Mumsnet Talk

Oh well it just doesn't bother me. I don't feel lied to when I read fiction. I know everything in it is made up, but on the other hand, in a more general hand-wavy sense, novels (good ones) speak a certain kind of truth, if only a general emotional truth about the author or about people in general. I don't think of these blogs are reportage, or as someone trying to lord it over me. I just sort of think "good for you" like I do when I see someone who has really pulled together a nice outfit and is smiling. I feel that even more if I happen to know her father is ill and she is overdrawn at the bank. I know she didn't fall out of bed like that but I appreciate the look all the same.

I think when we pretend bad/annoying/disappointing/boring things don't happen, it is fake. It is certainly not the truth.

Of course itis not fake to put party clothes on for a party. But I will bet those kids get changed before many of their 'natural' photos. That is fake.

'a life of findus pancakes in a gloomy artex room under flourescent strip lighting'

"curryeater, I think I love you. "

And I!

This is weird but I like those Stay At Home Daughters blogs. All very sweet and lots of crafts and book reviews and photographs.

Bit weird but that makes me read them .....

Yellow, when you say they are fake do you mean that they are entirely staged (that family may not exist or live in that house) or that they are just sort of stage-managed (she does not choose to post videos of her child flailing face down, snotting on the carpet, screaming "NOOOOOO SHOOOOOES! NO SHOES MUMMY!")? Because if the latter, that isn't exactly fake. It's celebrating the moments when your child is smiling, not pretending that the above scenario never happens. I think. It's up to you. I mean when we go to parties I put my girls in clean pretty dresses rather than the stained hand me downs they might wear sometimes. Does that make us fake?

I guess I just don't get it, I like genuine inspiration rather than fake fluffy fairy tales.

The soothing, pretty pictures?

Just like that article described, there is so much negativity around, so it's nice to see something...nice.

I understand that they only show the best parts and may actually have it really tough. I assume the best parts are somewhat real and not entirely hand-painted in photoshop.

But they are fake! They are pretend. Why do you want to look at make believe, leave-out-any-bad-bits lives? They are not really like that. I dn't get it at all.

I enjoy those happy mum blogs too. It's nice to look at their serene homes and peaceful children and nice homemade everything. However sometimes they do make me feel that I not being "frugal" and crafty enough!

'a life of findus pancakes in a gloomy artex room under flourescent strip lighting'

curryeater, I think I love you.

mam29, this is the leap I don't make - I don't ever feel worse about myself looking at blogs like this, just because they have made such yummy photos I don't survey my chaos and feel bad. This is odd, because I am usually the first person to leap whining onto any excuse to feel bad, but in this case I honestly think you can choose not to - because:

- all children are gorgeous. Yours might be a bit grubby at the moment but if you faffed about with your photos like that blogger, yours would be as, or more, gorgeous. Just revel in it.
- I have never been the prettiest girl in the class. I am used to women looking better than me and it doesn't make me feel bad. I am used to other people having newer, posher stuff than me too. Now I just celebrate nice looking women and I actually like publicity for really good looking mothers because I hate that "mumsy" is used as an insult.
- They don't do any harm! It is not as if there is only a certain amount of pretty, twee joy in the world, and them making saffron tofu paella and photographing it, all overexposed with a flattering filter, dooms you to a life of findus pancakes in a gloomy artex room under fluorescent strip lighting. They haven't taken anything away from you!
- I might be a sucker, but to me they really look happy. I like happy. Is that stupid? Am I an idiot?

If they made me feel bad I wouldn't look. I haven't bought a women's magazine for about 20 years, I know what makes me feel bad and what makes me feel good. If they make you feel bad, then don't look.

Yes Sparky no nastiness to Kelle she's different,loved the fight with a bush post!

I meant bile not vile. But it is vile.

That anti-blog forum is just people spewing vile.

I have a blog. It's ace. But of course it's self-indulgent; that's rather the point of a blog, innit?

Mostly I'd say YANBU,but I love Kelle Hampton,and I really admire the way she fundraiser for downs syndrome.

Linen party hats!!!! Oh my jeffing nora.

How to knit a snood!!! How to knit a snood?! Oh god I am ranting uncontrollably

And franky some fucking hideously impractical clothing too.

Babyccino, if ever there was a collective for smugness, it is there. oh yes photos of dinner time, which is a mélange of pasta and artisanal hand grinded pine nuts, Parmesan, oil and basil (fucking pesto). Jog on you saps.

I know they thought it was a hoax and maybe it is.
But they started with the bitching right at the beginning. Starting a whole thread after her child apparently died.

Horrible. Mind you that whole forum makes Mumsnet look like Fluffywuffy Love Bunnies.com.

This is all horrible. Just checked that particular forum MrsDeVere and it's shocking, both the people commenting on it but the mother involved too.

Apparently the reason they're talking about it is because they're concerned it's a hoax; as she facebook-ed the whole horrible experience almost "live" (as it happened) and is asking for money from people.

The dark side of social media. <shudders>

Fucking hell that anti blog forum has a whole thread dedicated to being vile to a woman whose child died of SIDS.

Nice.

It's worth remembering that many of these blogs will be written by people working in industries where your 'personal' blog acts a showcase for certain skills (photography, web and graphic design, copywriting etc.) so the purpose is not necessarily to reflect real life.

I do love "not perfect" mom blogs, though. The ones where they admit frustration and post pictures of their filthy kitchen tables. They are My People.

I really ought to give blogging another go...it's my dream to be part of the mumsnet bloggers.

What I cant work out though is

1)are they delusional as often some portray their blives totally diffrent to how I kno it is as when they whnge on forun then publish the latest super blog bit of a contradiction.

2)Do they do blogs to feel better about themselves?
Does making other mums feel worse abouy themselves?
if thats the case does other feeling rubbish and not as good make blooger feel smug and better?

3)Noticed many see it as huge moneymaker-yet read its hard and fulltime work to make money on blogs or they see it as start of some career if liked to a compay as often companies have bloggers talkig about nothing related to the product and I find myself thinking whats the point?

4)Agree child privacy and exposure-once published they for world to see yet how precious are some about security /privacy settings on facebook.

5)celebrity culture-some read like magazine article in ok.
Here I am relaxing with my wonderful family at bluestones.
Heres what one company gifted me, look at me in this restaurant at press launch. look at me im a mum and im not afraid to be naked.

I blame facebook as people post hour by hour status updates.

I dont blog about my mummy life as its boring, stressful and mundane no glamour here occasionally kids take good photo. occasionally they behave. Ocassionally I look less like been dragged through hedge backwards.

I have nothing against bloggers per say infact sort of set up a blog this year with purpose to advertise my small business its not all about me and my family ie lil mam lil princess -yuck!

I think they have to have useful purpose ie crafting, food something of interest other than vain overconfident writer.

Also certain degree of tact needed when yet another week you spammed with freinds new blog, saying follow me its all so desperate.