To be tired of people that expect lifts??(34 Posts)
I do not mind in the slightest about giving my friends lift - it's what all friends do.
However it's the none driving friends that are starting to grate on me now. Friend text me every week to tell me to pick her up so she can come to the same exercise class as me - fine. But it rarely even gets a thank you, it's just expected every week that I will do it.
Which of course I will she's my friend, but it's the fact that it's not appreciated and its just expected now.
We decided as a group of friends to meet up at the weekend and a different friend announced "well if we are meeting at B's house then someone is going to have to give me a lift"
- Ok .... fair enough, how about asking politely would someone give you a lift rather than just expecting it?
I don't think it's that some non drivers are entitled just that some people are entitled. Some of them happen to be non drivers so expect others to give them lifts. I know two people who are entitled and even though they drive still prefer someone else to give them lifts as apparently they 'don't like driving'.
Can I give it from the other way too - I don't drive - I get pretty much everywhere by bus (lucky to live in the suburbs I know)....... For our Christmas do - out of town - I arranged a lift with hubby - but friend says -"I drive past you to get there anyhow.." so I graciously accept a lift planning to buy the first drink.
She turned up 30 min later than arranged, so we arrived late - everybody else there - I say "Sorry we are late" and she errupts - "well I WAS giving you a lift, but if you are going to be that ungrateful......" as if I couldn't have or hadn't already made my own arrangements and she was doing me the hugest favour around.... I can't win.....
I only recently got my driving lisence and before that I LOVED getting the bus!
I was always bussing it everywhere and found I am just as independant then as I was now.
I never expected lifts.
That said, I do enjoy things like, I have a friend who I have dinner with and I pick him up from work, well out of the way, go to his and he serves a meal.
He would serve one even if I didnt offer, and if I didnt wouldnt moan.
You need to speak to this friend if it really does your head in.
It is annoying not to get a thank you.
But I do not like getting lumped as a non driver, when I wasn't I mean, as I never expected anything.
I loved getting the bus with my ipod on and chilling out.
YANBU to be frustrated OP, but YABU not to do/say anything about it. A user is a user, period, whether it's about driving or something else.
The comment of someone will have to give me a lift should have been met with. No someone doesn't have to give you a lift, but if they are kind they may offer.
She sounds like a complete bitch and I don't think I could not say anything.
YANBU. I do not drive. I am lucky as I have friends who will often offer me lifts but I hate asking. From time to time I will ask - eg dd was invited to a party rcently that would have been at least a £40 round taxi ride or 7 hour round trip by bus so I asked her friends mum if she'd mind taking her too and offered petrol money (that wasn't accepted)
Tell your friend that she could use buses, taxis, walk or wait to be offered a lift. If she goes on about not being able to afford public transport put the costs of running a car in front of her - petrol, depreciation, insurance, tax and parking.
Next time say "oh I think I'd like to drink that night, would you be able to pick me up as you come by in your taxi please?" and see how she takes it. Its the same thing to be honest
I had a friend a bit like that but it came to an abrupt end when she had her second baby and realised that her & her two dc's wouldn't fit in the car with me and my two dc's.
When I didn't drive I then had more money to spend on taxis as running a car is expensive. I also cycled more. The nondriving friends probably save at least £1000 a year by not driving (often nearer £2500). You can get alot of taxis with that.
If you don't want to give someone a lift just say it's not convenient, or drop the exercise class for a while if you can't do that and restart on a different day, or start cycling to the class.
I used to have a colleague like Tulahoob's. Two university interns joined my company and moved into a house up the road from me. I offered to drive them in (foolishly, with hindsight) and the arrangement was they had to be at mine by 8am. I didn't ask for petrol money (although it would have been nice to have some small gesture of gratitude).
All started well, then they started arriving a bit after 8. I could tell it was the boy's fault, as the girl was so profusely apologetic, and everything about their work ethic indicated she was the dedicated one, he was the 'cruiser'. I don't know why she didn't just leave without him, but I guess she didn't want confrontation.
Eventually, after I'd been late several mornings in a row, I told them I had a very important meeting the next day, had to be on time, would be leaving at 7.55 with or without them.
Of course they weren't there at 7.55, so I left. They arrived at work late, she was almost crying with anxiety, he made some ridiculous joke that basically implied it was my fault they were late.
I did the same the next day. And the next. The third day she turned up alone, I gave her a lift, he got the bus and was late. That was pretty much the routine for the rest of their placement.
I often think back to them and really, really hope she came out of uni and got a great job, while he ended up doing some menial, deadend, soul-destroying job. But I just bet it was the other way around. Life's a bit crap in that way.
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