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to not be able to get used to DSs name?

(62 Posts)
pageturner1 Sun 09-Dec-12 22:31:16

DS is four months old and I still cannot get used to calling him his name and flinch when I hear others say it. We gave him my favourite name ever but there is something about it that doesn't feel like his name - if that makes sense. I can't work out why this is.

Has anyone else felt like this? If so, how long did it take for you to get used to your DCs name? Is there anyone who is still not comfortable with it? I'm wondering if I'll always feel like this.

I couldn't go into the registry office to register dd2. I was so disappointed that she wouldn't be called the name I loved that I knew I'd burst into tears when I was asked for the name.

Now I feel bad because I was there for the registration of dd1 but not her. And I've grown to accept the name I guess.

ChippingInAWinterWonderland Mon 10-Dec-12 00:42:14

Why don't you choose another name you like - one that you would consider changing it to and use that for a few days - see if you feel any differently. It might be the actual name that's causing you this problem, but it might just be using any name on such a scrap of a thing smile Most names see far far far too much for a tiny baby - even if it's only Ann or Ben!

DoingItOnTheRoofTopWithSanta Mon 10-Dec-12 01:05:21

you'll get used to it

SantaWearsGreen Mon 10-Dec-12 09:05:24

Yeah tis normal. I called mine 'baby' for the first month because I couldn't link that baby that was nameless inside me for so long with said name, was just too weird. DC3 has a long grown up name, we shorten it and she always goes by it. We feel really odd calling her the long name and when people do I do cringe a bit. Its more for her official name when she's older and gets a job above all. It just isn't babyish.

Shorten it, or lengthen it to (for example) Jacky because Jack can't be shortened but if you add a y on the end it feels more baby-like iyswim.

GlaikitFizzogTheChristmasElf Mon 10-Dec-12 09:18:18

I had a wobble with DSs name and found it really hard to call him but it around 3 months even though, like you, it's a name I love and we had decided on it long before he was born, but I really felt disconnected from it.

Now he is 19 months and his name suits him so so much, I actually feel a bit silly about my wobble.

I think how you are feeling is quite normal, probably something to do with hormones! They get blamed for everything else!

lola88 Mon 10-Dec-12 12:35:04

We picked DS's name when i was about 6months preg because it was the only name we both loved i hated DP's other names and he hated mine so when we spoke about the baby in private we called him his name, when he was born it felt funny to call him the name even though we had been calling him it for months. I used to txt DP saying 'he' has just been fed' 'he's' just done xyz it took me a few months to start getting used to it.

DP said he felt strange saying his name at work because it's quite an unusual name so called him 'the wee man' (we're from glasgow it's normal) for a good while.

KitCat26 Mon 10-Dec-12 12:47:08

Yes. DD1's name.

Her proper name is DH's favourite, her nickname is my favourite. She has always been known as her nickname but will answer to her official name if needs be. I still find it odd if I have to use her proper name like at the Drs and she is 3 now.

Jingleflobba Mon 10-Dec-12 13:03:15

I know you said you don't like using middle names for day to day but could I advise against doing it anyway?
DH is known by his middle name to family and friends. Always has been. On official stuff he is known by his 'real' first name. I can't tell you how much confusion this has caused! He's 40 now and still has to explain so many times about his name it gets tedious...
One day springs to mind actually, DD answered the phone and someone asks for Mr X Flobba. She (7yo) says "who?" Before I get to the phone and go through the usual thing of "yes, He lives here, just a moment" and then explain to DD that Daddy has 2 names he uses, some people call him X but we know him as Y.
And the conversation we had with the vicar about which name he wanted to use at our wedding had to be heard to be believed...

screamingeels Mon 10-Dec-12 13:15:39

I'm glad to hear I am not the only nutter that doesn't like the name they gave their DC. I still don't really like DD's and she's 5. All the reasons that we chose it still exist: its got loads of nicknames so she'll have some choice to mould it herself, it goes really well with DH's tricky surname (so tricky I never bothered changing mine) and I love what it means. But I just don't like it - I call her a nickname I invented, not any of the many official ones, or what DS has been calling her since he started to talk. I like DS's name though, although I expect its probably looked down on on here as its very common (popular rather than 'as muck') - oh and I hate my own I've never been able to relate it to me and I'd rather people didn't use it.

DollySistersBrothersFatherXmas Mon 10-Dec-12 13:19:20

You say it's your favourite name. If this is the case you've probably had it in your head for a while along with a mental picture of what someone with that name looks like or what someone with that name behaves like. (For example I'm always surprised if I meet a Cathy who is brunette. In my head Cathys are blonde, Kathys are brunette iyswim?)

Could it be that now you've got this whole new person who doesn't fit your mental image, and much as you love the name you think it doesn't suit him?

The thing is he's now four months old and his personality is about to burst through. Before you know it he will define his name, it will be his appearance and his personality that will spring to mind when you hear his name.

If you love the name, stick with it. It's his. It's the first gift you gave him. And it's the one you've always loved.

DollySistersBrothersFatherXmas Mon 10-Dec-12 13:20:41

You say it's your favourite name. If this is the case you've probably had it in your head for a while along with a mental picture of what someone with that name looks like or what someone with that name behaves like. (For example I'm always surprised if I meet a Cathy who is brunette. In my head Cathys are blonde, Kathys are brunette iyswim?)

Could it be that now you've got this whole new person who doesn't fit your mental image, and much as you love the name you think it doesn't suit him?

The thing is he's now four months old and his personality is about to burst through. Before you know it he will define his name, it will be his appearance and his personality that will spring to mind when you hear his name.

If you love the name, stick with it. It's his. It's the first gift you gave him. And it's the one you've always loved.

DollySistersBrothersFatherXmas Mon 10-Dec-12 13:23:14

Bahh! Not sure how I did that confused

vitaminC Mon 10-Dec-12 13:24:41

I didn't get used to my middle DD's name until she started speaking and calling herself that name.

I always used a pet name for her, until one day she actually told me she didn't like it and would rather be called by her real name! So we started using her name and it started to fit her.

She's 10 and it really suits her now, but it certainly took a couple of years for her to grow into it smile

Theicingontop Mon 10-Dec-12 13:29:42

My son was 'little D' or 'baby' for the first few months. I forced myself to start using his name and it was so strange for a while. I actually love his name, I think it was just habit. You'll get used to it smile

My mum told me a few years ago she wished she'd called me Kate. (I'm 36)

I love the name, it feels much more right than my actual name, which I hate.

BigShinyBaubles Mon 10-Dec-12 13:41:29

You'll get used to it in time, do you use a nickname at all? I call mu youngest DS Titch most of the time.
My eldest DS is called Matthew..My favourite boys name ever. I never shorten but my DH calls him Matt or Maffew because he can't pronounce 'th'...it's driven me bonkers for the last 13 years!!

skatebauble Mon 10-Dec-12 13:43:09

If it helps, i didnt call my ds my favourite name and regret it. I also thought about a v unusual name which has a common nickname. I regret that too. Whenever i hear a child called my favourite name i feel a tiny bit sad i didnt call him it. I probably always will.
He has a name that was on the list for dc1. Im not sure i like his name now but he suits it and has grown into it. Probably when he was about 18 months.

skatebauble Mon 10-Dec-12 13:45:26

big you have just made me a tiny bit sad. grin

notcitrus Mon 10-Dec-12 13:46:14

Took me ages to get used to ds being called by his name - I think we spent most of the first year referring to him as That Baby, young feller-me-baby, munchkin, gillikin, samosa, etc.
It was only once he was at nursery around a year and other people used his name all the time and finally when he had toddler friends using it that I got properly used to it. We chose the name finally when I was about 8 months pregnant though I was furious after birth when MrNC started dithering about how maybe we should use the middle name instead (which we'd ruled out for embarrassing initials and being hard to say).

So I suspect your ds will grow into the name, given it's one you've always loved.

With dd we chose her name about 10 years before she was born and it seemed to fit immediately - though she's known as name-baby most of the time.

QuietNinjaChristmasSpecial Mon 10-Dec-12 13:53:12

After 9 months of calling ds baby it was very weird to start saying his name. Took a little while to get used to it and for a while he was known as baby ds name as baby kept slipping out. It's normal, you'll get used to it.

We call DD2 chicken. We started to make more of an effort to call her by her name when we pointed to her in the mirror, asked her who is it, and she said "Chicken".

OP you are completely normal.

That does sound strange. You can change it though up to a certain time on the birth cert if you don't like it that much.

I called my kids names from my dps family, but if I'm truly honest they weren't the names I'd always had in mind. They fit well though now!

Feminine Mon 10-Dec-12 17:14:19

I made a mistake with our second sons name.

Thought about changing it for ages. Its a lovely name, but its constantly spelt wrong (by others) and it only has 5 letters!

It can't be shortened either. As I'm typing, I realize that his name does suit him, but still I'm left wondering if I made a mistake?

YANBU smile I guess it happens.

Lastofthepodpeople Mon 10-Dec-12 19:04:31

YANBU. It took me a while to get used to DSs name. I've actually got into the habit now of calling him by the shortened version which I couldn't stand preDS but now is just his name. I think its fairly normal.

Scheherezade Mon 10-Dec-12 19:12:52

I called my DS 'baby' for the first 6 months!

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