to be furious with the holiday club and the selfish mother

(76 Posts)
Domjolly Wed 20-Feb-13 18:58:34

so ds (13) was at his holiday club today when in the car i asked him how his day had been

he told me that some mum had booked 8 children in and also given birthday invites to 8 of the children that are regulars and are already regsitered

and paid for then all and then at luch time came back with a cake and mc donalds just for the said children shock whilest the other children at the hoilday club just had to watch them having there birthday party

so basically instead of paying for cenetre to put on a party the mother used the hoilday club as a cheap way of having a do

i am pissed of with the hoilday club for letting it happen and also what kind of mother would do that so 9 other children could stand and watch.

it was ds last day today thank god or i would be having words just out of order

HollyBerryBush Wed 20-Feb-13 22:33:41

I cant imagine any of my boys getting excited about another kids birthday cake - especially not at 11/13/15

So, Op - did your kiddlet feel all left out or was it a passing comment he made to you?

mercibucket Wed 20-Feb-13 22:31:15

oh honestly!
they are teenagers on a day holiday club
one of the mums brought in some mcd for lunch. guess you could have done that too, op?
then they had abit of cake

i really don't seethe big deal over their lunch

its prob not fun if a holiday club is dominated by a group of kids who all know each other, birthday or not, so i can see why its a bit disappointing, but thats pretty unconnected to what they ate for lunch

nancy75 Wed 20-Feb-13 22:28:23

If it is the type of club where lunch is supervised by the staff I'm surprised the mum was allowed in, I work for a company that runs this kind of thing and anyone spending time with the kids has to be crb checked by our company, we certainly don't let parents turn up and sit with the kids during lunch time. We would let a parent drop off food, but that would be all.

FeckOffCup Wed 20-Feb-13 22:15:09

YANBU I think it's a bit off to bring in a birthday cake for some children and not others. Birthday mum should have either shared the cake with all the children at the club or had the ones she wanted back to her house after it finished to do the cake.

apostropheuse Wed 20-Feb-13 20:44:08

Much ado about nothing.

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 20-Feb-13 20:35:07

Mum of 17 year old teen ds ReallyTired.
And believe me, any teen issues I've had do not include missing a piece of birthday cake at a holiday club.
Sheesh.

ssd Wed 20-Feb-13 20:31:07

apart from the tightfisted mother in question, I'd say the manager of the club was at fault for letting this happen

ReallyTired Wed 20-Feb-13 20:30:45

"Well, IMO, at that age, the uninvited would have hung around together, trying to look like the cool ones, and would have bonded over that.
And then forgotten all about it the next time they came to the club. "

I am sure that the children would have put on a brave face, but some of them may have still felt hurt inside.

I seriously wonder how many posters on this thread have experience with this age group. Teens and pre teens still have feelings and capable of feeling hurt.

I am shocked at how some posters are so devoid of empathy towards the uninvited chidlren.

ssd Wed 20-Feb-13 20:29:56

op, I totally get what you mean, but really your ds would have died of embarrassment if you'd walked in with a happy meal each and a silly hat

trust me on that

he'd probably fancy a bit of the cake though grin

merrymouse Wed 20-Feb-13 20:29:55

The difference between soft play centres, bowling centres etc. etc. etc. is that although there may be other children/people having parties there, you do not know them from Adam.

If I walked into a restaurant and saw some people having a hen party, and I had just met them on a team building course, I would be a bit upset if they didn't at least say hello to me, and it would be completely normal for them to invite me over for a cocktail, even though I wouldn't expect to be part of the hen party.

If on the other hand, they decided to bring hen party t-shirts and games to my team building course and supply them to 16 of the participants and leave out 9 people, I have to say I would be more than a little peeved. (Well, I would be peeved if I had to wear a t-shirt too, but either way, it would be bad manners).

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 20-Feb-13 20:25:04

Well, IMO, at that age, the uninvited would have hung around together, trying to look like the cool ones, and would have bonded over that.
And then forgotten all about it the next time they came to the club.

MajaBiene Wed 20-Feb-13 20:22:05

Depends what the normal set up for lunch is - are they allowed to go out for lunch, do they have to all sit together, is lunch provided or packed lunches?

sunshine401 Wed 20-Feb-13 20:20:36

Yes, we all experience not being invited to a party, but there is a difference between not being invited and being forced to watch other people enjoying themselves.
Well said. smile

merrymouse Wed 20-Feb-13 20:20:06

I'm not talking about going out for coffee with one or two people, or office meetings. I'm talking about birthdays.

If its your birthday you bring in cake for everyone in the department. (Unless I and my close family have just been lucky enough to work in some particularly friendly offices, but I don't think this is the case...).

I can also imagine that the arrival of a birthday cake and McDonalds would hijack the lunch time a little. (I am reading this as 8 regulars plus 8 extras (16) shared the cake, and 9 children were left to kick their heels/wonder whether they were also supposed to sing happy birthday, despite not being on the A-list).

cory Wed 20-Feb-13 20:18:42

So if the club should have stopped the mum from bringing in some burgers and cake, what about if the children themselves had brought in sweets or cakes or whatever? Children that age usually have their own money, should that be prevented too?

firawla Wed 20-Feb-13 20:17:13

I really don't see how its a big deal - yabu, overreacting

ReallyTired Wed 20-Feb-13 20:14:51

"he told me that some mum had booked 8 children in and also given birthday invites to 8 of the children that are regulars and are already regsitered "

No 16 got macdonalds and 9 got left out. I have to admit I have not read the entire thread that the chidlren were all between 10 and 15 years old. It is still horrible at any age.

Yes, we all experience not being invited to a party, but there is a difference between not being invited and being forced to watch other people enjoying themselves.

MajaBiene Wed 20-Feb-13 20:13:58

So this is an activity holiday club for 10-15 year olds, and some of the kids there that day (less than half of them) ate a special lunch together because it was one child's birthday?

Sorry, do not see the problem at all!

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 20-Feb-13 20:10:43

The youngest in the club is 10 ReallyTired.
Eight had Macdonalds and cake, 9 didn't.

sunshine401 Wed 20-Feb-13 20:09:19

That should not of happened complain.

Cuddlyrunner Wed 20-Feb-13 20:08:20

They're not six, OP said the scheme was for 10 years to 15. She brought in lunch for the kids she had booked in!

germyrabbit Wed 20-Feb-13 20:07:22

if it's a professionally run club it isn't on, end of really

think some posters need to step back personally

ReallyTired Wed 20-Feb-13 20:06:47

That is beyond crap.

I think that it is horrible. I doult that a 13 year old would be that bothered, however the 13 year old may well have been bothered seeing a six year old upset. Teens often have empathy with younger children who felt left out.

Young children feel upset when they are left out of parties. I assume the birthday child often goes to this playscheme. Prehaps the birthday child knows some of the nine children as aquaintainces and maybe those aquaintainces were upset. It is a kick in the teeth when someone who you thought was your friend makes it clear that you aren't at six years old.

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 20-Feb-13 20:06:41

Dom, take him out and let him choose his own grin
Obviously, you have the last word on price etc, but you can discuss that together, surely?

cory Wed 20-Feb-13 20:04:57

Happens all the time, merrymouse: special lunches to talk over a problem, people buy coffees for some colleagues and not for others, or share a bottle of wine with some of them.

Anyway, I think the problem here is that the OP is emotionally involved with the minutia of her ds' day in a way that seems age inappropriate. I think she needs to step back.

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