Mumsnet Talk

You have been incredibly strong, dealing with a really difficult situation. From what you have posted, there was no other option. If everyone had stood back what would have happened then?!?!?

Do you think the other members of your family feel a bit guilty as they did nothing and attacking you is their way of dealing with it?

It shouldn't be the OP's responsibility, but the fact is many people don't like the idea that their relative has MH issues. Neither of my parents took any responsibility when their son (my brother) had a complete breakdown, for example. It really is amazing what people can deny when they set their mind to it.

OP you absolutely did the right thing, even if your sister never acknowledges the fact, you quite probably saved her life.

One option re your family is to tell them now that next time intervention is needed X family member is to be called because you've done your turn. You may not feel comfortable doing that, if you don't then ignore me, but as long as you continue to drop everything and run to your sister's aid then no one else needs to put themselves out. I'm not saying you would be wrong to continue to rescue her, just that it shouldn't always fall to you.

The problem with mental health is that it is an invisible disability. Some people just don't notice it or don't want to notice it until its too late.
She's lucky to have a sister like you. Hopefully she's going to be back on track soon.

They seemed to play down her issues as they can't cope/understand/deal with it. But I recon you could have saved her life?

Is it worth writing to your sister (if allowed) to say that you took these steps because you love her deeply?

well done charlie. perhaps your family didnt know how to cope with it and now feel embarrassed at their lack of action? so glad you stepped in. Hope your sis is soon well again.

Horatia is everyone said why is it my responsibility and no one did anything, then a lot of people including my sister would be in serious danger.

I took it as my responsibility because she is my sister and I could see she was unwell.

It's Horati*a*.

Admittedly I worded my post poorly: I didn't mean "why is it your business" but "why is it your responsibility" IYSWIM. I still don't see why it should have fallen to the OP to save her sister, and I wonder if the family has a history of ignoring problems until they either go away or explode.

OP, I'm sorry if I offended you. Next time I read a thread quickly and get confused, I'll just stay away.

Luckily your sister had you around op to look out for her.

Too many people like horatio don't think it's their responsibility if a family member becomes unwell, when it's so important that they get the help and support they need ASAP before things progress

Charlie It takes real love to do something like that, she obviously needs help, well done for braving the storm and getting her safe, she may not thank you now, but one day she might.

Oh angel I am so sorry to hear that, dreadfully sad x x

I had a complete mental breakdown 5 years ago and had no one to help. I lost my home, my kids and my life, I was screaming out for help at the time and I never got it till I finally cracked. I wish I had a Sister back then like you. You absolutley did the right thing

On horatio, the reason I had to deal with it, was because someone needed to take control!

In fairness, one person needs to be coordinating things, that was me. But I would have welcomed some support in the back ground.

Elmsfilbert that is great, a true reflection that mental health illness, is like a physical illness, it just needs the right meds to make life liveable.

Sadly, there is still too much ignorance of mental illness, too many people fear talking about it.

x

Wow Horatia, you don't seem to "understand" anything. Maybe you should ignore the thread!!!!

Charlie, you've done the best thing for your sister and she will be so thankful. My mum flashed her boobs at the local priest, told everyone my Dad had been promoted, and donated huge amounts of money we didn't have, to charity, in one of her many manic phases. She's now bi-polar, rather than back then being a manic-depressive. Different name, same shit storm. She never remembers the mad stuff she does, which is GOOD.

Your families reaction is wierd and depressing. I don't think you should engage with them just yet- they have no right to berate you.

People like your sister, in her state, need others to take care of them. Yu did the right thing. Repeat the mantra, and rest easy x

Thanks all, feel a lot better about it all today. Especially with all these positive comments. I know in my heart I did the right thing, it started on Boxing Day, it was just a "feeling" I had then, nothing I can say specific. By the 9th jan it had reached a critical level, with very extreme behaviour, so imagine how it would have been had it continued by now.

Spoke to hospital today and she is still unwilling to see me, I do know this will change!

But already, they are considering moving her from the high dependency ward, maybe middle of next week. So that's positive.

The family have obviously picked up on my feelings, they have been texting most of the day and being very positive.

Thanks for all your positive comments, I hope soon her meds are sorted and everything will be better for her.

All that and only one!

X

Well done op your sis is getting the treatment she needs sod your family weaklings by the sound of it.

Your sister is lucky to have someone willing to take the needed steps to put her care first.

Your family have the attitude they are will not be helpful for you, or for your sister whilst she is ill.

Take care of yourself now whilst she is in hospital.

As someone with bi polar I can say in my opinion you absolutely did the right thing. In the past I have been sectioned following my family's intervention which at the time I found really hard to take and was very angry but without their intervention I could be dead now rather than happily married with a beautiful 6 month old daughter.

I think the OP can be allowed a few exclamation marks given what she's just had to cope with.

You did the right thing, OP. Hospital beds aren't exactly in plentiful supply - if they've admitted her then she clearly needed to be admitted.

How do exclamation marks make an op hard to read

Is your full stop key broken? All the exclamation marks make your OP hard to read.

I don't understand why it was particularly your responsibility to get help for your sister. I don't understand what reservations the rest of your family have.

I hope your sister is well again soon.

I worked in a psychiatric hospital and know that once people are on the road to recovery their resentment turns to gratitude.

I work with someone, she is also a friend, who has bi polar, she has been grateful too when people have stepped in to help her.

The only thing yabu about is using exclamation marks at the end of every sentence

Really pleased dsis is safe, and that the rest of your family don't seem to realise that getting someone admitted is actually incredibly hard work, what with the chronic under-funding of MH services. There's no way she would have been admitted if she didn't have a genuine crisis level need.

Best wishes for a speedy return to health for her, and here's some to virtually chuck at your twit relatives.

well done Charlie.

you got the help your sister was in urgent need for, if your family cant see that than i am glad your sister has you.

YANBU - My sis is Bi polar - thankfully under control for the past 15 years but you did the right thing and I am sorry your family are being so bloody silly x