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to think £250 is a lot for a hen do?

(41 Posts)
nemoni Sun 24-Feb-13 20:59:11

My brother is getting married this summer and I've been invited to the hen do - a weekend away. With travel, food, and accommodation (self catering, sharing a room with 2-3 girls I don't know) it will work out about £250 for me, and also involves a 5/6 hour journey and taking a day off work. School hols too. Is it just me or is this bonkers? What happened to a night out?! The stag do is also a weekend away, costs similar, and the wedding will involve travel and a night in a hotel for us and children (and all within one month). Is it unreasonable for me to think this is a lot to ask of people for a hen do?! Have given my polite apologies but am actually quite upset sad about it.

missorinoco Sun 24-Feb-13 21:00:58

No, YANBU, they seem so expensive now. The days of the night out seem to be long gone, although probably in part because people are so spread out that it wouldn be impractical.

GloriaPritchett Sun 24-Feb-13 21:02:59

YANBU.

Uppermid Sun 24-Feb-13 21:03:05

Yanbu, I agree, what happened to hen nights and stag nights? Is the prospect of getting married so bad that you need a whole weekend away or even week? It's getting ridiculous

bedmonster Sun 24-Feb-13 21:05:38

Would you have gone if it was someone else/doing something else?

I just ask because a friend of mine didn't go on her SILs hen night because a) she didn't really know anyone else, b) they were going for a cocktail making lesson and then clubbing, c) she isn't at all close with her SIL and d) it was very expensive. She told her SIL that it was just too expensive as she was planning her own wedding, but later told me that she would have paid and gone if it was a different situation.

You are not wrong in thinking that it's a lot of money for a night out though, especially as it seems to be very inconvenient for you.

MumToTheBoy Sun 24-Feb-13 21:08:55

I went on a hen weekend last week and it was a total cost of £200. I have had to say that because it cost so much I now can't afford to go to the wedding, which would be an additional £300. I paid a £100 deposit for the hen weekend thinking that was it, not knowing about the 'extras', or I would have said no to the hen so I could go to the wedding.

I think I'm getting old cos I feel it's very OTT and think a night out is more than enough.

Adversecamber Sun 24-Feb-13 21:11:17

For some 250 isn't much however I personally think it is ridiculous to expect people to fork out this kind of amount. My lovely friend is getting married in the summer, I am her bridesmaid. I asked her what she wanted for a hen night and she said a nice dinner then back to hers for chatting and wine.

I do find some of the requests these days very over the top.

nemoni Sun 24-Feb-13 21:12:41

Good question bedmonster, I think £250 is a lot to ask of anyone, quite up for the activities and did think I was quite close to my SIL but I guess for me it's also that spending £250 for a break and to share a bedroom with people I don't know when my husband and I haven't had a weekend away, nor a family holiday away, for a couple of years. That and that the combined cost of hen do, stag do and wedding starts to look like the cost of a family holiday at around £750!!!

JengaBlock Sun 24-Feb-13 21:13:09

Did you know,I was going to say ya nbu, but then it occurred to me that I didn't know, as I have never actually been on a hen night! But if I did, I. Definitely wouldn't spend that much!

Cherriesarelovely Sun 24-Feb-13 21:31:27

£250 is a huge amount of money. There is no way I could do that and I think it is VU of people to ask.

Enfyshedd Sun 24-Feb-13 21:43:56

Now I have DD, my ideal plan for a hen do is a baby sitter for DD, maybe a day out and an evening meal out with my friends.

Before I had DD, my ideal plan hen do was... maybe a day out and an evening meal out with my friends.

I don't like a big fuss and I don't have a lot of friends who I would want at a hen night. In fact, half of my mates I'd like to be at my hen night are blokes anyway!!

SalopianTubes Sun 24-Feb-13 21:48:53

YANBU, I recently declined an invite for a hen-do, which was a £160 for 1 night's accomodation, plus a demand for £20 contribution for the hen's night, plus cash for a gift for the hen. With travel and other expenses the night would have easily cost £250.

The invite was only text to me 9 days before the event, which makes me think someone had pulled out, and they were scrabbling around to find a replacement to help keep costs down. angry

SilverClementine Sun 24-Feb-13 21:54:55

It is a lot, YANBU. I'm going to one soon that will cost 170, but as well as celebrating a friend's marriage its also a chancfe ti hang out with people I genuinely like and do stuff that sounds fun. I've turned down invites for hen do's that were more expensive/a hassle.

I wouldn't go if I were you. You don't sound mad keen and It's a LOT of money to spend on something only out of obligation.

midastouch Sun 24-Feb-13 21:55:26

YANBU that is a hell of a lot of money if you're not well off, i would never have gone, couldn't justify it!

OrangeLily Sun 24-Feb-13 22:06:32

YANBU!! That's ridiculous.

I'm going on a fairly standard hen weekend soon and it's £140. Tried to wittle it down a bit cost wise but its a package deal so couldn't.

My friend has one this year which is 20 mins away from us and is costing £400 for just over 24hrs!!

twinklytoes Sun 24-Feb-13 22:22:19

£400! what are you doing orangelily

I'm having to partner-up with my sister on a hen do at the end of year..prices not mentioned yet..but given the pics of the bride to be at a hen weekend this weekend on fb...it's gonna be loads. Only going so my sister doesn't have to share a room with strangers and give her some company. Sister is on best man/woman duties...has to wear a morning suit but been banned from the stag do.

expatinscotland Sun 24-Feb-13 22:27:40

FAR too much. YANBU. I'd decline, too. Whatever happened to a pub crawl and a curry?

AnaisB Sun 24-Feb-13 22:29:02

Yanbu - it's a lot, but i'm organising a hen party at the moment which will cost similar. I guess because we're all spread out over the country there has to be a night away involved and i want to organise something the bride will love. Very conscious of people not being able to afford it though and we did give as much notice as possible.

Quilty Sun 24-Feb-13 22:30:09

YANBU

I think these type of hen do's are a bit selfish, they force people to fork out money they can't really afford either cos they feel they have to go or they feel too embarrassed to say they think its too expensive. Or if someone really can't afford it then they have to either make an excuse or the rest of the group will know how tight their finances are which is really none of anyone's business!

mameulah Sun 24-Feb-13 22:33:55

YANBU - don't go!!! And don't worry about it for even one second.

AnaisB Sun 24-Feb-13 22:34:59

Tbh i agree with quilty. Obvioussly i'm obliged to go to the one i'm organising, but if not and i couldn't afford it i'd just make an excuse or say i could only go for part of it.

Ruprekt Sun 24-Feb-13 22:40:19

A night out should be enough.

Dh went to Italy with my father and my brothers (mental!) but he is italian so they only needed to pay flights and stayed with family.

I went to an italian restaurant for my hen night! Job done!

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 24-Feb-13 22:40:54

Yrs that's a lot. £250 is about the price of an apartment at the seaside for the whole family at Easter.

Family has to come first for us.

lemontwist Sun 24-Feb-13 22:45:56

I've just paid a deposit for a hen do that I reckon will end up costing about £250 in total. DH will be going on the stag do which will cost at least the same if not more. With that and two nights away to wedding plus travel and gifts we'll be paying about a grand.
We really wanted to go as its DH's best mate and he'll be an usher but its going to be a real stretch.
Its a shame they have to be so costly nowadays - I turned down 3 hen dos last year because of cost. When we got married 4 years ago we tried hard to keep our hen/stag costs down and we still both had an amazing time.

Bluelightsandsirens Sun 24-Feb-13 22:54:30

Bollocks to it all

Just say no.

Seriously

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