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To only buy one present

(65 Posts)
theweeyin Tue 05-Mar-13 18:04:16

My friend has two children. The eldest is going to be 8 tomorrow and I'm going to pop round with her present & card tomorrow. My friend phoned me about an hour ago asking if i could also bring round a present for her youngest so she doesn't feel left out. I told her that I wouldn't as it's her birthday in April & I will give her a present then. Surely if my friend doesn't want her child to feel 'left out' it's up to her to do something about it? AIBU if I only buy a birthday present for the birthday girl?

SecretNutellaFix Tue 05-Mar-13 18:32:22

Same as robothamster.

I still remember my fifth birthday when my sister threw a strop because I had some presents.My grandmother gave her a £10 note and she waved it in my face.

Did I get anything when it was hers? No.

It often happened that she got just because she was the youngest. I grew up to resent her and she has grown up with a massive sense of entitlement. We still don't get on very well.

derektheladyhamster Tue 05-Mar-13 18:33:31

take a packet of chocolate buttons grin

seriously she's mad!

CloudsAndTrees Tue 05-Mar-13 18:34:21

Your friend is exceptionally rude. YANBU

jumpingjackhash Tue 05-Mar-13 18:34:55

So you're being mean by not giving her other kid a present? hmm

Point out that you don't actually have to even give the real birthday kid a gift. If it makes it easier, should you just forget that altogether?

She's being rude and grabby.

aquashiv Tue 05-Mar-13 18:35:02

What a cheek not bloody way.

AwkwardSquad Tue 05-Mar-13 18:35:56

Wow, your friend is being rude! If she, as the parent, wants to give her other child a little present, that's entirely up to her. When we were little, our grandparents on one side used to give me and my siblings a little present as well when they gave the birthday girl or boy their present. But that was their own decision, and we knew very well that it was extra specially nice of them and we certainly didn't expect it. But for someone to ASK someone who isn't even family to do that, then get sulky and rude when refused...wow. Not a big fan of the word 'entitled' but justified here, I think.

PootlePosyPerkin Tue 05-Mar-13 18:37:36

Good heavens no, YANBU!

Maybe you shouldn't bother getting either child a present next time shock.

harryhausen Tue 05-Mar-13 18:37:57

My Dmil used to do this. Whenever it was a dc's birthday she'd buy the other dc a present so they didn't feel left outhmm.

I used to tell not to but she did anyway. Now they're older she seems to have stopped. It's bloody ridiculous.

giraffesCantDateDucks Tue 05-Mar-13 18:37:59

WTF - who are these people that demand stuff?!

Goldmandra Tue 05-Mar-13 18:38:30

The only time I would do this is when a new baby arrives. I don't want to give siblings a reason to be resentful so I buy a token gift for them too.

This mother needs to get a grip.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 05-Mar-13 18:41:18

Wow that's rude(her not you) yanbu to not wish to collude with her shitty grabby parenting methods.

TomArchersSausage Tue 05-Mar-13 18:41:37

She actually rang to ask you that?? Blimey how grabby and rude. I've read of this sort of thing before via mn although never in rl - how incredible that people actually think that wayconfused

GregBishopsBottomBitch Tue 05-Mar-13 18:44:00

Jeez, she needs to get a grip.

And whatever ever happened to making kids wait their turn, my mum did that, and i turned out just fine.

RobotHamster Tue 05-Mar-13 18:44:35

Nutella - I think I've just had a breakthrough moment with this thread. No wonder my sisters are such grabby bitches.

SamuelWestsMistress Tue 05-Mar-13 18:50:47

Greedy cow. She should buy her other child it's own bloody present!

I know so many people who do this buying a present for non-birthday children on birthday children's birthday so that the spoilt little toads poor things don't get upset.

What utter bollocks! Utter, utter, bollocking bollocks.

A bit of pmt just escaped then through my fingers, but I still mean it,

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 05-Mar-13 18:51:05

Gets a bit out of hand if everyone gets on this bandwagon. Up to your friend to sort her DCs' expectations and disappointment levels!

YADNBU

Smartiepants79 Tue 05-Mar-13 18:57:14

Why should the other child be upset? Because she didn't get a present on a day that is NOT her birthday.
Unbelievably RUDE!
Can't believe people this socially oblivious exist.

Fakebook Tue 05-Mar-13 18:57:58

I can't believe the cheek of some people! Do these people really exist?!

GregBishopsBottomBitch Tue 05-Mar-13 19:00:45

No wonder so many kids are such entitled little shits, make em wait, my DD can be disappointed all she likes, tough, not her day, why do people pander to this bullshit about not upsetting their kids.

pluCaChange Tue 05-Mar-13 19:04:11

How horrible! My DC are nearly 4 years apart, and have birthdays in different seasons, so they're very separate. I always talk to the other about what a special day it is, and how s/he is a lovely brother/ sister to celrbrate it, bkah, blah, blah... So each has a day of NOT sharing the limelight. They seem happy so far...

ihearsounds Tue 05-Mar-13 19:04:39

I would have laughed if someone phoned me and asked that I bring the other child a present. The parent between laughter would be told they are having a laugh if they think I am getting 4 presents for their 2 children.
It is utter bollox buying for other children so they don't miss out..If they will have such meltdowns, then imvho, the parents have serious problems.

Scholes34 Tue 05-Mar-13 19:04:52

I used to love my brother's birthdays - I got to play with all his new toys!

Absolutely no need to buy presents for siblings, except as mentioned up thread when a token gift for a sibling of a new born baby might be appropriate, and even then it shouldn't be expected or asked for, nay demanded.

BeaWheesht Tue 05-Mar-13 19:05:14

wow I'm amazed by your friend. No yadnbu!!

Fwiw I'm a soft touch and do buy a little thing for nieces / nephews and my kids when their sibling has a birthday but only something like a pack of soldiers for 99p, a bath toy, a Lego mini figure, a sticker book etc. I wouldn't expect anyone to do it though and would certainly never ask!

facedontfit Tue 05-Mar-13 19:05:41

For crying out loud - some people!

Floggingmolly Tue 05-Mar-13 19:07:13

You said you were very mean when you said no? hmm She sounds the same mental age as her children...

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