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AIBU to be angry with nephew for joining EDL?

(49 Posts)
lilly40 Wed 06-Feb-13 22:57:31

Just saw on Facebook my 22 year old nephew has joined the EDL. I'm horrified, embarrassed, angry and really disappointed with him. I've been an anti racist campaigner for years now. I'm in a mixed relationship, and have children and one on the way. My nephew is currently borrowing my sons laptop. AIBU to want it back and not want him spreading his messages if hate in it?

lilly40 Wed 20-Feb-13 07:30:15

Have asked for the laptop back and he was pissed off. I have a flimsy excuse over the phone and will tell him face to face the reasons.
Spoke to my eldest son who's laptop it is, by firstly asking if he knew what EDL are. Bless him, he knew what they are. Told him his cousin has joined and how angry its made me. I'll get the laptop back this weekend.

lilly40 Fri 08-Feb-13 10:34:49

EXACTLY!! Hemel is mostly white english and he's moaning! Just goes to show how far his hatred lies really doesn't it! I've not plucked up the courage to speak with him yet. I live about 13 miles away from him and would need to arrange to drive up there and arrange to meet him. I wouldn't tell him over the phone I was coming to get the laptop. I'd just say I was coming to meet him and then tell him face to face. I think I will tell him why I'm taking it and stuff the consequences. I've been so good to him and feel totally betrayed!

Bloody hell, he's in Hemel and is freaking out about there being too many minorities?! It's mostly white english here as far as I've seen! Bloody idiot.

MummytoKatie Thu 07-Feb-13 23:30:08

Qq as something has just occurred to me and I don't want to go on the EDL site as that will up their traffic .

If it is the English Defence League does that mean they disapprove of me and dh? (I am English, he is Welsh and we live in England.)

lilly40 Thu 07-Feb-13 18:11:07

There is no way a mate of his could have logged into his account! Consider also his comments on polish coming here taking all the jobs. It's the age old adage of 'I'm not being racist..... but'
He's an adult who knows exactly what he's doing. Sooner I get my laptop back the better. He won't take kindly to it at all and I'm at risk of falling out with my sister because I'd it too! He's had the laptop for almost a year so he could have bought himself one by now. But I feel he he's taking advantage of our kindness a bit, knowing that its not really missed!!

OkayHazel Thu 07-Feb-13 16:45:27

hang on a minute! ask him about it first, make sure its not of his mates winding him up.Last week my aunt rang me because she thought id come out as a lesbian after my flatmate took the opportunity after id left my account logged in! grin

MechanicalTheatre Thu 07-Feb-13 14:13:08

People that are going on about his age, COME ON! He is 22 years old! If he was 12, maybe.

lottiegarbanzo Thu 07-Feb-13 13:51:18

EDL is quite a distance from UKIP - some long way and then the other side of the BNP.

RoomForASmallOne Thu 07-Feb-13 13:40:42

Thank you for English Disco Lovers link grin

OP YANBU

Hopefully your influence will help him cop on.
Good luck.

The security services monitor hate groups who are active online and on the streets. Another good reason to get your laptop back pronto.

gordyslovesheep Thu 07-Feb-13 13:35:55

LOVING English Disco Lovers grin

YANBU

lilly40 Thu 07-Feb-13 13:33:23

My nephew works full time and is also training to be an SIA security guard. I can't imagine them welcoming anyone with those views! Unfortunately his mother holds UKIP views which we've argued on and just don't talk about anymore, so I guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.
I agree that at 22 he is not too young to be ignorant of how abhorrent having such views are. I will get my laptop back I just don't know what on earth I'll say to him. Right now I'm just so disappointed and bloody angry with him! It also makes me wonder what he thinks about my relationship and has he been harbouring ill thoughts towards my partner and I? Grrrrrr

Does your nephew have a job or is he just looking for work?

Either way, it might also be useful for you or his mum to have a word about how public he's making his declaration of joining the EDL if he's put it on Facebook, where potential or current employers can see it.

On one hand, it might be good for them to know what he's actually made of, but it won't exactly help him in the jobs market.....

EasilyBored Thu 07-Feb-13 10:59:46

Get your laptop back and cut contact. He can believe whatever vile racist crap he wants, but that doesn't mean you are obliged to listen to it or speak to him ever again.

StuntGirl Thu 07-Feb-13 10:57:57

He's entitled to his beliefs,

Equally you're entitled to not have anything to do with him.

I would absolutely cut out a friend or family member who joined an abhorrent group like the EDL.

seeker Thu 07-Feb-13 10:54:11

He's 22! I don't buy this "oh, he's only young" thing. 22!

ouryve Thu 07-Feb-13 10:52:47

Good grief! YANBU. Get that laptop back and then tell him why. Check out the hard drive carefully before you give it back to your DS, too.

DialsMavis Thu 07-Feb-13 10:50:50

Please check whether it's the English Disco Lovers or the vile EDL. I was shock angry when I glanced at FB the other day and saw loads if my friends joining EDL until I realised. wink

Cherriesarelovely Thu 07-Feb-13 10:37:01

YANBU. I think this is one of the few things
I couldn't tolerate from someone close to me. Agree that you ought to retreive the lap top and explain to him why.

Skiffle Thu 07-Feb-13 08:02:12

Well of course he's "entitled to his beliefs", in the sense that you can't and shouldn't physically suck these thoughts from his brain. But you are equally entitled to tell him how repulsive his beliefs are.

HollyBerryBush Thu 07-Feb-13 07:12:19

FWIW, when the National Front was in its heyday in the 1980's I knew plenty of mixed race West Indians who were members.. I never quite understood that.

lottiegarbanzo Thu 07-Feb-13 05:43:38

So he's borrowing a laptop from the mixed-race son of a foreigner? That should be embarrassing for him. Food for thought, or discussion, if you can bare it.

PessaryPam Thu 07-Feb-13 03:50:20

ll31 He's entitled to his beliefs , not just beliefs you agree with.

Exactly so. And the OP is entitled to ask for her laptop back. It's up to her if she doesn't want to have anything to do with her nephew. He may very well not approve of her too.

ll31 Thu 07-Feb-13 01:39:10

He's entitled to his beliefs , not just beliefs you agree with.

DizzyZebra Thu 07-Feb-13 00:35:13

YANBU to want to fetch your laptop - His actions make you want to distance yourself, and generally when we distance ourselves from a person we don't leave that person with high value goods of ours.

He is entitled to his own beliefs, no matter how bad they are, and all you can really do in that respect is try to explain to him why his actions have hurt you and what they say about him.

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