to think that if my friend really was a friend, she'd care if I had money to feed my kids ?

(62 Posts)

Long story, but basically, I childmind for my friend, before and after school. All above board, registered as self employed etc, not registered as a childminder though cos she is over 8.

Anyway, stupidly, because she is a friend there was never a contract, and now she is screwing me over.

The agreement was as follows. I was to get paid £50 per week, term time only wether I had her or not. This is because my friend works shifts so each week could be different. Depending on the shifts, I would have her at 6:50am, until school, and then after school until 5. This was usually 3/4 times a week somtimes 5.

Recently she has increasingly started to take the piss, ie asking me to collect her anyway, even if she is at home herself, because she cba to get out of bed etc. This means me driving her dd home, and costs me petrol money. I have started to say no sorry, i'm walking the school run, which is perfectly true.

She has also started doing extra hours, but not paying me any extra.

Anyway, this week I was due to have her on tues pm, wed am &pm, thurs am &pm and fri pm.
On tuesday my ds ws sick at school, and i had to fetch him. I rang her and said i couldn't fetch her dd, and i couldn't have her on the wed either. She said ok, not to worry.
I txt her on thursday night to say my ds was fine, and going back to school the next day (thurs), so i was fine for the rest of the week. No reply

Her dd didn;t arrive on the thursday morning. I saw her at school, and it turned out her elder brother had taken and fetched her on wed, and taken her that day. I said 'i'm fetching you though right ?' and she said no, her brother was.

I knew right away what was going to happen.

Today, i very briefly saw my friend in the playground, and she said she was fetching her dd that afternoon, and so that means i've not had her at all this week, and so they haven't paid me.

I think they have done it on purpose, because i couldn't have their dd on tue/wed, but fgs i use that money to feed my kids, and she knows that.

I have no idea now wether i am having her dd next week or not, or if i am ever having her again at all.

anewyear Sat 19-Jan-13 16:10:31

Sorry to hear about your daughter.
Childminding is a fantastic job for times like this when your own kids may be ill (and apart from D&V and other infectious illnesses) you can look after them at home whilst still working. And as long as the illness doesnt impinge on the care of your minded children.
Ring the benefits and whoever else offices up and ask their advice, tell them this what what youd like to do, ask exactly how it would affect you, benefits etc

MrsMushroom Sat 19-Jan-13 16:30:46

Why don't you make some flyers and see if you can get a similar arrangement with someone else? There must be lots of parents who need before and after care for their over tens?

charlottehere Sat 19-Jan-13 16:36:08

If she pays you for the full week then surley she can use you for the week wether you she is at work or not. As you are SE then you cant expect to be paid when you are not available (unless you have a contract that states this)

However she should pay you and you shouldnt be taking her DD home.

Very quick update : I txt friend to check wether I was having her dd this week. She said yes and that she would send £20 for the 2 days I was available to have her last week.
Fine, not what we agreed but fair enough.

The dd has turned up, but no money.

I am not surprised, but very dissapointed in her and will be giving her notice.

Morloth Tue 22-Jan-13 09:31:12

Contracts are your friend.

Verbal agreements are not worth the paper they are printed on.

Sort it out properly or stop doing it - nothing will change otherwise.

LittleChimneyDroppings Tue 22-Jan-13 09:58:26

She sounds like a cheeky cow. I would tell her you cant take her dd anymore.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Tue 22-Jan-13 10:04:34

I think you're right to give her notice. She sounds unreliable and difficult. Next time make sure you get a written contract at the start. I'd say it's easier to maintain a professional relationship with someone you are not already friends with.

EnjoyResponsibly Tue 22-Jan-13 10:59:01

She's got form.

Terminate arrangement.

Advertise for other DC - it seems that good ones are always in demand.

Only agree to take a DC when you've got a contract.

EnjoyResponsibly Tue 22-Jan-13 10:59:49

Advertise as a CM for other DC obvs grin

Yfronts Tue 22-Jan-13 12:28:33

Text her and just say that things are getting very confusing with working more hours and things being so changeable. Say that from now on it would be much easier to do what other childminders do and charge an hourly rate of x amount. And that you will just bill her at the end of each week from now on.

I recon she has kept her child away as she wanted to avoid sick bug.

Yfronts Tue 22-Jan-13 12:29:10

Bill her for every hour you work rather then 50 pounds a week.

No contract, no comeback, not her responsibility to pay you for days you don't collect her child, no timescales for payment written down anywhere then don't be surprised if she's slapdash with coughing up the money.

I've never seen these type of 'arrangements' between friends work out.

You'd be better off making this into a proper business, with contracts in place, and not doing it for friends.

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