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AIBU to think this takes the p*** !

(56 Posts)

One of my kids has two boys in his class who are having a joint birthday party, great, fine, kids will love it.

Then today I get an email, one of the mums friends ( another mum) is having a collection for the 2 children, cash that is, and please will we put our names on the envelope an bring it to her outside the classroom at picking up time.... The message goes on to inform us that she will let us all know how much they collect and let the mums know who contributed what ?? EHHHHHHHHHHHHH .??
I must be getting on a bit because i thought Birthday parties were about kids having fun and mums bringing little gifts along (normally something left over from last party you had ;) lol) Maybe im wrong but WTF ?? Is this not out of hand now or am I just stuck in the past ??

MrsMushroom Wed 06-Mar-13 08:45:37

Emily the point is that these women are saying they will reveal the amounts spent...that's terrible....and they've not reccomended an amount either.

Emilythornesbff Wed 06-Mar-13 08:48:40

Yes I see.
That's why I'd have a word.
Unless I'd already bought a gift, then I'd politely bow out of the scheme.

BegoniaBampot Wed 06-Mar-13 08:51:39

Not a bad idea if it's only, say, a fiver per guest and it could get the children one decent present rather than all the crap they usually get. Has to be your choice though and telling what people contributed is crazy. I've collected for a class present for the teacher, a few kids didn't contribute but they were included on the card and gift with everyone else.

atthewelles Wed 06-Mar-13 10:52:25

I suppose, on reflection, it depends on how the email was worded. If it was a kind of 'Hi, a few of us are thinking of clubbing together to buy a present each for Josh and Ben. If any of you would like to be included in this, please let me know and I'll add your name to the list.' then I wouldn't find it offensive.

But if it was a bossy 'It has been decided to do a collection in order to buy one large present each for Josh and Ben. Can you please put your donation for this in an envelope and hand to me outside the school before next Friday. I will circulate you all with the names and individual amounts donated once the collection is complete and the presents have been bought' then I would think 'sod off'.

babanouche Wed 06-Mar-13 11:07:59

This is stupid. I've had parents say to me before that an amazon voucher would be handy because the child can put them towards something expensive, but cash like this is horrible. You can't be sure the child is going to receive it.

I'd do as others have suggested and say you already have the presents. Then in the playground I'd very loudly tell them, with a smile on your face, what an unusual approach to birthdays they've taken.

Writehand Wed 06-Mar-13 11:20:22

YANBU. I wouldn't ignore the email because that sort of super-bossy person will make a mental note that you're being "unco-operative" and, at some point, may well make you pay. I'd just say you've already got the presents.

I might also ask (out of malicious curiosity) "Was there any special reason for taking up a collection?" I can see that if all the £5/£10 spent on pressies by each family was gathered together the birthday child could get one big present. However I also think this is a very greedy, materialistic way of looking things.

The only time this might seem OK is if the child is desperate for specific items needed to pursue a very important interest -- say a child was passionate about ice hockey but parents can't afford all the various bits of equipment. Maybe...

But it's still a weird thing to do.

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