to think parents should keep their children off Facebook?

(43 Posts)
JoanByers Fri 01-Feb-13 17:36:42

This girl was apparrently abducted, possibly by 2 19-year-old males, now found safe and well:
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/02/01/missing-girl-kerry-goddard-found_n_2597373.html

Her FB profile is public (v. easy to find), and is being followed by a man in Delhi (Delhi, India), who likes all her posts and says things like "sexo pic" (this girl is 12 years old), as well as another 20-something male from Karachi (that's Karachi, Pakistan).

12 year old girls should not be dealing with this shit.

maninawomansworld Mon 04-Feb-13 10:03:45

Yup, kids have no business having mobile phone, facebook accounts, etc..
Computer access fine, but in a 'public' area of the home where they can be monitored. Any email passwords etc.. must be handed over when requested.
Kids are biologically different to us, the frontal lobes which put the metaphorical brakes on when you're about to do something stupid are basically not there. Just look at a child's / adolescent's brain scan and you'll see it's physically different, there's this huge bit at the front just... missing, literally missing!
Until that is fully formed you can't trust a child completely.

pollypandemonium Sun 03-Feb-13 12:48:43

Facebook is a lot safer than the games forums aimed at children - they are riddled with pedos because they are completely anonymous.

At least with facebook you can insist on being their friend and can see who they are friends with, adjust their settings to make sure they are not 'public'.

Facebook can be a very good thing for children that feel isolated - but like anything, it needs parents to set boundaries.

JoanByers Sun 03-Feb-13 12:45:19

This girl also has an ask.fm

ask.fm/Kerrygoddard

and a twitter

https://twitter.com/Diablow_Trentx

usualsuspect Sun 03-Feb-13 11:49:35

You can stop her seeing anything on your wall

MrsMushroom Sun 03-Feb-13 11:20:08

She doesn't comment on mine...I never add any! grin but others you know....friends of the family etc and people are obviously feeling awkward as when there's a bit of a conversation about a pic for example, she'll comment inappropriately and in badly spelled 9 year old fashion and it's cut dead! Because most reasonable folk don't want to chat on FB with a 9 year old!

usualsuspect Sun 03-Feb-13 10:12:08

You can stop her seeing your comments and pictures. MrsMushroom.

People need to learn about privacy settings on FB.

mrsjay Sun 03-Feb-13 10:10:37

I dont have kids on my facebook well teenagers I dont need to read all their dramas and whatnot, I did to start with had friends and relatives children but god they are all so daft and dramatic

MrsMushroom Sun 03-Feb-13 10:07:38

My niece aged 9 has a FB account and she's always popping up and commenting on photos and she looks older in her pic. I'm always so worried someone will see her and go after her.

My sister who I've spoken to about it just dismisses me. I have no idea why..she's usually sensible. I think she has this idea that kids need FB to be cool and she wants her DD to be cool.

My DD is 8 and no way on Gods earth is she joining until she's old enough. And I dont care if that makes her square.

mrsjay Sun 03-Feb-13 10:02:55

It is bloody scary floaty kids are so stupid sometimes would they give a random stranger their address in the street yet they hand over pins to anybody

floatyjosmum Sun 03-Feb-13 10:00:24

I'm a sw and have learnt so much about bbm over the past 18 months as its become more popular.

Kids bc (broadcast to us old folk) their pins to everybody they know along with their friends pins and before you know it the teenage boy sending flirty texts is really a 40 year old paediphile!

My ds doesn't have a blackberry or what's app on his own. He does have fb though - is friends with me and I have his password which he is not allowed to change! I check it and read his messages - which he knows about! He's also not allowed to be friends with anyone other than kids in his class etc

mrsjay Sun 03-Feb-13 09:56:14

Parents should teach their children how to use the internet safely,not ban it.

I agree with you usual banning only makes it a forbidden fruit doesn't it saying that some kids can get carried away and I suppose parents can't monitor everything especially teenagers

usualsuspect Sun 03-Feb-13 09:54:48

Parents should teach their children how to use the internet safely,not ban it.

mrsjay Sun 03-Feb-13 09:54:43

You also need to think about how many kids have got bbm!

this BBM seems to be bad for bullying and bitching they all share pins with what seems anybody, my 2 havn't got a blackberry so im not sure how it all works, but my friends teen gives out her pin over facebook to her a squillion friends, thats another thing parents need to look out for teenagers with hundreds of friends hmm.

floatyjosmum Sun 03-Feb-13 09:49:13

It isn't just Facebook though - there are loads of social networking sites its just fb is the one everyone knows most.

You also need to think about how many kids have got bbm!

Bunbaker Sun 03-Feb-13 08:42:04

"I think teaching chlidren about internet safety and keeping their personal information private is probably the better way forward tbh. Showing them how to set their privacy settings to maximum, only having real friends as FB friends, etc"

I agree, and they should be made to realise the implications of anything they post. DD is 12 and will not have a Facebook account until she is 13. She knows my stance on this and why. Fortunately not many of her close friends use Facebook so it isn't an issue.

I like the idea of using my email address for private messages, although DD might not, but tough.

Her school hates Facebook because so many pupils misuse it and cause so many problems. They even hit the national press last year with some Facebook goings on. The vice principal had to involve the police and get the page shut down.

It's the parents responsibility to ensure their child's safety, whether it be teaching road sense or internet safety.

Mine are only 6 & 8 so fb isn't really on their radar however I am already laying the foundations re not believing everything you read on the internet, trust etc etc. Hopefully this will continue and with my guidance they can stay safe - fingers crossed!

MammaTJ Sun 03-Feb-13 08:22:43

You would think the parents would have realised by now and altered her security settings. Those Indian and Pakistani blokes should be blocked too.

Tee2072 Sun 03-Feb-13 08:14:48

Thanks Joan.

I 100% blame her parents. Why were they not watching her FB activity? She's under-age, anyway.

I'm glad she's safe. I hope her parents wake up.

JoanByers Sat 02-Feb-13 23:42:13
mrsjay Sat 02-Feb-13 20:20:09

and it isn't just facebook some children have free reign of you tube etc

mrsjay Sat 02-Feb-13 20:16:37

I think some parents are quite vague about what their children do on the internet tbh kids with laptops or tablets in their bedrooms yanbu I am like facebook police with dd2, dd1 is a grown up but it was bebo and something else at that age i was on her all the time,

SneezySnatcher Sat 02-Feb-13 20:05:54

YANBU. I asked one of my classes (Y3 so 7 and 8 year olds) how many of them had a FB account. 11 of them did and a few more use their parents' accounts. Three of them have Twitter.

I was shocked. This was before an e-safety lesson BTW so we did discuss how to be safe online afterwards.

MariusEarlobe Sat 02-Feb-13 19:30:00

Mine is on, mostly because dd was in a mixed age class and the children worked out how to get round the system at school and set them up without me knowing the passwords and user names.

I went balistic but she was allowed to keep it on the basis I set the password and changed the email so notifications come to my email. I am also on her friends list so can see everything and my email notifies me if she has a private message or if she adds someone.

She chats to people at school, her cousins, her friend out of school and a friend of mine.

She is not searchable, she has had it drilled into her about not accepting people.

gordyslovesheep Sat 02-Feb-13 19:15:18

YANBU my two eldest girls are 10 and 8 - their class mates have sent friend requests to me - they are children ffs what do they NEED Facebook for anyway

Our local college did a brilliant bit of work around online safety n which they created a false FB profile and ONE of the student added the faker as a friend. The faker then sent friend requests to other and within about 2 weeks 'he' had 500+ friends - they then used this profile to go into schools and explain that from that profile they knew who went to which school/college what area they lived in etc - and did a really good drama piece on FB and stalking

Kids can be keener to be 'popular' than to be safe - FB is not suitable for children

OkayHazel Sat 02-Feb-13 19:12:14

Before 13, yes. After 13 no.

The online world is as real as any other world in the 21st Century. just because you grew up without it, doesn't mean your child needs to. You wouldn't stop them experiencing other parts of society? Sex for example. You don't like it, but it's very real.

The key here is education. It is your duty to keep your child informed and safe. Obviously the parents the OP described have failed.

Keep your child aware of online dangers, and monitor where they are online (like you would when they go out with friends) and they will be fine.

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