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In thinking my friend is too old to do this?

(45 Posts)
ouestlechat Wed 30-Jan-13 21:22:36

And - does she have a problem?

We've been friends since we were 11, although we live miles away from each other now.
Every weekend (and sometimes weeknights too) she gets absolutely blind drunk and ends up either snogging someone unsuitable (someone married/someone she works with etc) or passing out on trains, falling out of taxis, losing keys etc.

We're both 37 - I never thought about it much when we were younger, but I got a text today from her at lunchtime to say she wasn't in work as she'd woken up in a train in a siding and it had taken her ages to get home.

I don't drink, so I know my judgement is sometimes skewed, but is this normal for a 37 year old. I'm really concerned about her safety too.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Wed 30-Jan-13 21:27:44

Not normal for any age. Sounds like she has an alcohol problem.

Latara Wed 30-Jan-13 21:30:34

I know people in their 50s & older who drink far too much... but i'm 36 & i don't drink like that now personally.

Going to bars & clubs is fine at 37, there are lots of places with a variety of age groups in larger towns so you don't feel out of place.

But drinking that heavily is just stupid at any age.

The problem is that she's drinking an amount of alcohol which can really affect her health badly; as well as putting herself in potentially dangerous situations.

I did used to binge drink in my 20s & behaved in a similar way, now i've stopped drinking.
A person has to want to stop though & it's very hard to stop.

Bobbybird40 Wed 30-Jan-13 21:31:21

But why are you bothered OP? Seriously.

ihatethecold Wed 30-Jan-13 21:31:36

Definitely not good.
Drinking to oblivion is a problem. For her health and her safetysad

It's not normal to pass out from drinking and wake up in a siding. At 18 or 37. She has an alcohol problem. Are you going to ask her about it?

ihatethecold Wed 30-Jan-13 21:33:11

Why would she not be bothered?
It's her friend!!

Purple2012 Wed 30-Jan-13 21:35:49

She is bothered because she is her friend and worried about her safety.

Latara Wed 30-Jan-13 21:36:12

I can understand why OP is bothered too; i have a relative who i'm concerned about who's a bit younger but drinks far too much as well; also a colleague who's close to being alcoholic.

It's normal to worry about people you're close to!!

ouestlechat Wed 30-Jan-13 21:39:36

I have tried to talk to her about it before, but her response has always been 'You don't drink, and you don't live in the city, therefore you don't know what's normal,' or some other excuse.
I'm bothered because she's my friend, my very good friend, and although she claims to be happy, I don't think she can be.
I need to speak to her about it, but I would like to do it face to face really.

Bobbybird40 Wed 30-Jan-13 21:42:29

Well yes OP but who is to say that her way of living isn't the right one - for her? Way makes you think you know best?

HoHoHoNoYouDont Wed 30-Jan-13 21:46:42

I take it she's single OP?

ouestlechat Wed 30-Jan-13 21:51:46

She is single now, yes, she broke up with her boyfriend of two years about 12 months ago, but to be honest this was happening even then.

HoHoHoNoYouDont Wed 30-Jan-13 22:06:43

Do you think her behaviour is a result of her relationship?

Purple2012 Wed 30-Jan-13 22:10:07

bobby the op is worried about her. Getting so drink you pass out on a regular basis is not a good way for anyone to live. She could lose her job if she keeps doing this and is constantly late for work/not turning up.

And more seriously something could happen to her.

pointythings Wed 30-Jan-13 22:13:05

I doubt your friend is going to accept help from you, but YANBU to be concerned - it makes you a good person. This level of drinking will have an impact on her health and will likely impact on her job as well, and it's very sad that she doesn't see that. Her age has nothing to do with it though - this behaviour is harmful at any age.

Bobbybird40 Wed 30-Jan-13 22:14:58

OP if she claims she is happy you should take her at face value - surely? What should she be doing with her life?

katiecubs Wed 30-Jan-13 22:16:39

Bobby what stupid comments?!

Annakin31 Wed 30-Jan-13 22:18:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HoHoHoNoYouDont Wed 30-Jan-13 22:20:38

I think you're right to be concerned for your friend especially as she's compromising her safety.

Bobbybird40 Wed 30-Jan-13 22:23:07

Seriously OP are you a bit jealous of your friend's partying lifestyle?

Nothing to do with age - she has an alcohol problem.
A problem drinker does not have to be physically addicted to alcohol to be damaging their mental/physical health, their relationships, their work prospects etc.
Your friend has a problem.
There is not much you can do until SHE realises she needs to get help/stop her self-destructive behaviour.

sukysue Wed 30-Jan-13 22:27:24

nothing you can do as dogwood said she is a binge drinker probably alcoholic and she is going to end up really ill and ruin her life.

katiecubs Wed 30-Jan-13 22:27:33

Yes bobby she is clearly jealous WTF?!

You are getting boring to be honest now - go away snd stop spoiling for a fight.

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