Mumsnet Talk

Someone i know but am spending more.and more time with is im.afraid,a nutjo. Please come and tell me if im being unreasonable and if not,.how do.i deal.with ths person.

The person in question always makes.a.drama out of the smallest thing. A slight cough is.pneumonia,a stomach ache is an ulcer, headache is a tumor and it goeas on and on.

Last night she came round for a curry and as she doesnt lkie spicy thngs i got her a korma. She finished about 10mins before the rest of us and when we were all finising off i tried a bit o the korma sauce froma freinds plate and said it was actually qite nice and not too coconutty. She pipes up and says (incredulously) theres ^ nuts^ in it!? Didnt you know.i.was allergic! Sits tbere for 10 mins of so heavy breathing with hands on her stomach then says shes gonna have to go, she can feel her face 'blowing up' already the thing is, she hasnt got a fucking nut allergy she was happily packing away the bountys at xmas

Wait there posted too.soon

So she phoned me.today to.say.how.ill she had been and how could i not know.about her
imaginary allergy.

Its not just illness though eveything is.about her and if its not she swifly turns it around to be about her soon enough. Drama queen doesnt quite cut it. She seems to be a type of crazy ive never experienced before and im not sure how to deal with it

Offer to phone an ambulance?

Stop seeing her unless you have to?

Laugh and say well, the bounties you were packing away were coconut too?

Ask her in a very concerned voice if she's seen someone about her anxieties?

Ignore her?

Say "oh dear. Anyway, as I was saying..."?

Ask her why she turns everything round to herself?

Scream and say oh my GOD if I have to hear one more thing I am going to throw myself off the ROOF

Laugh and say "enough about me, what do YOU think about me" when she turns the conversation to herself

Be the more mature person and let it all roll over you while amusing yourself fantasising about the above

I have a nut allergy and can't eat a lot of Indian food because of the almonds they use in the sauces.
However, I can eat coconut and korma and bounties as coconut is actually a fruit...

Could she be allergic to fruit?
If so, she should know hat curries she can and can't have.

If you have an allergy you take it seriously and don't eat anything unless your sure, and make sure you have antihistamine on you or epinephrine for the worst case scenario,
She sounds like an idiot

Oh, I forgot Top Trumps.

Go one better. Everything she says.

This is to be added to your fantasise about it while Being The Bigger Person List

Just be glad you're not her GP

Coconut isn't even a nut.

I know someone like this. She smokes like a chimney and worries why she can't shake off the cough she's had for weeks. She drinks a bottle and a half of wine a day and worries about her high blood pressure. When I suggest cutting down she just shrugs and says she can't! I've lost count of the number of times I've asked her to stop moaning about her poor health if she won't even try to address it.

Personally, I wouldn't have someone like that in my life unless they were closely related and I had no choice. Even then I'd distance myself as much as possible.

I cannot abide hypochondriacs. They drive me to the brink of craziness.

A friend of mine who was in her 80s had formerly been a medical secretary had a friend who was a terrible creaking gate who had every self diagnosed medical condition known to humankind (if you had a headache, she had a brain tumour etc. etc.)

Until my friend mischievously told the hypochondriac that a woman down the street had just had an orchidectomy performed. To which she responded 'ooh I've had that done myself it was awful' and was somewhat bemused why the assembled company were laughing themselves silly.

Sounds infuriating but I think Hecate has your answers. Although you're a better woman than me if you manage to keep them in your head!

Offering to phone an ambluance wouldnt be a good idea she would happily accept convinced she is on the brink of death. Then probably tell everyone i tried to poison her

God my BIL is like this.

I have refused to ever go out to family meals with him. Its really boring and embarrassing sitting there while he inspects and dissects everything on the menu, so that he doesnt upset his dairy intolerance.

Its even more annoying when I found him in the kitchen at Christmas stuffing his face with dairy milk.

Have never done this on MN before because I am resolutely determined not to become one of the professionally offended (and I'm not offended now). But are you aware that hypochondria (better known as health anxiety) is actually a serious mental illness on a par with OCD and GAD?

I've suffered (and that's the right word) debilitating & serious health anxiety for about 20 years and feel a bit sad that you feel able to use the term "nutjob". Would you if you were talking about OCD or someone having a panic attack?

But that's not to say that I don't take your point - it IS very wearing when someone won't shut up about their health. I would drive myself crackers, so you have my sympathy.

But try to be aware that your friend may have no control over this and may be quite unwell. CBT could help.

Sounds like my MIL. Very wearing. We've never any idea whether she is actually ill, or just having one of her melodramas.

Its even more annoying when I found him in the kitchen at Christmas stuffing his face with dairy milk

There are people with HA & then there are idiots! That's hilarious! Did he not spot the two clues in the name.....Dairy & Milk!

We all know a perpetual moaner, the one that lives on google Dr forums and convinces them selves they have every ailment going. it is incredibly waring.

ellie i understand but this woman goes waay past hypercondriac. Im not sure what the word for it is but everything must be about her and this is just one way of controlling situations

Its all about attention. Dairy allergy is the latest thing.

Agreed - it's attention seeking. And bloody silly too - eating Bounties and then panicking about coconut in a Korma!?

I hasten to add, I have never been like that - so she might just be a drama queen. Very trying.

She will probably be more than happy to eat nuts next week then claim she doesnt know what im talkng about if i mention her allergy. Then bring up the occasional allergy whenever she sees an opportunity to manipulate a situation

A coconut is a seed, not a nut though - isn't it?

I have a really funny story - but I cant tell you becaue I think my friend posts here and she'd know I was ripping the piss talking about her!

Suffice to say she gets fixated on things, has these mad little obsessions, which last for 3 months until she gets bored, then has another one. Often health related, but not always.

A coconut is a seed, not a nut though

all nuts are seeds!

A coconut is a fruit, I think