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To LOVE whoppers, kidders and deliberately lying to children....

(70 Posts)
CogitOCrapNotMoreSprouts Thu 20-Dec-12 10:19:04

The Santa myth is frankly, small potatoes. Our family has a grand tradition of mad rellies that tell the smaller generation the biggest, fattest, pants-on-fire lies which are swallowed whole and with huge delight. One uncle convinced us for years that he'd done backing vocals for 'his mate' Bob Marley.

AIBU? Anyone else's family love a whopper? Care to share?

My gran, through my teenage years, used either touch or to take any gift a boyfriend had given me and pretend to have a physic link to them through it and tell me if they were any good for me.

You know what...she wasn't ever wrong. She told me that now DH was the one after shaking his hand.

<now wondering if gran is actually a bit woo>

CogitOCrapNotMoreSprouts Thu 20-Dec-12 13:28:17

For budding vegetarians everywhere..... DF informed us that chicken meat comes from chickens, beef from cows, pork from pigs and.... lion chops from lions.

Thistledew Thu 20-Dec-12 13:36:06

I have no DCs yet but am already planning the lies and misinformation I shall feed them. I reckon that telling them to look out for wild animals whenever the Satnav says "bear left" will be a good one.

freddiefrog Thu 20-Dec-12 13:50:19

My grandad was missing a finger which he told me happened wrestling tigers in the jungle

That sheep have 2 legs longer than the other so they don't roll down hills

That the icecream van only played music when it had run out of icecream

That cats eyes in the road were real cats in little boxes under the road and we had to be very careful not to drive over them

That you should never press your belly button in case your legs fell off

We had loads of tall stories, but I can't think of anymore

I can't believe I fell for it all blush

My dad told me the sheep thing too Freddie! grin He said the longer, fatter legs cost more in the supermarket too....

He also told me that if you dont 'buy someone out' on The Crystal Maze that they get left in there to die, and that the dust on the floor in the challenge rooms was dead people.

He told me 'Blow Jobs' was the name of a famour hairdresser, believed him until i started secondary school.

Jins Thu 20-Dec-12 14:06:39

My brother and I have promised to back each other up in any story that we tell in the future grin

Snugabugz Thu 20-Dec-12 14:07:32

Everyone knows if you unscrew your belly button your bum falls off don't they?

OhlimpPricks Thu 20-Dec-12 14:30:04

Wind is caused by trees waving to each other.....or so I tell my DN's grin

yaimee Thu 20-Dec-12 14:40:30

Convinced my sister that Spam is a mixture of spiders and ham, told her that they had to eat it during the war because of rationing etc but people had developed at taste for it so they've continued to make it ever since. She believed be until she was at least 12! Heeheehee!

Naomi7 Fri 21-Dec-12 14:51:05

My children think that before we had children DH wrestled crocodiles and I was a super hero. Of course it goes without saying all mums are superheroes anyway! I often have to explain what good deeds I did to save the universe

TheCortanaThatStoleChristmas Fri 21-Dec-12 14:56:54

squeakytoy
"I am still convinced that the Haggis does really exist and roams free on scottish moorlands..."

Just this morning DP regaled DS with the story of his Haggis hunting days and how he made is fortune selling "Haggis Mating Call Whistles* to English tourists.

He also has scars from a tiger.....

INeedThatForkOff Fri 21-Dec-12 15:35:10

My grandad once gave me baby duck's eggs. For years I thought that sugared almonds were laid by ducklings blush

I've told both boys Bob Marleys Buffalo Soldier is Gruffalo Soldier, just so I can stop listening to Justin Fletcher.

WigglyBraddins Fri 21-Dec-12 19:39:27

When we used to drive up & down the country my dad convinced my Fawsley Gated Road was the name of a village. I only realised it wasn't 2 years ago when I met a colleague from that bit of Northants & asked him if he lived near Fawsley Gated Road. He laughed til he cried. My dad also convinced me something dreadful about the lady that ram the corner shop but it may be too awful to share!

TiredofZombies Fri 21-Dec-12 21:38:01

Not mine I'm afraid but one my friend told me. As a child she hung on her grandad's every word, and one day he told her that a spoonful of vinegar every day would help her grow big and strong. She managed about a week until her mum caught her climbing on the worktop to get at the vinegar.

Gabbyell Sat 22-Dec-12 08:28:20

My oh decided to tell our 5 year old that if you cut your head off it would grow back, I had to break that lie as I felt she believed it to much he then said it would happen to any parts just like a starfish.

He told our older girls that Dick ( from Dick and Dom ) surname was head I was not impressed a few weeks later when I hear them call him his so called name lol

He also told them one school holiday that it was school the next day they went to bed really well got up all excited got ready to leave for bus till he then said actually its tomorrow you go back, they now ask me if anything he says is true lol

No long term family deciets though

sashh Sat 22-Dec-12 11:03:04

Ah, just remembered the Barnado's lady. She used to knock at the door every month or so and say "I'm collecting for Barnado's". My dad told me she was collecting children!

My mum actually grabben me and my brother by the collar and said "here you are, take these".

My grandad had a dalek that lived in the top cuboard in the kitchen (actually a water tank).

At Halloween I was in the pub at lunchtime, a little girl and her gran came in, she looked at all the decorations and thought they were nice but was scared to eat in that part of the pub.

We convinced her that beacuse she was wearing a special halloween costume she would be safe from monsters and mitches.

pepperrabbitanddesultorytinsel Sat 22-Dec-12 11:07:48

My dad told me that in the FA Cup Final it wasn't the team that scored the most goals that won, it was whoever could get their whole team up to the grandstand first at the end of the match.
For YEARS I vaguely pondered the injustice of it, but had no actual interest in football at all.
I was 18, yes 18, when I discovered the lie blush

monkeysbignuts Sat 22-Dec-12 14:38:18

my dad told me for years that he was "Jason" in the film "Jason & the argonaughts" I was convinced he was a famous actor lol ( Todd Armstrong) in all fairness to me he does look a lot like my dad when he was younger.

fidol Sat 22-Dec-12 15:15:03

My DH's bum will fall off if I go near his belly button...he's convinced.
I remember the shampoo boat that sank... That's why the sea goes all white when boats go fast. Isn't it?

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