To think MIL is a pain in the Bum!

(8 Posts)

Warning Rant Alert.

We rubbed along reasonably well until George arrived but now she grates on me so much. Luckily we only see her around once a month. It's a shame as she lives with SIL who is lovely and George loves.

She thinks now George is walking I should potty train him. He is one, she insits all her Children were potty trained at this age. We went to visit this weekend and she has brought him pull ups! I told her that they are basically nappies and we will train him when and how we see fit. She said she just wanted to see how he got on with them. I was like good luck changing him when he's had a poo then.

We have been to stay this weekend, he is not the best napper in the world anyway but she makes this 100 times worse and will interfer so he doesn't sleep. She says she didn't let her children nap in the day. So after a day with them and us Saturday he crashes out at 6pm (really too late for a nap but too early for bed). Me and OH are going out so being fairly flexible as I am I say let him have 30-45 mins then wake for dinner and give him an hour before bath and bed. Not sure what time he got put down but he needed to catch up on sleep. She burst in our room at 7.30 to ask if we want a coffee, shoves her head in his cot and says is he awake. I was like well he is now! Wouldn't mind if she got him up and played with him but she then disappears off to do her jobs for the next hour or so.

She has fed him far too much all weekend despite me remarking several times she was giving more to a one year old than she eats herself. She fed him so many grapes he had a sore bottom, he had 5 poos on Sunday!

OH thinks I over react but I really want him to say something as she doesn't take a blind bit of notice of me. I understand that when others are kind enough to look after him then they will do some things there own way but I feel like she has a complete lack of respect for me. It's all the advise and implications that get me as well. OH is just like oh thats Mum.

valiumredhead Mon 28-Jan-13 14:29:33

Just remember it's quite likely YOU will be a MIL one day!

Paiviaso Mon 28-Jan-13 14:41:22

valium, surely posters don't get agitated by their MILs simply because they are MIL. They become agitated because some MILs don't maintain a respectful boundary, and insist on telling DS and DIL how to raise their children and live their lives. Severity of this varies, OP seems to have a light variety of "I know better than you how to raise your child."

valiumredhead Mon 28-Jan-13 14:57:58

Nothing in the OP seems that bad tbh - so what if she goes on about potty training? My mum does the same, everyone used to be 'trained' earlier but in reality or mums just used to pot us more so they were trained not us wink

Wrt the grapes - just ask her to lay off them next time as they gave him bad nappies.

You just have to grow a thicker skin and let the 'advice' run off your back, if it's not your MIL dishing it out it will be some other helpful soul.

I may well be a MIL someday but I hope I will be a bit more respectful. My Mum never tells me how/when/what to do with George if her opinion differs from mine. She will only give advise if it is asked for and then it's just that advise I am not expected to follow it.

I think what really annoyed me was the waking him up, I mean why?

I like to think of myself as fairly easy going but I think she is such a strong character and has always had her own way with her Grandaughter (her daughters child) that she thinks this will be the same. I am unfortunatly nothing like her daughter and will always voice my opinion and there are a few issues that I will be very firm on. I can see this boiling over at some point. Just wish OH would try and see from my point of veiw.

That's the problem I will ask her to lay off the grapes and she will completely ignore me.

I'm likely to be a mil one day too. I wouldn't dream of telling my dil she has to potty train her baby or cross the boundaries and buy pull ups.

You need to be a little more vocal next time you visit. Like if she is stuffing him up with a weeks worth of grapes again just say, "That's enough grapes now mil, he does love them but if he eats too many he gets diarrhoeah". Physically removes the grapes yourself if she ignores.

At least it's only a month too, my mil is/was like this (she's better but still gets carried away and oversteps the mark occasionally) and we see her weekly grin

deleted203 Mon 28-Jan-13 15:04:23

You could try saying to OH, 'Would you like to have a tactful word with your Ma telling her she needs to respect that this is our child and we will bring him up the way we think best? Or would you like me to scream 'FOR FUCK'S SAKE! PISS OFF YOU OLD COW! at her the very next time she winds me up? Your choice darling........' Might get the message through to him that he needs to tackle this urgently before you snap.

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