Mumsnet Talk

Ok so took my 9 year old to his first football match on Saturday and there were 2 other mums there that I know and talk to on a regular basis. So anyway half time and they ask if the other one wants a coffee an off they trot to the clubhouse. So as its was freezing cold am I being a bit precious to think they could have asked me if I wanted one. If id have been going to get one I would have asked them. Am I just being a bit silly?

Were you stood with them in conversation, or just stood near them?

Could you not have just said something along the lines of
"oh! That's a great idea, I might join you...it's bitter isn't it?"

It was bad manners not to have included you. Did they come back to stand by you or stay in the clubhouse?

I'm a bit of a sensitive soul and would probably be upset too. But being upset at things like this is being over sensitive.
I'm not being rude, I am like this too.
And trying not too be

I can see what you mean OP, but you are over-thinking this tbh. This always happens at rugby, it's more casual than other situations.
Sometimes I'll be the one to go off with someone and a mum will come running up behind, 'wait for me!' So do that next time

I also can't think straight when freezing outside watching sport, so bobble about without thinking.

maxpepsi- I Was talking to them about other stuff. But I know they are all really freindly and do lots of stuff outside of school .

Sugarrice- They came back and stood right next to me

Stickemup - I am probably being abit too over sensitive as I dont really get involved with parents as I work all the time.

You're not unreasonable to think that they were rude (they were) but you should let it go now - it was two days ago.

I wouldn't care tbh, as they don't sound like your bff's. Maybe ask them if they want a coffee next week? I wouldn't bother though.

It was both rude and ignorant, but some people just are.

yanbu - they were very rude not to ask you to go along with them.

I often don't think about anything past what I'm doing at that moment in time so I could easily have forgotten to ask a friend if she wanted me to get her a coffee, but my friends would have just asked me to get them one. If my friends were going off to get one I would have asked them to get me one.

I'm not a mind reader and I'm not responsible for other people. It takes me all my time just to keep on top of the needs of my own family. Sometimes I just need people to speak up if they want me to do someting for them and sometimes I just want them to take responsibility for themselves.

(Disclaimer, sorry OP but you hit a raw nerve. I'm still stewing over something that happened at the weekend)

I take a flask of coffee with me. Problem solved.

Oh, and I don't offer to share it as I'm a miserable git

It was rude, but maybe you should just have "known" to go and get a drink. Next week just trot along with them

YANBU.

I think they're either very rude or seriously lacking in social skills. I can't imagine ever being joined by someone and not asking them if they wanted a coffee or to come along and join us for one.

What a shame you didn't say "Right, I'll go and get myself a coffee. Bye" when they came back over.

Did they bring their coffees back with them when they re-joined you?

YANBU. It was rude and unfriendly and the kind of thing two immature thoughtless schoolgirls would do.

They sound rude. When I used to be freezing my tits off watching ds1 play soccer we always asked if anyone else wanted a coffee.

Were they discussing something already before you arrived? Maybe they were talking about something personal and wanted to continue the discussion?

I doubt they were being intentionally rude. I can just think of quite a few reasons why they might do that really...

"I'm not a mind reader and I'm not responsible for other people. It takes me all my time just to keep on top of the needs of my own family. Sometimes I just need people to speak up if they want me to do someting for them and sometimes I just want them to take responsibility for themselves."

I'm not a mind reader either which is why I'd ask someone if they wanted a coffee.

I suppose we all have our own ideas as to what good social manners are. To me you're just making excuses for your own thoughtlessness. You'd really go and get yourself a drink and not ask your friend if they'd like one too?

Haven't we all got families, jobs, worries and responsibilities? It doesn't stop us being kind and considerate.

I think if you were having a conversation with them both then it was really rude of them not to ask you. You're not being oversensitive at all.

I might not have offered you a coffee if I only had enough money in my purse to get mine. That is no reflection on how much I like you. I just wouldn't have wanted to say 'I'm sorry I'm too skint to shout you a coffee' and get into a conversation about who was going to pay for it.

Maybe she only had £1.40 (or however much the 2 coffees were oing to cost) on her ?

x-posted!

Yes it's rude and annoying.

However it might stem from shyness or social awkwardness perhaps?

My cousin wouldn't think to offer for example, not because he's mean, he's just a bit shy and socially inept.