to not understand why man get slated for dumping a pregnant woman?

(127 Posts)
TinyDancingHoofer Mon 14-Jan-13 02:21:49

If a pregnant lady broke up with the father it's fine but if a bloke breaks up with pregnant girlfriend/wife then they are torn apart. Everyone shouts how they are abandoning their unborn child. I don't get this. I mean, i do if they do a runner and are never seen again but if it is an amicable break up.

If you fall out of love with someone, surely the right thing to do is to tell them straight away, try and work things out instead of fake a loving relationship for 9 months?

This has happened to my friend. Him and his DW have 1DD. Decide to try for another. Five months into pregnancy they have split up. Everyone is saying how he has got her pregnant and is now acting like a child. But they both decided to try for a baby, plenty of women decide not to stay with the father mid-pregnancy, so why can't he? Would it be better if he just stayed with her? I've made him sound like a dick but he is a great chap. No one chooses to fall out of love with someone and he is very upset about breaking up the family.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Tue 15-Jan-13 08:16:36

Tiny, "equal" does not mean "the same"

If I employ an observant Jew, I may have to make an allowance for them on Fridays in winter that I don't have to if I employ a Christian. Nonetheless, equality law tells me I need to make that allowance.

Only women get pregnant, so only women get pregnancy related work protections.

All that being said, you do understand that the situation in your friend's case is really unusual? Most men who have broken up with a pregnant partner do not move into the garage to provide on the spot childcare (in fact, your friend is the only one I've heard of) and most women who are pregnant don't break up with their partner because they've gone off him a bit - it's often because the pregnancy is showing up things about their character for the first time.

You are trying to generalise from a pretty unique situation. In fact, if it did happen exactly as you have further clarified, it certainly wasn't a "dumping" as the woman has been shocked to find out your friend's change in feelings and has decided she doesn't want to continue on that basis.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Tue 15-Jan-13 08:19:54

Soworn, it is bad that your nephew was lied to. But would he act differently if they'd been using a condom and it split?

He can be mad at the mother for lying but the child was nothing to do with that.

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