To have not expected my 2 year old to have broken his Christmas present yet

[Peka]

I am pregnant and hormonal, but got home from work today to find my 2 year old declaring 'i break the bus' very proudly while granny looks on. He has been going through a 'throwing things' phase recently and also has A LOT of toys - most not given to him by me and his dad. But his dad thought really hard and chose his Christmas present himself and it is a lovely wooden toy bus. He threw the bus around in a more than boisterous playing way (which I have witnessed and also received a few toys in the face with recently) and managed to knock the wheel off (it's broken at the joint) and I can't now find the bit to glue it back on as granny mentioned she had hoovered up and it might have gone up the hoover. I am totally GUTTED and might cry. I know this is totally unreasonable, please tell me to get a grip.

[sparkle12mar08]

In the nicest possible way, get a grip . This will happen to more toys opver the years than you will be able to shake a stick at. At 2 he's not far from being able to realise that if he breaks something then it might not get replaced or fixed, and that's an important step on the way to looking after your own things.

[Peka]

Thanks sparkle but I am actually crying now - need more grips...

[carocaro]

Yes get a grip, he's two, breaking things is fun, they don't even mean to half the time, I have been to the tip many a time with broken toys (I have 2 boys aged 5 & 10) tis a fact of life, I did have a little cry when I had to chuck a large Scooby Doo soft toy that had become mouldy for some reason, felt very mean slinging it into the tip, his face was still so happy and trusting despite being binned!

He will still love his 3 wheeled bus even if you don't.

[KenLeeeeeee]

YANBU to be upset by it. It sounds like a lovely gift and I would shed a tear or two over it as well. Don't dwell on it though; plenty of toys will get broken but this is a really good opportunity to teach him about the importance of caring for his belongings properly so that he takes care of toys and books when he's older.

[sparkle12mar08]

Oh I've cried over broken toys, don't get me wrong, and I've been utterly heartbroken when the dc deliberately destroyed some handmade christmas decorations we'd made together just the night before. Because it was what they represented, the destroying of something we'd done together and put such love into. But you know what, we're all still here, alive and healthy, and if they're down a few toys then it's their own fault and their own problem. I've stopped letting myself get too worked up about it as I realised it's not me that's getting hurt by it - it's them. I won't spend the money twice so they know they'll have to do without.

[ladymariner]

I agree with Kenleeeeee, it always seemed to be the 'special' toys that got damaged, and in this case I'd be upset too. I don't agree that breaking toys is fun, yes toys do get broken but this is a good time to try and teach him to play nicely with them. Perhaps take them away for a short time if he's not playing properly with them?

[Peka]

Thanks all good advice. He is left with all the plastic crap and that seems to be curiously difficult to break - dammit.

[Peka]

ladymariner I should have done that when he started throwing all the passengers out in a scatter gun motion every time he played with it - but now it is too late... I will learn

[BabsAndTheRu]

It is really annoying but happens all the time. My kids are experts at. Bought them a castle last year as the reviews said how sturdy and hard wearing it was, and I quote " has lasted for years in our family". Broken within a week, finally threw it out after many many repairs and realised it was actually becoming a danger to our health as so many bits sticking out waiting to stab us all. My sister handed us down toys from her kids, she had them in her attic for about ten years, all in great condition, don't know how she managed it, but all her kids really looked after things. OMG you should see them now, I hide them when she's round. There's no point getting upset but you have to let them know its naughty not to take care of toys. Think we are starting to get somewhere with our lot now but has taken a good few years.

[DonderandBlitzen]

Go for garish plastic and not lovely wooden next time and then you won't mind so much.

[YourHandInMyHand]

If you really really love it you could empty the hoover contents out to try and find the missing piece to fix it.

When he is throwing the toys about do you remove them?
Do you have anything he can throw? A soft spongey ball, or little beanbags to throw in tubs/buckets/onto rug/sofa?

[Peka]

Yourhand he is allowed to throw all balls and soft toys, especially his big 'digger' ball. However this is the one thing he isn't interested in throwing. He does, however, love to throw anything at all left on the kitchen table (letters, keys etc), cutlery, food, anything precious or breakable or that makes a 'bangy bangy' noise. I am really quite a strict mum but any attempt to get him to stop without physically removing him or said objects just results in a manic attempt to throw as much as possible as fast as possible before I can get to him.

I did have a poke around in the hoover bag but it's one of those allergy ones that's pretty hard to get into and I also remembered it had recently hoovered up some weird dead bugs by our back door - well I think they were dead...

[BabsAndTheRu]

He reminds me so much of our eldest DS, when you caught him holding something breakable and expensive like DP's glasses you had to creep up on him and grab it before he saw you or it was hurled across the room, and like you say with anything else he could find. Oh the memories!!

[BabsAndTheRu]

Forgot to say, six pairs of glasses replaced between age 18months and 2 1/2. The joys, lucky glasses insured.

[Peka]

Don't get me started on my glasses - they're far too easy prey as they are always on my face...

[Peka]

Not insured...

[Fakebook]

Granny sounds very "airy fairy". Why didn't she stop him or try to fix it herself? Everyone knows that if you break something and you can't find the missing piece, you don't Hoover for at least 2 days until you find it. Do you think Granny is partly to blame here?

[BabsAndTheRu]

I don't know how our wee one managed it, could have them in bits in seconds. The glasses where insured by chance by my DP when he bought them, it was an offer hey had on for £10. We didn't even have kids yet. We certainly got our money's worth. Ran out at the same time he stopped that phase. Thank goodness.

[Peka]

Ah Fakebook you are perceptive but not entirely free of mischief . In granny's eyes he can do no wrong (she did make a quick exit though, I noticed, as I hunted around under the sofa).

However, I can't get hung up on that because she looks after him when I'm at work (1 day a week in my own house) and also made me dinner tonight (which I managed to burn through crying over broken bus). I think this is what is so infuriating, I can't blame a two year old - what kind of mum would I be? - I can't blame long suffering and helpful although extremely lenient and ridiculously over-indulgent granny - so I am left alone with my hormones and mumsnet. It aint pretty.

[Fakebook]

You will get over it and used to it, honestly! Dd is 5 and started breaking her toys at 3.5. We have one or two breakages a week now. Today she broke a ring I bought her on Sunday. It'll become the norm for you soon. (Unless my child is abnormal in breaking things all the time).

[DaisyBuchannan]

DS is three. Managed to break a brio track on boxing day. I mean, HOW?! It's solid wood! Get a grip here too, am afraid.

[Peka]

Thanks Daisy was starting to lose it again...

[YourHandInMyHand]

Have you heard of schemas OP? They focus on looking at what a child's currently exploring (in your DS's case it would be a trajectory schema) and looks at how we can help them explore it, fulfil the need to explore it safely, etc. Lots can be found, one link here.

earlychildcare.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/schemas-e28093-how-to-understand-and-extend-children_s-behaviour.pdf

May help you look at it as a learning and play opportunity.
Sounds draining to have things broken but this too shall pass.

[BabsAndTheRu]

My MIL can be like that as well, she wanted to see the boys in the bath once and stood and allowed them to splash so much they flooded the entire bathroom and soaked her from head to toe, I swear to god we had to get her a change of clothes. She didn't want to give them into trouble but didn't think to shout us to get them to stop. I was mad at the time, not that she new, but now thinking of her standing there soaked and letting it happen can't help laughing, I mean what's that all about?

[Peka]

They just love them so much and really want to be loved too. Poor granny isn't even his favourite relative but I think she will be when he figures that one out...