to think my friend is attention-seeking?

(18 Posts)
GorillaGozilla Sun 03-Mar-13 21:40:32

I am actually think I am being unreasonable, so would love to have opinions on this.

Known my friends for years, even went to school with her. She could be very attention seeking then, pretending that she was ill, had kidney problems, would state she was a certain weight (a very low weight) when clearly she wasn't etc.

Anyway ... fast forward to now and since then she has very much grown out of it a long time ago.

About a year ago she gave me a lift home and said "me and are Ben are going to start trying for a baby soon" .... I was a little surprised as they hadn't dated long and we're still quite young so the biological clock isn't ticking just yet.

But I kept my opinion to myself and just said how exciting etc. She then asked me not to say anything, which I didn't.

It wasn't mentioned again and then we (group of 5 friends) were out for dinner when she announced that she was engaged but they wouldn't be having children for a couple of years yet.

When another friend said "Oh but I thought you were going to try for a baby together a while back?"

And others agreed.

So she had obviously told us all and said to not tell anyone, and then they didn't even try for a baby anyway.

Aibu to think this is attention-seeing behaviour? Really don't mind if I'm wrong - as I might be just thinking that purely based on how she was as a teenager.

WorraLiberty Sun 03-Mar-13 21:44:36

She probably changed her mind confused

Shutupanddrive Sun 03-Mar-13 21:46:18

Does it matter? Maybe they changed their minds? hmm

Euphemia Sun 03-Mar-13 21:47:36

She sounds very insecure, like she thinks people won't be interested in her unless she's got something "big" to say.

Anything toxic in her childhood?

I had a friend at school like this: told the most obvious whoppers (she had plastic bones, her parents had a villa in France with a vindictive maid, she had an inflatable chair in her schoolbag which we could deploy if ever she collapsed owing to the plastic bones), but we never got to the bottom of why.

We employed our best psychological techniques, garnered at the feet of End Blyton, about insecure girls seeking approval, but she denied making any of it up. confused

Feelingpissedoff Sun 03-Mar-13 21:48:13

I think you are reading too much into it. People change their minds.

Catchingmockingbirds Sun 03-Mar-13 21:49:31

They may have changed their minds, or encountered difficulties with ttc and wanted to divert questions about it by saying they weren't going to try for a while.

GorillaGozilla Sun 03-Mar-13 21:54:54

See I did think that perhaps there had been problems, but I can honestly say that I don't believe it was that.

If she had just said it to me only then I wouldn't be thinking about it twice.

It's the fact that she told each of us they are going to try for a baby but don't tell anyone that we are.

SweetSeraphim Sun 03-Mar-13 21:57:27

Yeah but you get people like that, don't you? People that tell you stuff 'in confidence', but then later down the line you find that they've told loads of other people, also 'in confidence'. It's weird.

lydiamama Sun 03-Mar-13 22:00:53

Oh well, that is quite odd, but if it is attention seeking, it seems to work, doesn;t it? You are now wondering about it. In your case I would just forget all about it, like it was never mentioned. The main thing is that they are engaged, and they may have decided to wait until after a wedding, or save for something before continuing TTC. There are logic explanations, but just stop wondering about it smile

WellSlapMyThighAndCallMeNancy Sun 03-Mar-13 22:02:50

What was that? Big fat nothing?

Thought so.

<leaves thread>

RollingTheChanceDice Sun 03-Mar-13 22:07:38

Very constructive WellSlap

Catchingmockingbirds Sun 03-Mar-13 22:53:55

hmm and mature...

SirBoobAlot Sun 03-Mar-13 23:04:25

From my experiences, it's important to remember that even if someone is seeking attention, they are seeking it for a reason. Sometimes even they don't know the reason themselves. But someone who tells lies, or worries over things too much, or doesn't know what they want in life is more likely to be lost and confused than malicious.

And based purely on the TTC thing, they may well have tried and had problems, or looked at things on a practical level and decided to wait.

So try not to be too judgey wink

bedmonster Sun 03-Mar-13 23:07:16

Maybe she wanted to tell the others in private one by one? Maybe she never meant to tell anyone but found she could confide in you individually?

Hard to say if YABU as i'm really not sure what attention you think she got from telling people they were going to wait a bit to TTC? confused

Doesn't seem so to me tbh. My sister started trying for a baby after she got married. they changed their mind when she got offered a different job. Asked people not to talk about it incase others overheard really! So imo, yabu.

valiumredhead Mon 04-Mar-13 08:56:35

Maybe she just didn't want it to be a big discussion?

A passing comment is hardly attention seeking. Its not like she went on and on about it.

Goldmandra Mon 04-Mar-13 09:10:09

My sister tells people secrets like that, asks them not to tell anyone else then tells them all in confidence herself. We all end up knowing the secret and keeping it from each other unaware that everyone else knows too.

It drives me mad!

I'm not sure it is attention seeking but it is very annoying and inconsiderate.

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