To be fed up of people talking 'at' me?

[CockOhDial]

I seem to attract types that just want to talk and talk and talk with no listening to anything anyone else has to say and no opportunity for anyone else to get a word in edgeways.

I like listening to people and chatting but I find it draining and boring when it's literally a one way street and the other person doesn't listen to a single word that I say.

It's happened to me a whopping 3 times today; once this morning at school drop off, a mum who talks and talks and talks collared me and wouldn't shut up for 15 minutes until I managed to get away. Then I went into a shop and again the person serving me had verbal diarroea and talked 'at' me about a camping trip he'd been on (it was a food shop, nothing at all to do with camping) for 10 minutes.

Now I've just had a parcel delivered and the delivery man talked at me about his dogs as soon as he saw we had a dog in our garden. I couldn't get a word in and in the end I had to almost shut the door on him, he was like Mr Chatterbox!

I am fucked off with it. Like I said, I love chatting to people but can't bear it when it's literally one person droning on and on and on with zero self awareness or consideration for others.

[sweetstemcauli]

Be more assertive, dear.

[CockOhDial]

I'm crap at being assertive but I need to try harder.

Presumably talkative types get mortally offended when someone can't stay and listen to their drivel?

[CondensedMilkSarnies]

Do a massive , mouth wide open yawn

[myoriginal3]

I'm talkative. I drive people mad. I've such a lot of drivel things to say though!

Adds to new years resolution list..

[user1471461769]

I have this problem too, I have a friend who does it and it drives me mad. I will literally start a sentence, she gets the start of it, interrupts and will go on and on about something similar in her life -without letting me finish my sentence
Last week we were in town and she did it every time I started talking. I find it really upsetting!

[sweetstemcauli]

Presumably talkative types get mortally offended when someone can't stay and listen to their drivel?

Quite often not, OP. They are used to people saying bye mid sentence and trotting off.

[hollieberrie]

I haaaaate this. Unfortunately I have several people in my life that do it! I actively avoid them as much as possible.

Am currently sat in my car in Morrisons car park doing just this (can't go home til after 5 so I can be sure to avoid this person!). The lack of self awareness is just breathtaking with these people.

[CockOhDial]

Oh yes, a total lack of self awareness. Also they all think they're super interesting when they're boring as fuck!

[myoriginal3]

Hi cockodial. I'm not sure we've met. What dept do you work in? Let me guess! I work in sales.....
And on and on and on I go.

[domesticslattern]

I am really interested in this one as I have a theory that it is happening more and more. I can sit by someone at dinner and they can talk literally 90 % of the time. I come away knowing the minutiae of their life and they know nothing of mine.
I wonder sometimes whether it is getting worse as social media puts us generally into broadcast mode rather than the give and take of conversation. An alternative theory is that as I get older, middle aged women are judged to be soooo boring that they could not possibly have anything of interest to ask about.
It is usually impossible to stop someone mid flow; I find instead I just have to move away or make a mental note to avoid the person in future.

[handslikecowstits]

I used to be like you OP until I butched up and now I say, "I'm sorry to interrupt but I'm in a hurry. Speak soon (or whatever). Bye." And walk away/close the door.

[livefornaps]

You must have a lovely friendly face

[livefornaps]

I agree with domestic slattern - Andy Warhol's prediction came true - except we only *think we are famous - but all the time! All of us spouting views, giving knnejerk reactions to situations of whivh we usually have the most basic of grasps because THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW, god what will people DO if I haven't espoused my opinion yet?? And all of these social media "announcements" ...as if the world has been waiting with baited breath for our next update...!

I think it drives people to converse as if they were on a chat show, instead of in real life.

[RamblinRosie]

I once did an ice-breaker as part of an in-house training course where you were supposed to talk to your neighbor and find out all about them (mine was new to the organisation) as I expected, we were then asked to introduce our neighbor to the group.

I told them about his current role, his past military career, his family and his hobbies. He said "This is Rosie, she does data entry."

At the time I was a member of the IT Management Team!

He hadn't paid a blind bit of notice to me, just heard IT, saw woman and assumed. Amusingly, most of the others on the course knew me, so there were a fair few eye rolls.

[IMissGrannyW]

I do a job where I'm supposed to listen. I try and do this, but I'm a gobby cow, with lots to say.

Been doing the job for nearly 5 years (love it). Over the last 2 -3 years, I'm frequently described as "a good listener" and EVERY TIME I think "really???? I think I never shut up" but it happens more and more. Maybe I'm getting better???? I'm honestly wondering if being CONSIDERED a good listener actually MAKES you a good listener, because I honestly don't think I am one, but people around me do???? Go figure!

[Janey50]

I sometimes get this. I think it is more to do with a lot of people being selfish and self-centred these days,than something you're doing wrong. I have noticed that in the last 15 years or so,more and more people love the sound of their own voice and think that they are the only one with anything interesting to say. It gets me down too but nowadays I either just 'tune out' while they chatter on (they are usually so self-absorbed that they don't even notice that you are not listening with rapt attention) or better still,I just avoid them altogether. I just say 'Really sorry,I can't stop,I'm running late for an appointment at the doctor's/dentist/solicitor's,must dash'. I had this happen only 2 days ago when I came unavoidably face to face with a bloke who knows me only slightly through a mutual friend and has decided that I need to know his life history and EVERY SINGLE detail of his latest failed relationship. I would literally be standing there for half an hour saying 'Mm,yes,really?' while not being able to get a word in edgeways. So this time I thought 'Enough!'. And told him terribly sorry but I couldn't stop as I was meeting someone and was already 10 minutes late. He didn't look best pleased. Tough!

[tinselface]

I get this with a woman I work with. She tells you in minute detail about conversations she has had during the day and everything she says is preceded by "and I said.." so it'll go...

Her: "I saw Jane in the office and I said, I said what are you doing for Christmas? and she said, she said I'm off to my mother's and I said, I said that sounds lovely...." and it goes on and on and on and on as I'm edging out of the door (unless she is standing in the way which she often does!)

She's what I call a 'me-me' (let's talk about me and then a bit more about me and then when we're done talking about me, we'll talk about me a little bit more!) It's utterly, utterly boring listening to her. I know all about her family, her woes, her work yet she couldn't tell you anything about me. I dread encountering her and try not to ask her how she is as that will invariably set off another tirade of talking about herself. She has often said she thinks she's a nice person who is very self aware but she's so completely unaware of how her behaviour affects others that she just can't be. She's an energy vampire and one day I'll end up losing the plot and tell her to be quiet in not so I've teens! How people can get to middle age behaving like this is beyond me!!

Sorry... rant over! (Can you tell this woman does my head in?!)

[CheshireChat]

My DP can be like this, I swear he's worse than our 2 year old at times. I just call him out on it and quite often ignore him back- "oh sorry, did you say something, you were ignoring me so I didn't realise we're having a conversation!".

He's a lot better now .

[NearlyChristmasNow]

I know a few people like this too. I'm naturally quite a shy person, not a natural "interrupter".
Sometimes I imagine what it would be like if I was the one doing all the talking, and not listening to or responding to the other person's need to communicate.
I would feel so rude, like I thought that I was more important than they were. They would just be there as a support act to the drama of my life.

[BusterGonad]

If they are boring as fuck OP then you need to grow a back bone and politely get off on your way. Why do you stand there listening? I'm not rude to people but I won't stand there and listen to drivel either, unless it's a friend etc...and then I'll give them the time they need to get x, y, z off of their chest. ^^

[BusterGonad]

Not sure where the ^^ came from on previous post???

[shovetheholly]

I think it's sort of a compliment, in a way, You must bathe people in your attention to the point that they feel that here, at last, is someone who will listen.

However, while this is a wonderful skill to have, it's no good at all if you are busy and need to get away. My top advice is to use body language more assertively - you can send all kinds of subtle messages with it without being standoffish or rude! If you need to go, don't stand like you are rooted to the spot - angle your body away from the speaker and fidget just a little, including taking a step in the direction you want to go. It should be so subtle that the person doesn't even notice it, but it will nonetheless send a subconscious message that should stem the verbal tide!