...to think I shouldn´t be the one that always pays...

(33 Posts)
peterpie Wed 27-Feb-13 16:14:44

I meet with a friend every week and 9 times out of 10 I end up paying the bill for our coffee or whatever we have had.
I don´t think it´s because she is skint or anything like that and it´s not like she even acknowledges it.
Despite me paying last week I ended up paying again today, even though I hung on hoping she would do the honours.
I don´t have many friends where I live and apart from this I like her a lot but I am starting to feel like a mug and it´s not a good feeling.

TheMaskedHorror Wed 27-Feb-13 18:28:37

Er you dont need to say that whole thing on my previous post. don't know why the apostrophe, which was meant to be a speech mark, is right at the end.

Another suggestion is to say breezily (of course) "Would you mind getting these today? I'll have a large latte with an extra fat slice of chocolate cake. Thanks!"

theoriginalandbestrookie Wed 27-Feb-13 18:31:32

Look she may be tight or thick skinned, but the third option is that she genuinely hasn't noticed.

Either suggest she pays next time as its her turn, or if you don't want to be so assertive, then say that you're a bit skint and going forward can you each get your own.

carabos Wed 27-Feb-13 18:33:16

I'm like MrsMushroom in that my freeloading friend is loaded. Despite years of crying on my shoulder over her divorce and her out of control DS and me putting her into not one but two high paying jobs and giving her business advice, she has never bought me so much as a cup of tea. I always pay.

I'm wise to it now and don't see her under any circs other than at her house grin.

theoriginalandbestrookie Wed 27-Feb-13 18:37:47

I don't get it though carabos. I wouldn't be friends at all with a person that was deliberately tight. It would fester away inside and I would just rather spend time with folks who do pay their way rather than engineering meetings so that they don't involve spending money.

Lavenderhoney Wed 27-Feb-13 18:40:12

How does she manage not to pay? Is it table service and you pay at the end? Which means you are also tipping for her - Or do you stand at the counter and the server says " together?" and you say yes?

For future yes get there a bit early and pay for yourself or tell the waitress to bring your bill at once.

Next time though, when it's pay time push the bill at her and say " it's your turn!"

Do you do most of the talking? That's a lot of times to be messed about with paying. It's not about who has more money etc - if she says she can't afford it then say oh gosh then eats just go for a nice walk next time. You don't have to have coffee or treat her. Surely there are other people where you live?

MrsMushroom Wed 27-Feb-13 18:47:50

Carabos I think loaded people are "good" at not spending ANY money when they can get away with it.

Hence the richest woman I know...her DC's shoes are always barely waterproof...she never buys what she can get for free.

She owns three homes and a successful business...wonder why?

peterpie Wed 27-Feb-13 19:03:17

Let me clarify, where we live it´s all table service so you order then get up and pay at the end. Most of the time she says she has no cash hmm or she makes herself "busy" with her child...At first I didn´t think too much of it, I assumed she would start to pay subsequent weeks, guess I am more stupid than I thought.

Thanks again for all the comments and advice, I´ll be ready next time!!

Lavenderhoney Thu 28-Feb-13 04:37:39

I see- then at the start, ask for separate bills. When the order or orders are taken, say oh please could you give us separate bills?
If she says she has no cash, then I guess depending on how much you like her, ou can stump up one last time. Or just say best leave it today then.

No one goes out without cash to a planned coffee! And she could always suggest a mini picnic and walk in the park instead when you arrange.

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