to be upset about sister?

(39 Posts)
HeyToodles Mon 18-Feb-13 00:07:04

Please tell me if im being unreasonable or not, I cant work it out.

Basically me and my little sister have always been really close (she is a lot younger than me, only 19)

A few months ago I had a baby, sisters first niece, parents first grandchild et c.

Sounds really trivial but my sister does not show one bit of interest in my dd, never wants to come see her, never wants to talk about her etc. Never bought her a xmas present ( which I can understand, being on a trainee wage, but the thought that counts etc)

Basically things came to a head last night when I went to visit, im trying my hardest to forge a relationship between aunt and niece.

DD is only 10 months so has recently found her voice so is very loud and vocal at the moment, however she was choosing to chatter through hollyoaks so my sister said 'cant you shove a dummy in its gob to shut her up?'

Am I being unreasonble to be upset that my sister doesnt show an interest? Or aibu because my sister is young and im being all pfb?

Cherriesarelovely Mon 18-Feb-13 07:19:55

Sorry, just to add I think that is pretty immature behaviour for a 19 year old.

ENormaSnob Mon 18-Feb-13 08:10:01

I have zero interest in other peoples babies and kids tbh.

But, your sister sounds really quite nasty.

lottiegarbanzo Mon 18-Feb-13 08:34:53

She is being really rude and unkind.

I can see though that while her job indicates she may be interested in babies of her own one day, at the moment she wants to separate work and social time and use the latter to make the most of being young and free.

Megatron Mon 18-Feb-13 08:43:54

AW I don't think YABU at all. My daughter has a serious life long medical condition and my sister NEVER asks how she or shows any interest at all. Yet she got upset when I forgot that her daughter was taking part in a dance display (had been up all night with my daughter). Its hurtful isn't it?

Your sister is 19, she's an adult not a child and I think its awful that she shows no interest. I was 18 when my first niece was born and was besotted from day one. She doesn't need to be like that but she certainly should not be referring to her as 'it'. sad

ChasedByBees Mon 18-Feb-13 16:27:17

Did you point out what a hypocrite your sister was being Megatron?

yellowsheep Mon 18-Feb-13 16:57:15

My twin sister shows very little interest in any of my 3. I find it sad really as genetically they share our genes so they could be hers iyswim

I am hoping she may come round when her and partner have children of their own...

CheeseandPickledOnion Mon 18-Feb-13 16:57:41

I'm sorry you can't expect a 19 year old to necessarily be interested in a baby. I wouldn't have been either. Noisey little things. wink

Just talk to her.

GregBishopsBottomBitch Mon 18-Feb-13 20:57:34

Age really isnt the issue, from 15 i was helping my mum babysit my nephew, i loved it, then from 16 i was babysitting my little sister, so i dont think age is the factor, its a personal preference factor.

littlewhitebag Mon 18-Feb-13 21:04:59

My DD is 20 and she just has no interest at all in babies and wouldn't know how to act around one. If she said what your sister said i would assume she was trying to be funny (and failing a bit). Some people are just not keen on babies but she might be able to relate to it better once your DD is a bit older and being more responsive. Don't force the issue and let the relationship develop in its own time.

I'll be honest she sounds very immature and a bit jealous really. My DSD is 20, she also has no interest in babies but quite a few of her friends have had babies in the past couple of years. She plays with them, buys them toys, takes them out, changes their nappies etc. She was the same when her sisters were babies. I don't think what you're describing is a normal reaction for a 19 year old, especially one that actually works with children.

No yanbu. Of course many 19 year olds aren't particularly interested in babies but that baby is her Niece and she can keep a polite tongue in her head when you are there.
I would be very pissed off she refererred to her as 'it' aswell.
Tell your mother and then wait for an apology. I wouldn't be contacting her.

justmyview Mon 18-Feb-13 21:45:45

When I was 19 I thought all babies looked like potatoes. Children are more interesting once they can talk + do stuff. Referring to your DD as "it" was rude though. You can tease your sister about that later

LimboLil Mon 18-Feb-13 21:47:51

Her comment was rude but at age 19 she is prob at a different stage in her life. There is a gap between me and my siblings. I was 16 when I became an auntie! Most of my nieces and nephews were born when I was around 18/19, I can remember coming in at 2am and my mum telling me my nephew had been born, that kind of thing. I used to babysit a bit for one of my sisters and always bought pressies etc. I didn't start having babies until my 30s and although my youngest is only 5, I am a great aunt too! Tbh I am always going to be out of sync with my siblings! My way of dealing with that is to have friends at that same stage I am at. Maybe when your sis is a bit older you can ask her to babysit for you, I bet she will get more interested then :-)

HeyToodles Mon 18-Feb-13 22:51:25

Thank you all for the replies.

I have felt awful all day for posting this because I do really love my sister, and I know she would be horrified if she saw this post.

Im just going to let things progress as they will, hoping she will take more of an interest as dd gets older. I have noticed my younger brother (26) has engaged hell of a lot more with dd now she is more responsive and play games with him! In fact I cant get rid of him he always comes to visit dd which I think is lovely!

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