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Vicarinatutu: it's an answerphone - sorry, on phone so can't link.

If you type truecall on Amazon, it'll show you.

They were featured on The Dragon's Den and all the Dragons were falling over each other to invest, so presumably they're fed up with telesales calls, too

As already mentioned register with the telephone preference service. Also, report ALL unwanted calls to OFCOM. You need to fill out a short online form, it only takes a couple of minutes.
TPS and OFCOM details are here
Also follow up EVERY unwanted call (AND email AND letter) send an email to the company involved saying that you do not give them permission to send you any marketing whatsoever AND that you want all your details removed from any databases they may have. Tell them they must confirm that they have done this.

Also, get our details removed from 192.com. They get everyone's details from the electral registrar and list them online. You need to fill out this form for everyone in your household and send it in to them.

Also, remember that you must never give permission for anyone to use your details. Tick or untick those boxes!

I do all of the above and almost get no unwanted marketing. The more people that do it the better.

Your not our

ah thanks tanith! i will have a look!

The Microsoft scammer phoned me back 3 times to take me to task for calling him a crook . The third time I went into another room where DS couldn't hear me and swore vociferously at length at him and he didn't call back again.

I once got told to fuck off by someone at British Gas!

I said "I will. Fuck right off to the pub with my friend for lunch, enjoy the rest of your shift in the call centre"

This was me phoning to ask why no one turned up for my appointment.

Switched suppliers because of that.

I have great fun answering these calls in a serious don't-mess-with-me voice with the words "this is an MI5 secure line. We are tracing your call. Where did you obtain your number?"

They usually vacate the line promptly.

Survey calls get told that I'd be delighted to help with their survey but I do charge £100ph for my time so if they could just give me the address for my invoice...

Cue line going dead.

this is also a funny way to handle these calls

Furball, that was a great YouTube vid!

I too have Truecall though so don't get these annoying calls anymore!

Helena - I'm going to substitute CIA for that. With my accent that will really put the wind up their sales....!

Bring 'em on!

Furball

I like stringing out calls from people trying to sell me conservatories.
They sound so disappointed when I inform I can sadly not be taking up their offer due to living in a 2nd floor flat.

The last time someone called me from 'Microsoft' I told them I hadn't got a computer was quite amusing took the wind right out of their sail. They just said ok bye and never rang back. I always say we live in rented accommodation too.

Have you ever seen that Liam on film where he is ex CIA and his daughter is kidnapped. He does this speech about hunting down the person on the phone. I'd be tempted to print that out and read it out to them.

"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."

Okay it would need modifying a bit. But I hate these calls, and when they get aggressive (I too have been told to f**k off)... I tell them that all of my calls are recorded and that I will hand this one over to the police for investigation.

Liam Neeson not Liam on!

saying it is a listed building works well with double glazing conservatories and sky ( you need planning permission for the dish and they can't be bothered)

ask for their number and landlord or estate manager will ring you back

I am slightly deaf, but saying i did not catch that, sorry could you repeat, giving wrong answers

we do not get calls much ourselves but get calls for previous occupant who died 3 years ago aged 93, i am not convinced she was needing their services

them " can i speak to jemima puddleduck"

me " no"

them " why not when will she be back"

me "difficult to say not sure when next resurrection of the dead is due"

them " uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! "

This reminds me of a call I get from a company that did conservatories... We lived on the 9th floor at the time!

I know this is crass, but I am a tiny bit relieved (if surprised) to see how many here have also been told to fuck off by cold callers. When I first posted I tought it was very unusual, hence the exclamation marks. I see now that it's actually quite common. Which doesn't make it more acceptable - but at least I'm not alone in my predicament.

I'm making notes of all your helpful suggestions for dealing with, and preventing, such calls. I quite like the LN's speech, but call me a whimp am a bit weary of issuing death threats

I know this is crass, but I am a tiny bit relieved (if surprised) to see how many here have also been told to fuck off by cold callers. When I first posted I tought it was very unusual, hence the exclamation marks. I see now that it's actually quite common. Which doesn't make it more acceptable - but at least I'm not alone in my predicament.

I'm making notes of all your helpful suggestions for dealing with, and preventing, such calls. I quite like the LN's speech, but call me a whimp am a bit weary of issuing death threats

Oops, apologies, not sure what happened here

I obviously wouldn't issue a death threat... But something along those lines. I quite like another poster's suggestion .

'This is a secure MI5 line, we are tracing and recording your call. How did you get this number?!'

Hee Hee!

My dad always answers the phone with "hello". Once he realises its a cold call he says, "you've come through to the control room, putting you through to the Chief Inspector now"

I got a call from one of those debt management companies saying that my details had been passed onto them because I was struggling with debt. I don't do debt, other than my mortgage, and told him so. I asked to be taken off his caller list. He called me a liar and said that everyone had debt and I was obviously in denial! I asked to be put through to his supervisor and got told to fuck off. Perhaps it is now in the training scheme for call centre staff.

I always tell them I am a food takeaway shop and insist they give Me their order. They hang up quickly and it's great fun! Even the dc do it now

Press a few numbers on your keypad whilst they are on the phone and then say "Officer, this is the nuisance call I have reported".

The only calls we ever get are those recorded ones telling us they have a very urgent message about PPI. I never get real people phoning us at home, even though we've never done the TPS thing.

I once had someone from a PPI claimback firm call me on my mobile at work. He refused to believe I had no debt, no credit cards, nothing. After he'd refused to believe me a couple of times I said "Look, you moron, you might be stupid enough to spend money you don't have but I'm not. Remove my details from your database and DON'T EVER call me again. DO NOT EVER call this number again." I hung up and turned round to see everyone in the office sniggering at their desks. Seemed to do the trick though!