To HATE the perception of 'quiet' people?

(72 Posts)
SugarMouse1 Tue 15-Jan-13 18:07:34

AIBU to HATE, HATE, HATE it when somebody asks 'why are you so quiet?'.

What is the point in this question?

Especially when its just because you dont scream into peoples faces like others do. Its such an ignorant thing to say, FFS.

I mean I can be making a lot of effort being, polite, freindly etc, and then everything gets ruined by this question, it makes things worse, I never want to talk after someone says something like that.

YANBU

I am quiet, and because of that people have assumed that I am stuck up, moody, bored or boring.

I don't go around asking loud people 'whats wrong' .

nearly2013 Tue 15-Jan-13 18:53:08

I'm really quiet too, I used to want to be louder and outgoing but I can't make myself so I am the way I am!
Mine stems from childhood and I was really held back in every area of my life. I was expected to be quiet and stay in the background by narcissistic and Alcoholic parents.

If someone asks me that I tend to glare (in silence of course) at them until they get uncomfortable and fuck off.

bedmonster Tue 15-Jan-13 18:58:42

There are an awful lot of assumptions here that loud people are all rude hmm

NoillyPrat Tue 15-Jan-13 18:59:15

"YANBU

I am quiet, and because of that people have assumed that I am stuck up, moody, bored or boring.

I don't go around asking loud people 'whats wrong' ."

This and this:

"I'm really quiet too, I used to want to be louder and outgoing but I can't make myself so I am the way I am!"

And pretty much what everyone else has said.

I'm really shy too and HATE having to talk to people as I get scared blush

BunFagFreddie Tue 15-Jan-13 19:16:46

My parents used to tell me that I was too introverted and that I should make an effort to be more like my cousin. angry

I saw my family over Xmas and just gave up trying to talk to them in the end, because I couldn't get a word in edgeways. Everyone's different.

marjproops Tue 15-Jan-13 19:41:50

what noillyprat says. smile

OmgATalkingOnion Tue 15-Jan-13 19:52:28

Yanbu. I've had this all my life toohmm

Not all quiet people are shy either. That's another assumption that annoys me.
I was always described as shy at school. My mum used to say to teachers 'she's not shy, she's reserved'grin.

DameFanny Tue 15-Jan-13 19:56:57

Why are you so quiet?

'i like to think before I open my mouth'

Count the seconds til they realise what you said grin

BunFagFreddie Tue 15-Jan-13 19:57:11

People have said that I'm reserved, like it's a bad thing. hmm Not saying it's a great thing, but it's just a character trait. It's like criticising someone for being chatty.

DameFanny Tue 15-Jan-13 20:02:40

I get the reserved thing too. I tell myself they're just unnerved because they realise I'm quietly plotting their doom <cackles>

coribells Tue 15-Jan-13 20:03:18

Google Susan Cains book ' Quiet : the power of the introvert in a works that can't stop talking '

minouminou Tue 15-Jan-13 20:18:28

I just assume that quiet people are either shy, bored, or prefer to speak when they have something to say.

I'm one of the gobshites extroverts on the other thread, and I've found it really interesting to find out about the other side, as it were.

There's a mum at DS' school who admits she's socially awkward and v introvert. I just want to invite her round, get her pissed, and teach her some knob gags. But, I know this'll never work, it's not like she'll suddenly come out of her shell.

CrunchyFrog Tue 15-Jan-13 20:19:50

I hate being asked it, because if I'm quiet, I'm probably dead. It's always a bad sign with me.

Heart on my sleeve, always smiling like a maniac and a terrible one for knowing everyone's business.

Makes me good at my job (entertainer). Something about external locus of identity or summat.

minouminou Tue 15-Jan-13 20:20:54

The thing is, if she was happy with her state of affairs, so what? Who cares? Sadly, she isn't, but I don't know what the answer is.

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Tue 15-Jan-13 20:22:04

This bugs me too! Sometimes when I'm quiet it's because I'm bored shitless. Lol

minouminou Tue 15-Jan-13 20:29:02

I've got an internal locus of identity, but I lovelovelove people! What they think, what they do, how they got to where they are, the lot.
Among my friends I am happy to say there are people who really shouldn't be there! Think polar opposites on the big issues of life (if you get me). To accept them, and to have them accept me, is something I'm v proud of.
The day I get tired of people is the day I shall turn my face to the wall.

AlanMoore Tue 15-Jan-13 20:30:53

Some charming views on here!

minouminou Tue 15-Jan-13 20:31:46

Like what?

amicissimma Tue 15-Jan-13 20:34:39

"Better to say nothing and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." Attrib Abraham Lincoln

"A wise old owl sat on an oak.
The more he heard, the less he spoke;
The less he spoke, the more he heard.
Why can't we all be like that wise old bird?"

minouminou Tue 15-Jan-13 20:38:09

Amicissimma, I'll raise you this!

http://youtu.be/ABfDK1ludng

minouminou Tue 15-Jan-13 20:39:19

youtu.be/ABfDK1ludng

Hope this converts, I'm on my iPhone.

BunFagFreddie Tue 15-Jan-13 20:45:11

There's a mum at DS' school who admits she's socially awkward and v introvert. I just want to invite her round, get her pissed, and teach her some knob gags. But, I know this'll never work, it's not like she'll suddenly come out of her shell.

What makes you think that introverts don't have any decent knob gags? grin

I'm not an introvert, I'm a closet extrovert. Quiet and reserved until you get to know me - then the full extent of my eccentricity and weirdness is revealed. Queue the stereotype about having to watch out for the quiet ones!

allgoingtoshitnow Tue 15-Jan-13 20:48:43

We need extroverts to fill in the gaps between real conversation.

YABU OP, because you have been conditioned to see thoughtful silence as a bad thing.

That said though - there are times where the gobshite always wins, and so you need to learn to push yourself forwards and talk over people. Any old shit will do as long as you are talking.

Those who suffer from shyness and nerves, smoking helps a lot. Smokers are a chatty bunch for a reason and its not their outgoing personality.

minouminou Tue 15-Jan-13 20:51:57

I've had some great knob gags from introverts!
Unfortunately, the woman I mentioned is also a bit awkward socially, so I can't imagine a stream o' smut issuing forth!

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