to feel very betrayed by this

(87 Posts)
rutile Wed 02-Jan-13 18:26:49

I run a small business and I employ my brother (18) part time to help me with the admin. Today he told me that he’s been offered another job and that if I don’t raise his pay then he’s going to take it. We have been struggling recently but we are about to enter a very busy spell and I could do without having to recruit a replacement and show them how I want things to be done etc. I have always treated him really well (eg I gave him 3 weeks off around his exam period in the summer) and I feel really hurt that he has been going behind my back looking for another job to spring his increased wage demands. DP says that’s capitalism for you and said I should have listened to him when he said I shouldn’t have employed him and mixed family and business.

ComposHat Thu 03-Jan-13 12:08:53

There is nothing 'sneaky' about looking for another job, he is an employee who is entitled to sell his labour to whoever he chooses. You pay him the legal minimum and are surprised that he wants to look elsewhere?

If you are expecting unquestioning devotion and loyalty in exchange for shite wages just because you share a genepool then YABVU.

BettySuarez Thu 03-Jan-13 13:31:59

I honestly don't think that his rate of pay or the fact that he is your brother should have any bearing here.

If you had posted to say that you were employing a teenager part-time who had now decided to look for another job, all of the responses on here would be 'eh?' 'and?'

I presume that you have issued him with a proper employment contract (if not, why not?) and that in there it states that he needs to give x amount of notice?

So is he working his notice or not? If he is then what are you complaining about?

If he isn't then he will learn the hard way that he needs to treat his employers fairly if he wishes be treated fairly by them.

I have employed family before (I have employed my teens part-time too) and there have never been any problems as we have always kept work and family seperate and kept everything on a professional level.

Not any any point would I have expected my kids to feel 'obligated' or 'grateful' for the work/pay they had and I actively encouraged them to move on when the time was right for them

It's a mistake to make assumptions based on a percieved family loyalty

skullcandy Thu 03-Jan-13 13:49:00

how much more is the bar paying? can you match it?

12ylnon Thu 03-Jan-13 14:42:37

He's 18 and you expect him to stick with a minimum wage job? I understand that you may not be able to pay him more, but i don't think you can be annoyed at him for making the most of the opportunity he's been given. I would be very proud of him if i were you!

I would be hurt if a member of my family went about it in this way (not that I am in your situation). I can understand why you would feel betrayed, but I think the best thing to do now is let him go. At 18 the grass will always be greener on the other side, and if you increase his wage now (whether you can afford to or not) you will always be worrying about whether he would do the same again. Wish him the very best of luck and ask if he would be prepared to stay on long enough to train someone else (even if you pay him more for a few weeks to do so).

GrumpySod Thu 03-Jan-13 16:50:35

yanbu. I'd be well cheesed off.
Hope you find a good replacement quickly.

oldraver Thu 03-Jan-13 16:55:30

Get him to draft an advert for a new employee before he goes

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Thu 03-Jan-13 17:07:11

where has op gone ?

gimmecakeandcandy Thu 03-Jan-13 17:10:24

She has flounced anyfucker!

ComposHat Thu 03-Jan-13 17:13:35

Get him to draft an advert for a new employee

Something like - Schuck required, must be prepared to work for a pittance and offer a lifetime commitment. Employer reserves the right to get shirty if you ever attempt to seek alternative employment.

StuntGirl Sun 06-Jan-13 20:19:28

You lot must have been in very lucky positions to be able to turn down NMW jobs at age 18! I certainly didn't get anything better than that at that age.

ComposHat Sun 06-Jan-13 20:31:57

Well regardless of that he HAS found something better.

SO he can hardly be blamed for taking it.

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