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about Christmas card etiquette?

(57 Posts)
boschy Tue 11-Dec-12 11:44:28

We have only had 3 cards so far this year. None were charity (tho one was M&S, which has some blurb about recycling and the Forestry Commission).

One had a computer generated label - ok, I can live with that, just about. But inside was printed "Merry Christmas and lots of love from The Smith-Jones" (pseudonym). Our names were handwritten, but no other signature etc.

Now, in my book, cards MUST be charity, and should be brought from a proper charity, eg a charity shop or stall or via mail order, not those boxes you get in WHS which say "20p of this £4.99 will go to 200 different charities".

And you should also write a personal signature and preferably message. Round robins are a whole other subject...

AIBU?! grin

BandersnatchCummerbund Fri 14-Dec-12 17:55:15

Oh, and I always try to select cards for religious/non-religious friends, too.

BandersnatchCummerbund Fri 14-Dec-12 17:54:29

I do appreciate cards whatever they're like, and always enjoy getting them.

But that doesn't mean that I don't notice how beautiful the card is/whether it's from a charity/whether they've bothered to write some news in it. It's possible to be discerning without being ungrateful.

My own cards are always from Oxfam. I buy more expensive (i.e. more arty) ones for my closer friends, and I never ever send a card without writing at least a couple of lines in to tell them what I'm up to/give them a personal message etc.

PuffPants Fri 14-Dec-12 17:46:17

I feel a bit sad when I get a card from an old friend and they have merely written our names and their names in it. What's the point? They may as well not bother. All it tells me is that they are still alive. I'm not expecting a letter but a couple of sentences would be nice. And nobody expects you to write a note in each one - just to the people you don't see all year and for whom a Christmas card is the only communication you have left.

silvercup Tue 11-Dec-12 23:15:07

YABU that "cards MUST be charity, bought from a proper charity".

DH and I have both given an awful lot of time over the years to charity by way of volunteering...but we're also pretty skint, so the cards we send are not of the expensive charity variety.

Thankfully the people on our christmas card list know what we do in terms of volunteering (that's how we met) so I very much doubt any of them would be as judgemental as you.

Beaverfeaver Tue 11-Dec-12 22:56:25

I oy sent cards this year because I never got round to sending thank you notes after our wedding earlier this year.

So it was only a handful and only sent to people I won't see or havnt seen since.

All get a personal message but other than that, I am not too bothered.

It's the only year I will ever bother with cards

cardibach Tue 11-Dec-12 21:39:46

YABU. If you want to help a charity, donate the money you wuld have spent on Christmas cards and postage to it and don;t send any cards. Let people know this is what you are doing so they can choose, if they wish, not to send a card to you.
Or are you sending cards to show how caring you are?

YABU.

JoInScotland Tue 11-Dec-12 21:17:36

Gee, we make our own cards and write a message inside each one. We do this because we enjoy it, and my son loves arts & crafts, and posting things.

We don't care how anyone else does their cards, buys their cards, signs their cards or anything! We're just happy they thought about us!

Merry Christmas!

freddiefrog Tue 11-Dec-12 21:02:28

Oops, I meant YABU

Overreactionoftheweek Tue 11-Dec-12 21:02:22

Well I managed to cost some of my friends £1.19 when I didn't put enough postage on a few of my cards this year, so I think I win the crap etiquette award grin

There was a little pompom on the card and so the bastards have obviously classed it as a 'large letter'

freddiefrog Tue 11-Dec-12 21:01:59

YANBU

The only cards that get sent in this house are the ones the kids send to their school friends, and they are boxes of 30 little ones from Poundland

KittyFane1 Tue 11-Dec-12 20:57:53

YABU. Charity cards are a con.
Even those where 100% goes to the charity named. It doesn't. They have manufacturing and marketing costs just like WHSmith do to produce the cards and only a tiny percentage goes to them in profit.
I say send any card you wish and if so inclined, give money direct to a good cause but even then a percentage gets sucked up by the charity's admin costs.

MrsHoarder Tue 11-Dec-12 20:57:32

Yule you might want to move that posting date forward

YuleBritannia Tue 11-Dec-12 20:53:03

We don't necessarily buy charity cards because they cost more than those from supermarkets which I buy after Christmas. We love to keep in touch with people who have been something in our lives.

When we choose cards, we choose those that have a proper Christmas meaning. Those that have a manger or stained glass windows or shepherds or angels or a star etc. Sooo hard to find these days.

YuleBritannia Tue 11-Dec-12 20:48:06

We have reached the stage that, with more than 200 people on our Christmas card list, I've written all our cards but will not post them until 18 December. Any card received that is postmarked after, say, 19 December will not receive one from me next year because theirs had been a 'return' rather than sent because they want to.

Some of our prospective recipients send us an e-mail Christmas greeting and I will accept that as a 'Christmas card'.

The more you communicate with people, even if only once a year, the more they remain your friends.

jingle If you buy charity cards from the right place, quite a lot goes to charity. The people who staff the pop up shops are often volunteers.
Debenhams win the scrooge award this year

jinglebellyalltheway Tue 11-Dec-12 14:13:26

YABU, fuck all goes to charity from charity cards
we don't buy charity cards, okay we bought one pack but the majority weren't, we buy in our budget.... and always write a personal message... and give a HUGE percentage of our earnings to directly to charity so who are you to judge us for not buying charity christmas cards?

WholeLottaRosie Tue 11-Dec-12 14:10:16

LadyCCM and Jins it's not just from this thread, last Christmas there was quite a lengthy discussion about people addressing envelopes incorrectly, another one about people not writing the name of every child individually, another complaining their child's name was spelt wrong...

If I get a card I barely glance at the envelope, I have a look at the card design, read the message, then put it on display. I don't think "The dirty bastards, how dare they send me a card painted by foot-and-mouth artists when they know I can't draw to save my life"

I'm just bemused by it all I guess smile

ScatterGotStuckUpTheChimney Tue 11-Dec-12 14:00:52

I think it depends really. I but the RNLI ones because I tend to like the designs and think they're good quality. If they weren't for the RNLI I'd probably still buy them because I like them. It doesn't make any difference how much I donate to charity though- I'd have to buy the cards anyway.

I bought some Oxfam ones this year because I liked the design, but probably won't next year because the inside of the cards is very slippery (I write in fountain pen).

AnnaRack Tue 11-Dec-12 13:52:52

Charity cards arent a good way of donating to charity because only a fraction of the cost of the cards actually goes to charity. Youre better off buying cheapo noncharity cards and giving the money youve saved to xharity. What charity cards are good for is improving the image of the sender. "Wow, X is such a caring, generous person, she bought this card from x charity." But actually the most generous givers are quite secretive about it, I imagine.

Jins Tue 11-Dec-12 13:24:53

Rosie I was being tongue in cheek. However an RSPCA card won't make it to the display smile

spidermanspiderman Tue 11-Dec-12 13:23:06

We do homemade cards. We do write names in them but no lengthy messages. I hate writing letters! Oh and we only send to close family - did suggest stopping but my dm said no as everyone loves our cards and keeps them! I think I've made a rod for my back.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Tue 11-Dec-12 13:13:33

Rosie, I think in this thread the OP is the one doing most of the analysing!

Idocrazythings Tue 11-Dec-12 13:13:33

YABU. I think you have too much free time if you are bothering over this. This years christmas cards have been my slackest yet, but I think people should appreciate the thought. I dont expect one in return, and I'd be surprised if we got many this year as we have moved and not really handed out our new address!

YABU to decide that other people ought to follow your decisions.

You make your choices. Other people make theirs. They may have reasons for their choices which you would agree with if you understood them. Or maybe not. But it is their choice where to buy Christmas cards and what to write/print/stick into them.

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