8) has recently taken to watching dvds, a new development, and we have discussed whether a tv in her playroom would be a good idea. We're undecided right now though.

I can see good points and bad. I don't think she'd watch it much more, once the novelty wore off, but it would give her choices on when to watch stuff. I do think, however, that it could make her more isolated.

The point is, though, that at some point in the not too dim and distant future it'll be laptops we're thinking about, surely? And laptops these days mean free access to whatever viewing is available. That I find slightly more worrying to be honest. Tv's? No big deal in my book.

Whoa I'm not posh, easy to guess..... but I did sociology as part of my University studies.

We have 4 tvs - 1 in the lounge and one in each bedroom. There was a time when the two kids sharing a room also had their own tv each making a total of five.

My DH is like TrillianAstrahasaJOB dad - he has total control over the tv. The tv in our bedroom is one that was being thrown out so it ended up there - only used when my DH used to work shifts and I used to watch that thing with Caroline Quentin in it because it was comfier to watch in bed. I very rarely watch tv - an odd hour of some rubbish here and there. Like Ashes to Ashes!

Two of my daughters very rarely watch tv now and the youngest watches loads of drivel - I'm sure once her social life gets going, she'll forget it too. None of them are fat or inarticulate! They all read lots too.

I had a tv in my room from a very young age, DH didn't and he is the only one to watch it compulsively. Psychoanalyse that!

Makes no difference how many tvs you have or don't have or where they are. You may be able to control viewing now while they're little but that just ain't gonna last.

Ooohhh, i have just read the post that says House is back on, just off to look it up.

I'm actually sat her now in front of my 42 inch plasma, Ds at school, dd in bed asleep. I'm watching last night's house whilst mnetting, with my bumper pack of peanut M&M's. It's bliss.

Oh, and by the way, i'm not poor either.

Loool Yep always VT!! Its been a long while thou at the moment I smell of baby oil!!! and coco butter

Her!

Seriously it was the best investment of my life I love to chill in bed on a saturday morning watching the latest premiere on Sky Movies Also with programmes that are on so late its nice to be in bed an watch them.

here her

I always call here pingpong, i'm sure she smells lovely though

VT - are you calling pingping names

Posieparker your chatting shit!!!! Most museums are free!!!!

I am not poor an I watch alot of TV in the evenings and weekends also just before work!!! Whilst I am watching TV I am on Facebook and working on my company so your common known facts are in fact not true

pingping - now your talking!

pingpong, i want one too

here here barnsleybelle!

<< goes off to get DS2's cricket stuff ready tonight for training whilst DS1 is having is guitar lesson >>

Thats not hard Shiney, everyone is posher than me

YABU!!! Who cares if other people's Children have TV's in there rooms.... I have a 42 inch plasma in my bedroom with Sky I love it

Gosh what silly things some people have said on this thread.... the judgy no tv brigade.
Ds has a tv in his room which he goes to watch when the rest of the family don't want to watch his choice. We have a turn off time at night and yes, i do trust him not to get up and turn it on in the night, he knows it will go if he does.
he's extremely active, plays football 3 times a week and cricket twice. If the urge to visit a museum came over us i'm sure we would just go.
he plays out every night after school until 7pm.
He's socially articulate, a very popular little boy.
Oh and in answer to the op.... no he doesn't need a tv in his room just like we don't need one in the living room.
We have them because we want them.

Common know fact? Really?

Explain to me please why I am well off but have never visited a fecking museum in my life....

I'm quite posh too. Posher than VT anyway

I've never heard of this common known fact, maybe its only circulated among the posh

Museums are cheap

VT, it's just a common known fact that poorer families are more likely to watch TV and not visit museums for example. That's not to say less well off people are thick, uneducated and unimaginative it's just more likely that they will watch TV.

'it's fair to say TV is the entertainment choice of poorer people ' arf

Im not poor (but not rich either) i like watching TV, doenst mean i am povety sticken and uneducated

What Madsometimes said.

We have one TV and the DS's (2 and 4) have to work out learn to share it and compromise on whether Roary or In the night garden gets watched.

Each to their own, but TV isn't a huge deal here. We don't watch a lot - most weekdays the children don't watch any. Early Sat / Sun am - well that is a different story!

YANBU. We have one TV which is in our front room. My children will not have a TV in their bedrooms in the foreseeable future, and nor will dh and I. I would also not feel comfortable about them having a computer, but as secondary school is looming this may be needed eventually.

I am not anti-TV. I just know that my children would watch TV day and night if they could get away with it. Therefore bedrooms are only for books and toys. I also strongly believe that screen time just before bed does not help a good nights sleep.

Going on holiday is a real treat for my dc. They love having a TV in their bedrooms, and I do not stop them watching it then. However, holiday should be different from every day life.

posieparker - we don't watch a huge amount of tv. The tv's are there if they need to be watched. My children do not have a tv on in bed to go to sleep - they are there if they need to relax and want to put a film on. We have a tv in the conservatory so the Wii can be played. Oh and the tv in the room is huuuuuuuge

Whether I have more money than sense is my business not yours

As you were...

Next there will be a thread following on from this on how people spend their money.

DW says she wants a TV in our bedroom though - so may have to think again on the 'no TV in bedroom' rules.

be = bed

My DS (nearly 5) hasn't got a TV in his room but not for want of his DAD trying!

I just don't get this at all. We have five bedrooms in our house - every single one has a TV in it, with the exception of my son's. There is a TV in the wall in our dining room.

The two areas I absolutely refuse to allow a TV are my son's bedroom and the conservatory (to the point where I said I would rather not have one if he was going to stick a TV in there).

I know I am going to have a battle ahead when my son asks for one, too. He can obviously go into another bedroom and watch TV but at least when I put him to be it isn't going to get put on!

TVs in bedrooms are a bad idea as without massive monitoring (why set yourself up for that?)you do end up with children watching it by themselves far more than they should and watching unsuitable programmes. By the time you have teens, they are all off in their rooms antisocially watching their own programmes whilst on their laptops and phones msn ing etc. That is the truth of the matter and that is what will happen.

I don't think that tv in bedroom necessarily equals no family life.

But I do think that it is a symbol of the fact that children are totally over indulged now, and that they grow up with a sense of entitlement to material things and no understanding of the value of things/money.

Because invariably it's not just a tv is it? It's a tv/dvd player/games console, or two/a sky box/laptop and so the list goes on, and befoore you know it young children have hundreds of pounds worth of electronic equipment in their bedrooms and that's before you even look at their toys.

A lot of children are simply given everything they want, and I can't help wondering if there is a link between that and the increase in the number of young people getting into debt, because they simply have to have everything now because they've never been told "no."

Does it really matter who does what with their own kids?!?! This stuff drives me mad..

My DS has a TV/DVD combi in his bedroom and he watches his beloved Thomas DVD's for 30 minutes every night. He then looks at his books with me and goes to sleep. As a lone parent this gives me valuable time to get on with things. He is 2.7. My DD who is almost 11 does not have a TV in her room.

'Need' doesn't come into it..there is little in the way of possessions that children actually 'need.'

Why can't people just make their own decisions without others judging them?

they dont and i wont be letting my child have one, im convinced that i cant go to sleep at a resonable time due to haveing a tv in my bedroon from about the age of 7. i would stay up late and watch it all the time. now i have sleep issues. my mum said i used to sleep well before then..

my ds used to get up at 5am too, he watched tv in the lounge until i got up

mrsruffalo - absolutley. No TV, video games, computers or whatever in bedrooms. Only books.

DSs have plenty of time for that during the day downstairs and we want to know what they are watching or lookig at on the internet. They have special head torches so they can read books in the dark - bit like miners' lamps which they like doing.

This debate does keep cropping up doesn't it? I agree with those who said you cannot equate TV in room with poor family life etc.

My dc both have a tv in their room (AND aerials ) but they are not allowed to just switch it on when they feel like and never have been. It is used mostly when they are ill and stuck in their bedroom tbh, oh and sleepovers! As long as there are rules governing use, then a TV in the bedroom is just fine.

I find it really tempting to use the TV to help entertain the children as it is I have to give myself rules about when it goes on. If they had tvs in their rooms I just know they'd watch far too much. I am not a fan of TV at bedtime especially.

I had a TV in my room from the age of 10, because (shock horror) I wanted to watch different things to my dad (who retained control over the sitting room tv even when asleep).

I only turned it on when there was a specific programme that I wanted to watch. It did not affect my sleep or schoolwork. I did (and still do) read books for pleasure.

I don't understand why having a tv in a child's room means that they would have too much control over what they watch? Why can't people have rules in place that their children must adhere to? If the children can't follow basic instructions from their parents then that is more worrying than having a tv in their room imo!

We have one TV in the house. And that is plenty.

We have one small TV in our house.

We keep it in a cupboard and only take it out for documentaries and Royal Weddings.

In fact I'm not sure I can remember where I put it.

My DH was brought up eating, sleeping and living in front of the TV, I was brought up hardly ever watching it and thinking it was a precious wonderful thing. I hope that my dcs watch enough (1/2 on a school day unless baby is very very miserable and then the older ones are allowed extra time to drown out the noise!) and a movie on a Friday and Saturday morning before drama and Sunday evening we may all watch something. This is flexible and not set in stone, but they're only young and my ds1 (aged 7) loves the TV so it's vital that it's restricted or that's all he would do.
Of course generalising is not going to fit everyone but it's fair to say TV is the entertainment choice of poorer people and maybe there's not so much balance as they can't afford to do much else.
Of course it doesn't really matter where the TV is if it's on all the time! But it's a thing in this house of TVs in bedrooms, if I had one I don't think we'd have four dcs!!!

Why do all you 'anti-TV' Mums assume that having TV's in bedrooms = watching crap.

DP and I don't have a telly in our room and dd won't have one either.

TV's fine in moderation but putting one in her room gives her far too much control over how much/what she watches.

And given the total sewage that passes for tv these days? No chance.

It's part of the reason we have a country full of lazy, fat, celebrity obsessed, inarticulate children.

We have one, small, TV in our household. We hardly ever watch it, though DD does watch DVDs on it.

We don't feel the need for more TV.

I think it's quite a blanket generalisation to imply that if children have a tv in their room then family life is being stifled because of it.

My ds (9) has got a tv in his room for the simple fact that my brother bought a new one and was throwing his old one out. I hate throwing things out , so we took it but we have simple rules in place such as, he only watches if he has permission or in the morning on a weekend.

He asks to watch A Question of Sport on a Friday and the rubbish Saturday night entertainment type shows. Apart from that, it doesn't really interest him.

He is always charging around the garden and only occasionally puts the tv on after school - he'll put it on to watch the tennis (or whatever sport championship is on at the time) and Horrible Histories on a Thursday. So you can't say that he is suffering because he has his own tv!

I know of a family who's dc's were only allowed to watch tv on a Friday afternoon for an hour and one dvd on a Saturday. On Fridays, they used to sit staring at the tv like zombies because they were "allowed" it. My ds used to walk off and go and play in the garden by himself because he didn't want to watch it.

If you make something out to be so out of reach and inaccessible then you can have more problems that way because children will always want what they can't have!

and can i add the same ds who had a tv in his room at 2.5, plays rugby cricket and football for school, rugby and cricket out of school, is a qualified diver and has numerous other interests, having a TV in his room, did not turn him into some sort of unsociable couch potato, its not the TV in the room thats an issue, its how it is used

I think there are a few lessons around TV in my house. It has to be earnt, shared and compromised.

I do think that TV is yet another quickfix, instant bag of rubbish that add more lazy time into our lives. I'm not saying that I don't watch really bad TV and too much, I do. But if you peer into houses all accross our nation you can see the little box replacing family life all over the place.

no-one needs TV.

but then, a fair few years back, people didn;t understand the need to a bathroom in the house, what was wrong with a lavvy at the end of the yard, or children never needed their own beds, let alone their own rooms............my dad used to share a bed with his two older brothers from stories he used to tel me before we fell out.

so, now we all have bathrooms, we all have our own beds, we all (most of us) have our own rooms, so now we all sometimes get TV's in our rooms.

We have one in each bedroom (so thats 2) they hardly get used but are there incase, they get used more in winter, i like to have my 42in plasma to myself so got to have spare tv's for those who dont want to watch re-runs of come dine with me

mrsr
yes he is.
But I think that there are complicated structures in many families not just mine.
Thats all I am trying to say. Suggesting children should never have one is just a bit OTT for me.
I don't care if they have a tv as long as they are doing loads - reading, playing laughing etc etc.

Anyway - have to go out now. Interesting topic

We have one TV in our house: two children aged 10 and 12. We won't have more sets because we're trying to give the message that TV-watching doesn't figure very highly in our priorities.

It's in the playroom.

posie - thats kind of you

But people do have very complicated lives and i think you are blaming a symptom.

I think it is perfectly possible to have tvs in bedrooms and yet still have a child who is full of life and vigour - who has multiple interests and who is sporty and active.
The parents you are talking about are those who use tv as the main interest - in the same way that some use shopping as an activity. Those who do nothing else - expose their child tro no other interests or activities.
I don'tthink there are many on this thread and the comparison is what is upsetting people.

This thread is about tv when it shouldn't be. We are talking about engaged interested parents who show their children attention - and those who don't. The difference between those two is not the posssesion of a tv

I think Posie is being quite reasonable actually. TV crazy mums much more vicious on here

it didnt make him sleep, it kept him entertained for 2 hours in the morning, so I could at least have some sleep, before I went to work have been up every hour in the night, it was about my need for sleep, bnnot his

posieparker - you a being quite rude and very judgey.

Sorry, post was to mrs jammi.

Correct me if I am wrong Pagwatch, but he is SN isn't he?
Different kettle of fish, I can see why he needs to be entertained for you to spend time with DD

I have had a bad sleeper. I don't see how TV can solve that tbh

mrsr



But I cannot construct an evening around DS2 ( who also can't draw) when I have DD to play with and her school reading to do and three seperate suppers to make.
If I play with DS2 I have to leave DD doing ...what?

We don't have a television at all. Problem solved!

Pagwatch, you have a 'get out of jail free card'.

The thought of other people being depressed about something that I allow my - fit, healthy and sociable - children to have depresses me.

I don't, however, feel the need to justify why they do have the TV in their rooms.

Have to add that I'm pretty sure accross the continent where family life is far more important and meal times are together and life is, let's face it, better I'll bet my TV that their dcs don't have TV in their bedrooms.

Pagwatch- I would suggest drawing or listening to a story CD to anyone else but I can't argue with you because I always love your posts soo much

YABU

I got one for DS when he was 2.5, he was an extremely poor sleeper, waking at least every hour and it meant that at 5.30, I could put a video on and at least get 2 hours sleep. It had no arial and switched itself off when it had no signal, I said he would never have a tv in his room at a young age, but until you have a child that doesnt sleep through the night until he is 5, yo have no idea what desparation it causes.

We now have TVs in DSDs room (13), DS1s room (13) and DSS room (18), as well as our bedroom, there is no way I could cope with the arguing over what channel to watch when I only had the TV in the main room, it was a nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DS1 rarely watches his TV except for an hour or so at bedtime, DSS is 18, up to him what he does really and DSD is usually with friends when she is here.

Our family our business, but regarding youg children and TVs, you shouldnt judge, you have no idea why there is a TV in a room.

YABU

I got one for DS when he was 2.5, he was an extremely poor sleeper, waking at least every hour and it meant that at 5.30, I could put a video on and at least get 2 hours sleep. It had no arial and switched itself off when it had no signal, I said he would never have a tv in his room at a young age, but until you have a child that doesnt sleep through the night until he is 5, yo have no idea what desparation it causes.

We now have TVs in DSDs room (13), DS1s room (13) and DSS room (18), as well as our bedroom, there is no way I could cope with the arguing over what channel to watch when I only had the TV in the main room, it was a nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DS1 rarely watches his TV except for an hour or so at bedtime, DSS is 18, up to him what he does really and DSD is usually with friends when she is here.

Our family our business, but regarding youg children and TVs, you shouldnt judge, you have no idea why there is a TV in a room.

The ds's have a tv in their bedrooms. Have had since they were around 10ish IIRC> I do not want to watch their dvd's or endless game play (ps3 etc) in the living room ta very much!!

ds1 bought himself a 42" super duper telly for his room last year with his wages. Ds2 got his old crappy tv for his bedroom.

distasteful? lol, i reckon some on mn lead very sheltered lives.

Bellavita, You either watch lots of television which must get in the way of other things like talking, playing games and general interaction or you have more money than sense.

noone needs a tv
but my children hbave one in their rooms
so do I

my children do not sit glued to them all day
they dont go to sleep watching them

mrsruffalo
My ds has one in his bedroom.
He sometimes needs to be on his own. He can't read for pleausure and so watching a video calms and relaxes him.
He is not allowed to have it on before bedtime.
Is that ok

( you were looking for someone to give you a reason)

Ooh me too PP. I find it distasteful.

We only have one tv, in the lounge. DH and I don't have a tv in our room, and neither do the DC (9 and 6). I prefer my bedroom to be a calm place for sleeping, and I don't give the kids a choice

I agree chevre- why are people so easily riled?
I haven't condemned anyone.
It's not like I've said the only reason I can think of having a TV in a children's room is to keep them out the way and the house tidy instead of letting them play and make a mess is it?

I just don't think it's necessary. I can't see a point where one would even suggest a TV in a kids room.
No has explained why they deemed it necessary, apart from wanting to watch different things at the same time.
The thought of everyone in their own rroms watching TV depresses me greatly.

On average the children that do best at school don't watch a lot of television and would certainly not have one in their bedroom.
Going to sleep with a TV, which many do, is not good for sleep patterns either.

I always cringe at the sight of a TV in a child's bedroom.

Katiestar, re: Child of our Time evidence - sociable children - the child who was playing a lot of computer games had fast reactions to whiteboardy things, he was also NOT very good at concentrating on other things, and bored easily. Do you not remember the other (farcical)scene where the mother gets in a state when the dad wants to take the child fishing, and she wants him to stay on the nice clean X-Box and not fall in the river and get drowned and or muddy?

i don't understand why teh tv people on this thread are getting all het up no one has been particularily nasty. if youare confident in your parenting and your choices why do you give a dam whether other folk have tvs or not?

I would draw the line at having Sky in their rooms though!

Mine have DVD players in their rooms.
I think its great if they want a bit of a wind down lie in bed watch a disney dvd

brad - that is sooo the effect that it had on me this morning...

Right, am off now to have a coffee with my friend who is over visiting from Spain.

I agree with bella - why is it so bad for kids to have TVs?

My dd is 10 and she is a bright, intelligent, sporty and sociable individual. We spend plenty of time doing things as a family and I don't believe having a TV in her room is having any adverse effect on her.

She is an avid reader, she spends alot of her spare time outisde.

just because she has a TV in her room does not make her a TV junkie.

I'm not sure why I feel so riled by this debate?!

(I'd like to add that DD is 2.)

But come to me in a year or so's time and the answer might be different!

Why are so many people disturbed by who has what tv in what room? Get over it.

FWIW - both my children have tv's and dvd players in their room. We also have one in the kitchen, sitting room and conservatory. My house, my choice.

Everyone's family set-up is different and surely it depends on how many children you have and their ages.

We have 4 TV's in this house!

Mine don't have TVs in rooms, but then we don't have 1 in our bedroom either.

I personally don't want DD to have TV in her room at the mo. TV is such a waste of time IMO. (Doesn't mean I don't watch it though )

Each to their own though.

Mine won't have a tv with aerial in their rooms because when I was young I manged to watch Platoon on my bedroom telly and it traumatised me (someone getting their head caved in with the butt of a rifle IIRC).

I think I was about 11 or 12.

we have one tv. dd will not be getting one for her room.

I have held out over the years. I know that when my DSs say that 'everyone' has one in their room they are only exaggerating slightly-most do. There is no way I would give in-we have an extra one in the kitchen. I would rather get rid of TV completely than have it in the bedrooms.

"It's not like having a TV in their room means they watch more.If you want them to switch it off just tell them to ! "

well yes apart from the middle of the night, sound turned right down TV watching that would occur

who says that if they have one they use it to get to sleep?

Children who played Halo? halo? but that game is vile, certainly not for children.

Child of our time? Don't make me laugh

I suppose if you are talking about computers in bedrooms for games, that's a whole different scenario - but still setting precedent that dcs spend hours away from family group doing something vaguely unsociable.

Ever heard of X box live ,runescape etc ?Actually on child of our time they found that the children who played the most computer games (and we're talking stuff like Halo) were the most sociable)

The thought of Dh and I watching TV in the living room and the children watching TV in their bedrooms at the same time feels me with dread.
There are so many other things to do. Occasionally they will watch a DVD on our TV in the living room whilst I do other stuff or watch with them.

Ds (9) has a tv in his bedroom (no aerial) he uses it to play on the ps2 or to watch dvds or videos

In our house there's 2 adults and 3 kids who all want to watch or do different things and Ds doesnt always want to do what his sisters are (they are 2 & 3) so it saves arguements by him having his own

We also have a tv in our bedroom as Dp cant sleep unless its to a dvd

They don't need one.

I choose to allow mine (two of them anyway) to have one.

So shoot me.

Apart from my 14 yr old the others don't have one but What actually is tne perceived problem of a TV in the bedroom ? and why is it 'better' not to have an aerial
It's not like having a TV in their room means they watch more.If you want them to switch it off just tell them to !

Mine don't and never will.
Firstly we only have one TV so no spare to stick in their rooms and secondly there isn't room for one with all the crap toys and stuff they have up there.

I longed for one in my room as a child, well as a teen really.

in my lotto fantasy house i've got one in the kitchen, one in the utility room, one in the bathroom, one in each bedroom, etc.

so sue me.

lol expat - actually the players I like watching are definitely not eye candy - ivy is laughing because of talk of tennis on another thread

Surely how many/any TVs you have in your house depends on your family.

I can't (yet) foresee a time when I want my DCs to have TVs in their rooms. But, if it seems the right thing in the future then maybe my mind will be changed.

Right now, having not had a TV growing up and never having had one in a bedroom, and with only very small children of my own, I don't see why a TV would go in a bedroom. BUT for other people I imagine it makes sense.

Even with only one TV in the house, DD1 still seems to watch plenty of it some days.

The funny thing is that once you set a precedent you quickly need a tv for EVERY member of the family to avoid arguments, I can remember my mother buying another in 70's because of the terrible rows between my brothers over WHICH PROGRAMME. But in fact it didn't stop them rowing - they just got used to not agreeing on anything.
I remember with pleasure the family programmes we used to watch before she caved in, either you shared the programme or you did something else, listened to the radio, read a book etc, compromised and took turns.
But I suppose if you are talking about computers in bedrooms for games, that's a whole different scenario - but still setting precedent that dcs spend hours away from family group doing something vaguely unsociable.

Also why would you have a highly stimulating piece of electronic equipment in a room where kids are meant to sleep? Or do their homework even?

FAQ watches tennis for the eye candy! Why would anyone else watch it?

yes I watch tennis - but I can't hit a ball with a racket (another thing that I did actually have private lessons with when at boarding school as my house mistress was most concerned that I couldn't hit a ball with a bat/racket etc) .

no aerial on it, but they have one in there to watch their crummy DVDs. it's great when they're ill and they can loll in bed with a gender-stereotyping DVD.

DS1 has one in his bedroom, well its not quite a TV but one of those travel dvd players. He has it solely to watch DVD's when my DS2 (ASD) is kicking off and he needs a little space from him. He doesn't use it every day, and he doesn't have an aerial or game console linked to it.

aibu to not understand why we all have to worry so much about other people's household arrangements?

as it so happens, we only have one TV, and that is a recent acquisition, but I don't seem why everybody else has to be the same as us

if I really think carefully about it, I suppose there might be some people that can't see why you need 6 fishtanks in a house

you watch tennis....

so when they get their weekend PS2 fix you can chuck them upstairs to play it and have the TV to watch Wimbledon

DD (8) has a tv/dvd in her room, no aerial so no tv.
She has it because I do not want to watch Hannah Montana and HSM dvd's over and over and over !!

Children dont actually NEED a tv in their bedrooms but I cant see any problem whatsoever if they do. Why should it be a surprise that so many do?

DD1 gets to watch TV (Beebies or Nick Jnr) in living room. If there is something on that we want to watch we turn it over - but usually what we want to watch is on after she has gone to bed (is only 2.9yo). If she is up late, then we watch what we want.

TV is only on in the daytime if we put it on for her.

May well change as she - and DD2 - get older...

I think it's a bit narrow minded to say if your child has a tv in their room then you don't talk as a family and your DCs don't read.

My dd is 10 and has a TV in her room. Tonight she watched a programme about the solar system which she is the thing she is curently into.

If you don't want your DC to watch TV that's your choice but don's assume the rest of us do it out of lazy parenting.

harleyd
you and me both

we have THREE

oh yes
and the kids are sporty literate, social and clever.

If you have just the one TV do you turn it over to watch something even if the kids were enjoying something?

ask the kids if they could watch tv?

snort

mrsruffalo - if you have a tv, why?

I really don't like the idea of children having TV in bedrooms.

Classes I teach (aged 9-13) seem to be full of children with loads of stuff in their bedrooms. Have also taught younger children with TVs, DVD player etc in their bedrooms.

We were brought up without TV and I was the only person in my Uni house share without one in my bedroom.

In my family we read and talk and talk and talk

Could just put one in the kids room and if the adults wanted to watch TV they could ask if it was convenient to come and watch. (they might have to watch whatever channel the kids happened to be on)

i think peopel forget that there ARE homes where all there is downstaris is a kitchen and a living room and tbh NO ONE wants to watch zack and cody

my kids need a tv in their room coz by teatime im tired looking at them

2shoes glad I am not alone lol

DS has one in his room but with no aerial, just for his playstation. Otherwise it causes ructions when DD wants to watch tv and he wants to play Starwars Lego.

because peopel live in small houses with only one reception room?

What is the diff to bedroom compared to a playroom or a study?

Well when I was younger we had a TV in our room so that when we played the playstation it wouldn't damage the tube of the TV downstairs (It wouldn't have anyway but my mum insisted this was the reason - I think she just didn't want to hear the annoying music). It was also useful when we wanted to watch the Simpsons and she wanted to watch Chris Evans.

But having said that, we didn't have one for years and so had established other ways of winding down before bed etc. I loved reading and still do, so it was only ever used to play the console or if there was a clash of TV viewing. I wouldn't let a very young child have a TV in their room and I don't want one in mine now.

DS2 has one in his room for the PS2 but it doesn't have an aerial so no TV can be watched.

Other than that i don't think kids do need TVs in bedrooms.

you do what you want with your own dc's
mine had one from an early adge my choice

They don't - and neither do adults. And nobody really needs a TV at all: I'd get rid of ours like a shot but dp insists on keeping it.

Definitely don't.

They don't.

Nobody needs a television.

Following on from another thread-I am quite surprised how many kids have a TV in their bedrooms.
Surely they can read to go to sleep?
Or watch the one in the living room?
Come and enlighten me, why do children need their own one?