To be unable to believe how lucky I am and to think it will all fall apart because I don't deserve it?

[Sweetcharlotterose]

We already have a precious ds (6) and desperately wanted a second dc. I won't document my boring fertility related dramas on here as I've already done so before but basically it was not plain sailing to say the least.

Now I find myself 21 weeks pregnant out of the blue. In addition to this I'm having a little girl and whilst I know it's frowned on to admit it I've always always hoped I'd have a daughter.
I just feel like I've been too lucky, I can't believe this is going to happen. I want to thank someone but I don't know who. I feel unbelievably grateful and terrified that it will all be snatched away at the same time.

I can't get my head around it at all. I feel like I don't deserve to be this lucky. I never expected to be here and now I'm here I'm so scared it won't work out I can't even enjoy it.

Please be positive. You've been blessed with one amazing child and you will be blessed with another. Keep your chin up OP. It'll all be fine and I'm sure you deserve it all.

Massive congratulations and enjoy every second!

You've had to wait a long time, and you do deserve happiness. Try to relax and enjoy x

Try to relax and just enjoy it. It's surprising how many people I've met who struggled to have their first child but found the second a breeze in comparison. Chances are good that all is fine if scan was fine.

It's your time in the sun; don't waste a precious second of it worrying

It's ok to be scared but try if you can not to let it overshadow the joy as well.
There is no reason you don't "deserve" to have a second child. It's not even a matter of deserving or not otherwise all children would be born in circumstances where they are loved and wanted!
By the sounds of it it has been a massive struggle to get here. I hope it all goes well for you

Thank you.

We were the opposite way around - no trouble at all having ds but then tried for ages and had treatment which failed for a second dc.

I'm just a bit overwhelmed. Occasionally I feel excited but mostly I feel like I just can't be this fortunate and it's bound to end badly.

Congratulations! Have you only just found out you're pregnant?

No, I've known for 16 long long weeks - it feels like I've been pregnant forever!
It still hasn't really sunk in. I envy the simple joy of friends who are expecting who are skipping around ordering buggies and decorating nurseries. Still, I suppose I was like that the first time around, it's only now I'm more jaded.

Congratulations ??

Sweet I totally relate to your situation. Life dealt us five years between our two DC. It took me ages to get my head round the second pregnancy, I actually asked my midwife when it was all going to go wrong.

What a lovely thread. I hope everything goes brilliantly for you and your family. Try not to worry to much.

Take it one day at a time I know what you mean - after 3 miscarriages this year I am never going to see a positive test and feel anything except mild dread now. If I ever do have a long pregnancy I think I'll be similar throughout. However you've done so well and come so far - this is really lovely news! Although it will probably feel most real when you're holding your newborn, it might be good to make a small list of things you'll need. Perhaps plan to buy them much closer to the time (week X) not because you'll be tempting fate but because you can focus on that as another practical target? And this might not be useful for you, but could you perhaps approach a counsellor to talk some of these feelings through? Infertility and miscarriages are tough to handle and can leave resounding feelings of loss.

I felt that way when I fell pregnant with twins after my 2nd IVF cycle. I hadn't responded well during the cycle, and had "only" had two viable embryos to put back ("they're not great quality so you'd better put both back" in the words of the embryologist). They're now almost 6 years old and I fell blessed almost every day

IME after a long time trying it just feels as though you're never going to get lucky. Then you don't want to accept it in case it's all taken away and you feel like a fool. Please do try to enjoy the pregnancy though - and huge congratulations to you :) Nothing wrong with admitting you wanted a girl either; these things aren't rational and we can't help how we feel. I was a bit the opposite in that I thought I wanted to have boys but ended up having two girls and now wouldn't want it any other way.

Congratulations! I know a bit about the fear to enjoy something. Accepting the good can be hard, I hope you can feel the joy you need and I'm sure deserve