To wonder why people get so defensive about babies watching tv?

(128 Posts)
Quilty Sun 24-Feb-13 21:27:04

Just that really. Was at someone's house with 10 month old baby watching cbeebies, I jokingly comment that I will delay putting the tv on as long as possible (in reference to the irritating song that was currently on) - cue babies mum getting hugely defensive about how much tv the baby watches, how it's only on before bed etc etc and lecturing me about how it's a godsend when you need to distract them for 5 mins so you can go for a wee.

I in no way suggested that I thought she was doing anything wrong, so why such a defensive reaction?

HumphreyCobbler Sun 24-Feb-13 21:29:30

i expect it is because she felt guilty about tv viewing - I had MASSIVE tv guilt over my pfb but not enough to stop me turning it on whenever I was desperate

I don't limit tv now but my dc don't watch that much anyway

numbum Sun 24-Feb-13 21:29:45

Maybe because you didn't explain that it was because of the song and she thought you were judging her?

DonderandBlitzen Sun 24-Feb-13 21:31:49

I suppose she wasn't to know that you meant because of the irritating song. She might have thought "I will delay putting the tv on as long as possible" meant that you wouldn't put it on until the child was older and wouldn't let a baby watch it.

Quilty Sun 24-Feb-13 21:32:30

I don't think because we were saying the programme was annoying.

If tv only on for half before bed, why the guilt?

FredFredGeorge Sun 24-Feb-13 21:33:06

Because it's percieved to be the sort of thing that lower class parents allow, so by implying she allowed it, you were implying she was lower class.

Despite the complete lack of evidence of TV watching having any impact on anything (although of course children who get little attention also often watch lots of TV, but it's the lack of attention not the TV that harms development) there's a perception amoung many that it's bad, and you did indeed imply that she was in the context of that perception.

Quilty Sun 24-Feb-13 21:33:06

*don't think so, I mean

OpheliasWeepingWillow Sun 24-Feb-13 21:35:00

I used to think babies watching TV was the devil's own work until my dd developed silent reflux, feeding aversions and general inability to eat anything without Makka Pakka in front of her.

So now I don't judge. I love iPlayer.

Jengnr Sun 24-Feb-13 21:35:44

Because they think you think they put their kids in front of the TV rather than spending any time with them.

I'm delaying my baby from watching tv but only until I've worked through the House box set smile

Plus my husband monopolises it all night, I don't want baby taking it in the day.

larks35 Sun 24-Feb-13 21:36:12

I imagine she thought you were judging her decision to allow her baby to watch TV, I know I would have. TBH the fact you have now posted about it makes me think you probably were.

ceeveebee Sun 24-Feb-13 21:36:31

If a friend said that to me I would assume they were being judgey and superior so would probably feel a bit defensive

McNewPants2013 Sun 24-Feb-13 21:39:35

Op have you got children yourself.

Tv with PFB was a godsend and I would have gotten defensive at a child free friend try to comment on my muddling through.

HearMyRoar Sun 24-Feb-13 21:43:29

Sounds like it was just a bit of miscommunication. You thought you made a joke while she heard a criticism. It happens. I've been known to get the same way when people mention their amazing sleeping babies.

I always thought I'd never watch TV with a baby. We don't even own one in fact. Unfortunately we are all sleep deprived and half an hour in front of horrible histories is sometimes all that gets us through the day. So not only do we watch TV but its probably not even age appropriate shock

Kiwiinkits Sun 24-Feb-13 21:44:02

Ahem.
TV is bad for babies as it's too fast, too flicky and too distracting for them. I'd be hmm about a 10 month old watching TV, personally.
Jaysus, it's a 10 month old, you can go to the loo with ONE baby. They're not that hard!

zoobaby Sun 24-Feb-13 21:45:27

I wonder... what exactly defines "watching tv"? Is it when you put on a programme specifically aimed at them and plonk them in front of it while you go faff about, or is it if they see tv? My DS "watches tv" because he's in the room when we watch it. DP (top gear and destroyed in seconds) delightedly points out cars and planes etc and I'd go insane BFing and staring at the wall for hours on end.

Kiwiinkits Sun 24-Feb-13 21:46:05
ClippedPhoenix Sun 24-Feb-13 21:46:24

There is nothing wrong with it. What on earth is going on. If you stick a baby in front of the tv all day then fair enough, that's wrong but other than that it's just ridiculous.

Quilty Sun 24-Feb-13 21:46:27

Obviously she must of took what I said the wrong way, because even though I've explained in my post what I meant it's still being taken the wrong way on here. We were commenting on how annoying the singing on the programme was, the baby wasn't even paying it attention for what it's worth.

ClippedPhoenix Sun 24-Feb-13 21:47:16

Id also suggest that people don't google everything to the hilt really. Everything in moderation is fine.

FlouncingMintyy Sun 24-Feb-13 21:47:17

I think its one of those things. The evidence is fairly convincing - watching tv is bad for babies and they should not do it (see also inhale smoke, eat sugar, sleep in a separate room).

People don't want to believe the research and prefer to pretend its a lot of irrational hysteria. Makes them defensive.

germyrabbit Sun 24-Feb-13 21:48:23

'Because it's percieved to be the sort of thing that lower class parents allow, so by implying she allowed it, you were implying she was lower class.'

wtf? shock

ChairmanWow Sun 24-Feb-13 21:48:40

<Gets popcorn>

ClippedPhoenix Sun 24-Feb-13 21:49:38

Exactly OP. All this hysteria about the tv is just ridiculous and makes me wonder how unhinged the parents are really. Get a grip really get a grip.

ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath Sun 24-Feb-13 21:50:17

I never thought I'd let ds watch tv the way I do and must admit to being a bit hmm at other mums putting the highchair in front of cbeebies but, since ds turned about 1, I have never been so grateful for 1 hour's 20 mins peace in my life!

Kiwiinkits Sun 24-Feb-13 21:50:21

The effects of infant TV watching in a nutshell: Infants don't understand TV; they're distracted by it; watched at night, it messes up their sleep; when watched with parents, the parents speak and interact less with them; when watching on their own, they're less likely to engage in developmentally beneficial play; and they might be developmentally delayed by it.

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