to miss my name

(37 Posts)
WinkyWinkola Tue 19-Feb-13 23:08:57

and to wish I'd never taken dh's name even though we have a good marriage?

I had my name for 33 years and I didn't even think to keep it but now I have 3 sils with my family name, I feel a pang.

Loz1980 Wed 20-Feb-13 13:30:39

I was more than happy to change my name when I married but admit that I feel a bit funny now because my brother has just proposed to his girlfriend who has the same name as me. I feel jealous (ridiculous I know) that she will have my old name once she's married.

Trazzletoes Wed 20-Feb-13 13:56:16

Purple the marriage certificate has your maiden name on but if you take your husband's name, the certificate is proof of the name change so you just take it to the bank/ send it off with passport application etc etc.

ErikNorseman Wed 20-Feb-13 14:18:43

Purple there is no official change moment. You can use your marriage certificate to change passport, bank accounts etc, or not. You don't give up your old name, you still have the right to use it.

CoffeeandCremeEggs Wed 20-Feb-13 14:45:18

I changed my name. I didn't have any particularly strong feelings about my surname and it was important to DH that his surname be "kept alive" as he is the last one in his family to have it as both his sisters have married and taken their husbands' names.

I have kept my maiden name as my middle name though.

That said: if you miss it, change back!

This is exactly why I double-barrelled mine!
And when we split, I just dropped his bit from the end and was 'me' again.
At least you do have SIL so they will continue the family name.
If you want it back though, change it - simples!

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Wed 20-Feb-13 16:05:18

I wished I'd given my ds my name :0(

dikkertjedap Wed 20-Feb-13 22:00:54

I have always kept my maiden name. Lots of people struggle with that concept though and keep addressing me with my DH name.

Standingonlego Wed 20-Feb-13 23:01:45

My ds1 has my maiden name as his middle name, tis a Scottish thing smile

cheeseandchive Thu 21-Feb-13 17:41:25

Out of interest, can you legally use either your maiden or married name and just switch between both?
I changed my passport to my married name, and have just changed most accounts/utilities because I thought I had to. But can I change my driving license from Miss to Ms. maidenname and keep a bank account in that name too. So I have passport and bank statements for one, and driving license and bank statements for another and can use whichever one I want to? Or do I have to choose and stick to one?!

Apologies for the totally ignorant question!

longjane Thu 21-Feb-13 17:53:38

I wish i had given my kids my maiden as middle name as after 20 years of marriage i getting divorced and am thinking about going back to maiden name .
but
my maiden name is very very stupid and cause lots of hassle
and put together with my married would have been very dumb
so
at least my kids did not get bullied because of their name

OOAOML Thu 21-Feb-13 22:40:29

I think as long as you don't intend any fraud, there's no problem with bank accounts in different names. Passport and driving licence might be more of an issue as both tend to be used as official proof of identity, so if you were hiring a car it might be an issue, I'm not sure though.

RaspberryRuffle Thu 21-Feb-13 23:37:35

You could always just use your maiden name 'unofficially' for a while, introducing yourself with that and gradually change back. I wouldn't worry what your DD thinks, she'll see that you (presumably) don't change just because your name changes.
Of course take your DH's feelings into account and explain your reasons for the change of heart, depending on his views you may need to tread softly?

I wouldn't change my name because it's such a faff and I don't like that tradition anyway having lived in countries where it is not the norm. My MIL did start off calling me Mrs 'her surname' and that actually freaked me out no end as it's her name and I am not her! But she has got used to it now as I corrected it and now she is quite nice about it tbh (unlike DH's brother's wife who insists on 'married name').

I suppose I'm a non surname changing type really so my answer is biased...just don't get why some men are so precious about it when they wouldn't want to change their names.

To longjane, after your divorce could you reinvent yourself and leave that surname and that chapter behind, with a surname that you like, or maybe a family surname that is not your maiden name, your mother or grandmother's surname?

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