aibu or is sil regarding watching children (sorry is long)

(28 Posts)
dementedmumof6 Fri 22-Feb-13 21:03:46

My husband and I have recently seperated, however we had agreed to attend a charity function alongside sil and bil before we seperated that we don't want to pull out as lots of people already have.

However we hadn't discussed childcare for the night and as is local to house was thinking of making sure youngest 2 were in bed before leaving and have my eldest babysit, the 2 middle children would be staying with friends.
Now this is were i'm sure i'm not BU but don't know.

My SILs children were at my house seeing their cousins and having dinner tonight when the youngest announced they were staying here next week as MY mum was watching them while their parents were at charity night.
My mum would have them if asked but i think why should she have to watch them especially when they haven't even asked they have just assumed and they will get a child free night, whereas even if my mum does have them i will still have to come home to them and get up if anyone wakes during the night .

So would i be unreasonable to pretend i didn't hear what was said, or should i tell them i'm not happy with that they should sort their own childcare out.

WorraLiberty Fri 22-Feb-13 22:42:43

You need to speak to the Mum

It's quite probable the child decided all this and hasn't actually heard it from anyone.

oldraver Fri 22-Feb-13 22:37:06

Phone your SIL and say " Your DC seem to be under the impression that my Mum is going to be babysitting them at MY house. I have made other arrangements but that wont be possible"

Or tell exH he has to as its his sister

Patchouli Fri 22-Feb-13 21:57:59

You might want to let your SIL know that your mum's not babysitting that night. Say there seems to have been some sort of misunderstanding.
And you can't expect your oldest to mind the cousins as well.

NatashaBee Fri 22-Feb-13 21:30:53

SIL has a cheek. What would she have done if the kids hadn't mentioned it accidentally - just shown up on the doorstep with them?

Sorry, the sil's childrens grandmother. i too had assumed she was your brother's wife.

So your mum isn't the sil's grandmother? shock

It's a plain NO!

Tell her your mum isn't even babysitting so she will have to make other plans. Cheeky so and so!

dementedmumof6 Fri 22-Feb-13 21:26:36

My sil is my exhusbands sister, there is no way he would have asked my mum especially since we have seperated, if he had my mum would have been straight on the phone asking why she was watching sil kid and not mine as she loves having mine but doesnt get to see them as often as she likes as stays a distance away.

MerylStrop Fri 22-Feb-13 21:24:06

I think you might find that your mum has other plans which is why your children are all going on sleepovers to schoolfriends' houses.

FeistyLass Fri 22-Feb-13 21:23:20

I think it would be a bit unreasonable to pretend you didn't hear but YANBU to say you don't want to ask your mum to watch SIL's children. Have you asked your ex-dh about it? Maybe he told your SIL it was ok. . .

It seems like a misunderstanding so if I were you, I'd try to clarify it as soon as possible so your SIL can find alternative childcare.

gemma4d Fri 22-Feb-13 21:22:19

errr.. you haven't asked your mum. SIL maybe has asked your mum, and made arrangements for your mum to have SIL-kids at SILs house?

I'm confused.

Fleecyslippers Fri 22-Feb-13 21:21:01

Cheeky cow - I had assumed that your SIL was your brothers wife!

aufaniae Fri 22-Feb-13 21:19:19

Cross posts!

DinglebertWangledack Fri 22-Feb-13 21:19:03

Tell your SIL to do a bunk with that one, assuming makes an ass etc!

aufaniae Fri 22-Feb-13 21:18:49

Is it possible your husband has told them they can stay?

CloudsAndTrees Fri 22-Feb-13 21:18:49

Would your husband have offered your mums babysitting services without asking?

dementedmumof6 Fri 22-Feb-13 21:17:04

I had intended for my eldest to watch them however if he has plans or doesn't want to then my mum will come and watch them if asked . However not keen on saying can you watch my children (your grankids) plus 3 others that barely know you as are only related through marriage.

CloudsAndTrees Fri 22-Feb-13 21:15:42

This is confusing!

Is your oldest babysitting or have you asked your Mum? Could your SIL have asked your Mum directly?

Hang on, I thought your eldest dc was babysitting yours, not your mum?

Tee2072 Fri 22-Feb-13 21:12:48

Okay, now I get it!

Yes, call SIL and say 'No, they're not staying here all night. Come get them!' And mean it.

That's pretty cheeky!

TeeBee Fri 22-Feb-13 21:12:32

Oh, I thought your eldest child was watching the youngest two. I would ignore it. If they mention anything just say you feel uncomfortable asking your mother to watch more than two children. What did your SIL say when the youngest piped up with that?

Make sure she collects her dc at the end of the night!

dementedmumof6 Fri 22-Feb-13 21:10:42

Yeah thats pretty much it fleecy.

Make SIL collect her own children at the end of the night.

Fleecyslippers Fri 22-Feb-13 21:08:59

So your SIL has assumed she's going to bring her kids to your house and your mum is looking after them all ? And SIL and BIL will leave them at your house overnight? And have a nice lie in next day?
YANBU!

dementedmumof6 Fri 22-Feb-13 21:08:49

No sorry she would be having my children at my house but sil has told her children that they are staying here also, although she hasnt mentioned this to me only found out when dn told my dd.

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