I know alot of you might be thinking wow jumped up lil madam, I will give you the history and then you can let me know what you think.
I have been with my oh for 4 years, he lived over 90 miles away before we lived together, his son lived with mum and he had daily contact till he moved to be with me.
My partner and I don't drive but at every given chance he went to visit and stayed with friends for a week or two to spend as much time as possible, there was no set schedule it was more of when it suited her.
I had no problem with this as she didnt know me I understood that she didnt want to send her son 90 miles away with strangers, turns out this wasnt the case she didnt want to send him incase it effected her benefits.
We told her it wouldn't she had met several times at this point and she just wanted to talk about going clubbing, as my step son was starting school soon we arranged to have him during school holidays, she complained that she wasn't really getting a break as she had her older child at home so asked if we could take them during school holidays, I could see no problem with this at first as she said it would only be for a week or 2 and then we would have lil one on his own, I have 2dc of my own so 4 dc all calling me mammy was noisy and a bit hectic at times, yes her eldest called me mammy we spoke to them and they understood I wasnt their mammy but they shrugged and said but I feel like you are you do proper mammy things like give me nice food.
This continued for a year before social services got involved with her for neglect of the children, I was kinda relived as I thougth she might get the help she needs now, when the kids came to stay with me they were in desperate need of a bath and new clothes and a trip to the doctors for skin complaints, chest infections.
Social services said our contact with step-son could continue but her eldest would have to stop coming, she wasnt pleased about this at all.
She has attended several parenting courses and basic cooking classes(she was feeding the kids take away type meals every night) and she thought it was funny that they kept sending her on these courses,
she added me on fb I know i shouldnt of accepted but I thought I could offer some kind of support how wrong I was she wanted to try and arrange going behind social services back so we could have her eldest at the same time so she could go out clubbing as her ususal baby sitters we not allowed to baby sit any more by social services I ask he why and she said cos they were trying to ruin her life (turns out they were sex offenders and/or had a history of violence)
I explained that i couldnt go behind social services back and that they must have a reason for been this way, while she was going through social services trying to keep her kids me and my oh were at our solicitors to see what we could do to save them we couldnt do any thing about the eldest but we could go for custody of my step son, we informed social services of our plans and also let them know when they remove her eldest from her care we would take them aswell, we didn't want to seperate them.
Before we could go for custody the dc were removed from her care after she informed me that she had tied step-sons door closed so he would stay in his bedroom I hit the roof and rang her social worker she said they were in the process of getting everything together to remove the kids and that me ringing has made it an imediate (sp?) matter, the kids were removed and placed into care the next day, 2 weeks later step-son comes to live with us her eldest is placed with another family member.
Now this is where I want to stop talking to her she rings me and whinges that the kids have been taken off her what is she going to do she has no money etc etc,
she rings her son once a fortnight if he's lucky and although we have said she has open cantact with her son (not allowed unsuppervised me and partner have to be with her at all time social services request)she hasn't seen him for 5 months sent nothing for christmas, she says she is coming to visit him but at the last minute she changes her mind saying she has no money.
My step son calls me mum and never really mentions his bio mum when she rings some times he doesnt want to talk to her on the phone I love my step son all the world but he doesnt seem at all botherd by what has happend
She has had one over nght stay with us as contact and all she wanted to do was get drunk and go to the pub I declined but that night she told me alot she got herself a bottle of wine for when the kids were in bed and i was shocked and appaled by some of the things she said alot of which social ervices knew nothing about,
She now messages on fb or texts me looking for sympathy and to be honest i have none for her and feel like saying f**k off out of our lives your son is better off with out you and is lucky to be alive.
there's alot I havn't put in here as it would make this really long thread so much longer what would you all do in this situation
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AIBU?
By not wanting to talk to step-sons mum(very long sorry)
15 replies
tinkerbelle31 · 08/02/2013 10:15
OP posts:
MariusEarlobe ·
08/02/2013 10:27
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